


You have a New Message

by catedourado13



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anya & Lexa are sisters, Clexa, Clexa is Endgame, Comic-Con, Drama & Romance, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Foster Care, Gaming, Geek!Lexa, Hurt/Comfort, Linctavia - Freeform, Mom friend!Clarke, Panic Attacks, ranya, super heroes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-22 03:49:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 57,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7418677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catedourado13/pseuds/catedourado13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one were Octavia and Raven teach Clarke to play videogames and she develops a crush for the unknown player who helps her get better at the game. </p>
<p>or </p>
<p>The college AU were Clarke and Lexa play together online everyday but don't know each other in real life let alone that they are in the same class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“This motherfucker!” Octavia jumped out of her chair and kicked it back, starling Clarke and Raven who were absorbed by their studies.

“What the hell, O? Rage quit much?”

“Sorry, girls” She picked up her chair and put it back in place, she looked at her laptop screen one more time before closing the lid. Her friends stood quiet still waiting for an explanation. Octavia growl in annoyance “There’s this player that his only mission on this game was to kill me! I bet my Oreos on that!”

“Uh, must be true, if Oreos are on the line” Raven, one of her roommates, whose sarcasm is her second language gave her an apologetic nod.

“Whatever, gonna get something to drink. You guys want something?” The brunette stud up from the living room on the apartment they share and walked to the kitchen.

“Water, please” Clarke spoke, lifting her finger without looking away from her sketch book. Octavia came back with a bottle of water and two cans of coke. She gave one to Raven who smiled, touched by the simple gest.

“The future doctor drinking water, the future mechanical drinking coke, you guys are nothing like stereotypes definitions.”

She seated back and looked at her two best friends. Raven put her hand on hold and shook her head.

“Not true, if I was a stereotype mechanic I would be drinking beer!”

“Touché” Octavia lift her can, touching Raven’s. “What is the matter, Griffin, you are awful quiet today”

“Long day…”

Octavia knew something was wrong, but she knew Clarke didn’t like to be pushed. The three of them knew each almost their all lives. Their goal was to be together always: same high school, same college and now same house. She share a concerned look with Raven, but the other brunette just shrug.

Clarke’s mind was rushing, she should be studying for her upcoming test, but she was in her living room, drawing roses. She found out her boyfriend of three years was cheating on her. Finn Asshole Collins. He was Raven’s boyfriend first. Cheated on her, met Clarke, made the girl’s friendship hang on a thread, but they worked it out and Raven was okay with Clarke dating Finn, but not pleased and avoided being with them in the same room. And now, after so many warnings, Clarke felted defeated and didn’t want to hear any “I told you so” from the girls.

They dinner in peace, some noodles and vegetables from the take out of the nights before. The silence around them was not awkward, they loved each other’s company and felt good just being around.

 

* * *

 

“Rae, maybe you could team up with me, the next game, so I can take down that player.” Octavia hoped to have someone by her side in that game, normally her teammates were awful and Raven was an awesome player. They finished cleaning the table and normally they would seat by the tv and watch something before going to sleep and wake up the next morning to go to classes. They have this routine and it was good, it was home.

“Never played that game before, O, don’t know if I would be of any help…”

“You’ll learn fast, come”

“Guys, if you don’t mind, I’ll be in my room, I need to sleep.” Clarke excused herself from the table and walked to her room, the tears from that day were beginning to be enough burden for her to handle.

“Sure, no problem, Griffin.”

The moment Clarke closed the door, the tears start running through her eyes. She leaned against the door, sobbing loudly. The two steps to her bed seemed so fucking far. How could he do this to her? How? Making her fall in love with him and, the exact moment she can’t turn around, she was all in, he breaks her heart. Fucking asshole.

She didn´t know how long she was sitting by her door, crying, but she jumped when she hear the knocking on the door. 

“Clarke, open the door please.” Raven was concerned and Clarke knew by the tone on her voice that her friend wasn’t going away until she opened the door. Clarke unlocked the door and laid in her bed, face planted on her pillows. She felt a friendly hand rubbing circles on her back.

“Was it Finn, wasn’t it?”

Clarke turned to face the girl. She was looking at Clarke with sympathetic eyes. Between her cloudy ones, and the lack of effort of focusing, Clarke nodded and Raven kissed her forehead, before laying down next to her. They stared at the celling for a while.

“How did you know?”

“Come on, Clarke, I’m an actually genius. Since you walked through that door today, you couldn’t face me. I wanted to give you some space, but hearing you cry was too much for me.”

“I thought you were going to yell at me…”

“Nah, that asshole is not worth it”

Clarke hugged Raven’s side and let her chin rest on top of the brunette’s shoulder.

“Thank you”

“You are welcome. O, you can come on in!” The other brunette enter the room slowly, her expression unsure, but the moment she saw the smiles on her friends she relaxed and placed herself on the other side of Clarke’s.

“You fuck heads!”

They laugh and stared at the celling. When Clarke’s father died, when Raven had her accident and Octavia’s dad walked away from her family they were each other’s rocks. They would lay down just like this, it was their recovering moment, the best way to charge up energy.

“How was the game?” Clarke broke the silence, touching Octavia’s leg.

“It was okay. We win!” the grin on her face explains itself.

“So, you defeated the big bad player?”

Octavia frowned.

“I guess I was a little harsh on the Commander, earlier… She’s cool…”

Clarke stud up on the bed and glare at Octavia who was drawing circles on Clarke’s bed sheets with her fingers. Raven laughed.

“What happened?”

“The all mighty CommanderTrikru was on our team and Octavia almost shit herself. She tried to start a conversation with her and we heard a voice, a female voice, just saying: I remember you Soccer, just try to look at the map on the screen and we will win.”

Octavia threw a pillow to Raven who caught it.

“So, she’s a girl?”

“Yes, and she slayed Octavia’s ass, put her back in place. Oh Clarke, you should have seen the way O blushed. Priceless!” The mockery was playful and hearted warming.

“Fuck off, Raven!” Octavia picked up the blankets Clarke usually has at the bottom of her bed and covered herself with one, turning her backs to her friends. “I’m going to sleep, I have practice tomorrow! Unlike you two geniuses, I need to work my ass on this scholarship so I can attend this fucking college and be around your stupid asses.”

“We love you too, O”

 

* * *

 

She hates college. No, let’s rephrase that. She hates it today. Finn tried to call her, she had to turn down her phone and even then, even when she tried really hard to concentrate and take notes, he would always end up on her mind, ruining her focus. She wished she could stayed in bed. At least it would be as productive as her classes were. She opened the door to her apartment and all she could hear were her roommates clicking on their laptops and cursing really loudly. She walked to the living room, they were seated on the table, across each other, but their gaze was locked on their computers’ screens. Cans of coke and red bull were piling on the floor and the table as were boxes of Oreos and Cheetos. Clarke was astonished. They didn’t hear her coming.

“Please tell me you guys did something productive today, aside of playing that game!”

Both girls jumped up, startled by the disappointed voice behind them. Octavia lifted her middle finger to Clarke, without breaking gaze from the computer.

“Fuck off, mom!”

“You guys are unbelievable. I’m going to start dinner, but I guess you guys won’t be with much hunger, after all that junk funk I’m seeing around you.”

She strolled to the kitchen, maybe cooking could clear her mind. Ok, first thing, chop onions. She knew this by heart, her father’s lasagna recipe. It was her consolation food and she needed it today. After putting it in the oven, Clarke picked up her sketch book and lay on the couch, next to the dinner table where her friends were, sticking her headphones on her ears and turning her music the loudest possible.

Raven stopped playing smelling the air around them. It ran through Octavia’s nose a second later. They exchange worried looks.

“Sorry, Commander, we have to go, our friend isn’t okay.”

Raven apologized to the girl who they have been playing with for hours. When they caught her in the same team again, they asked to exchange emails so they could use skype to talk, without the video calling, while playing. It was must easier than typing everything. They started a team, every game two other players would be random select with their team so they could play against other five players. It has been fun, the Commander was a girl of few words, but shared the same competitive side and the need to win as the two girls.

_“Is she okay?”_

Raven startled at the concern on the girl’s voice. She didn’t except more than a simple okay.

“Her boyfriend cheated on her. Don’t worry, we got it covered. Bye”

Octavia and Raven shuted down their computers and walked around the table, seating next to Clarke on the couch. They didn’t say a thing but Clarke let her head rest on Octavia’s lap and cried.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa started playing this annoying game because she needed something to concentrate her anger and let off some steam. Her sister told her if she rip another boxing sack she would pay for it. She didn’t know why but clicking uncontrollably on a computer mouse, killing other players was invigorating. She been doing it for months now, getting better, she had a reputation already.

When this SoccerPunchO was in her team and asked her something through the game chat she turned her mic on and hushed it. She knew this player, it was an average one, but needed to pay more attention on its surroundings. She was killed so many time because she wouldn’t anticipate the other player’s moves. They played a game together and won. The next time they found each other, they exchanged emails, so they could be gaming and talking about the game on Skype at the same time.

They formed a team with a friend of SoccerPunchO, some FallenMechanic. They were both girls, which surprised Lexa. She didn’t know her real names and the girls call each other by O and Rae, but they played nice and were funny to hear. Lexa had to stop some giggles when the girls screamed to each other, blaming the other for their deaths.

_“Hei, Commander, why can’t anyone kill you?”_

Lexa smirked.

“I’m that good! Don’t worry, someday you might be as good as me”

_“Fuck off!”_

They played mostly in silence, some cursing here and there, but when that husky and slowly voice came through Lexa’s headphone, she almost feel from her chair.

_“Please tell me you guys did something productive today, aside of playing that game!”_

_“Fuck off, mom!”_

_“You guys are unbelievable. I’m going to start dinner, but I guess you guys won’t be with much hunger, after all that junk funk I’m seeing around you.”_

Lexa stood still listening to the voice that was a little far from their teammates’ mic. Her throat was dry.

“Is that your mom?”

She hear a chuckle from the girls.

“Nah, that’s our roommate. Ignore her.”

Of course it would be a roommate, they sound like they were Lexa’s age. They continued to play in silence until the girls hurried away.

 

The girl was cheated on. That made Lexa’s blood rush. She hated cheaters. That was a personal demon of her. She closed her computer and walked out of her room, stopping in the garage. Hand wraps ready, she placed herself next to the pouching bag and started hitting it hard. Right hand, left hand, duck, hook, again. Again. Harder.

“Hey, champ, thought I told you to take it easy on the bag.”

Her sister startled her. Anya was leaning against the door, still in her uniform, her dirty blond hair lock in a ponytail.

“Sorry”

Lexa straighten up, looking down with remorse. Anya walked up to her and punch her jokily on the arm.

“Come, I still have two hours until my shift.”

Anya was a cop and a part time worker at a bar. She was Lexa’s only family and the best Lexa could have hoped for.

In the kitchen, Lexa sat on the counter watching Anya making something for them to eat.

“So,” Anya started “Why was my punching bag beaten up? I thought you were playing that game so that didn’t happen.”

“I was!” Lexa acknowledged and started to explain. “I was playing with this girls and they had to go because their friend was cheated on and was feeling down.”

Anya mouth formed a perfect O. Lexa swung her feet and started counting the tiles on the floor. Being cheated on is the worse, because you feel like you weren’t enough, you didn’t make someone happy, so they have to find another to fulfill your job and when they don’t have the respect to tell you, when you find out yourself is heartbreaking. Why? Because aside from not being enough, you were played with. Lexa had been through that. Through the anger, the disappointment and now the emptiness.

“Well, fuck that!” She jumped to the ground and hugged her sister from behind. “You know you are my favorite person in the world, right?”

Anya laugh putting the knife down and turning around to kiss her sister’s forehead. They had been through so much. Her little sister was almost has taller as she was. Almost. She remembered when she had to pick her up so she could seat on the stool as Anya played the piano, in their childhood house. Big eyed Lexa, always stumbling in her shoe’s laces because it was too hard to knot them, curly and untamable hair bouncing around her, lips permanently on a pout was hit by puberty and now was lean and athletic Lexa, with piercing green eyes, strong jaw, high cheekbones but with those lips always pouting. Anya knew she had to become a cop so she could shot all her sister’s suitors from the front porch. She almost shot the girl who broke her little sister’s heart. Again, almost. She saw her on a coffee shop, flirting and kissing another girl and the next thing Anya knew, she was placing her hand on top of her gun and thinking how easily she could avenge her sister. But then again, it wouldn’t erase the pass, Lexa would still be hurting, maybe more and Anya would be in trouble. Fuck the law. Wait… she was the law… She hanged on and when the girl passed by her side she stumble against her, spilling her coffee all over the girl and walked away, smiling. She didn’t told Lexa about this. Maybe one day.

“You wanna come with me to the bar? I can finally take you there with me!”

Lexa chuckle against her sister’s upper chest. She was legally allowed to drink. Legally, because having a cop and a bartender as a sister is the best of both worlds. Anya would let her drink sometimes with her, in the house, but never let her go to the bar and threated Lexa that if she found her in any bar, she would personally take her ass down to the station.

“I can’t! I have class tomorrow morning!”

“That’s a bummer!”

 

* * *

 

 

The Ethical Class was stupid. That class has a lecture class and a practical one. Why? Clarke didn’t know, but the students are supposed to debate the hypothesis that the professor gives on the week before.  It was unpleasant, but she couldn’t skip it.

Lexa sat on the back of the auditory. Why was she there? Oh yeah, it was mandatory… Stupid class. But she needs to pass to become a lawyer and her scholarship wasn’t enough to make their lives comfortable, that’s why Anya is struggling two jobs. Fuck this. It always her only class that day, on a Friday morning. She couldn’t wait to go home.

When Clarke perceived all her colleagues starting to pack their belongings and rush through the door, she placed her sketch book on her handbag and followed the crowd. She was caught up by a scent in the air, making her nose trace its origin. She looked up to the girl by her side and it was like all around her stopped. Everything on that girl asked to be kissed. Her tanned skin, the cupid’s curve of her lips… Clarke had to stop the artist in her to contour the girl’s face with her fingers. The girl looked down to Clarke and if Clarke thought she had a lady boner before, when their eyes looked, Clarke almost fainted. The girl had the most perfect green eyes. They looked at her with curiosity that made Clarke bite her lower lip. 

“Sorry” was all she elaborated. She stopped and the girl continued her exit. Damn, the view from behind was even more spectacular. The girl wore black tight jeans and a gray bottom up, with her hair tied on a side braid, her messenger bag loosen lazy on her shoulder, making her shoulder blades pop out. If Clarke believed in angels, this girl was one.

She ran home, she needed to immortalize on paper the beauty from ethical class. Raven and Octavia were already there when Clarke arrived. She jumped to the couch and made herself comfortable, making her roommates turn their heads.

“What?”

“You are in a cuddly mood.” Raven remarked.

“You guys won’t believe if I describe the girl I saw on my ethical class today! I need to draw her, I’ll talk with you guys in a bit!” Clarke rushed her friends and putted her headphones before shushing the world around her.

“Thank god, beauty making her jolly like this is one step for her to forget that asshole!” The brunettes high fived. “Hey, look, the Commander is online”

Five minutes later the three gamers were connected and playing.

  

* * *

 

 

Some weeks had passed since Lexa begun playing with O and Rae, she still didn’t knew their names and but was comfortable enough by calling them by this nicknames and they loved calling her Commander. She was starting to enjoy their online company as they all shared a small passion for this game. She started hearing an unfamiliar humming through her headset.

“What is that?” she asked the girls who stopped doing whatever they were doing and the humming was clearer, someone was singing and it was beautiful.

_“Hey Blondie, shut up! Sorry Commander. That’s our roommate, some pretty girl caught her eye on class and she is extremely happy… and maybe horny. Rae we are going to wear ear plugs to sleep tonight!”_

Lexa didn’t know why but felt her cheeks getting warmer. She could hear the girl singing on the background and her friends making assumptions about her sexual life. Well, Lexa knew somethings about this girl: she’s blonde, she can sing and according to her friends, she’s loud and crazy in bed.

“Girls, please, I’m having a strong detailed and unfortunately vivid image of your friend’s sex life. Can we please focus on the game?”

_“Sorry Commander!”_

Having this two as roommates must be exhausting. Anya was a pain in the ass, but was tolerable, this girls must drive the blonde crazy.

 

Clarke jumped when Raven hit her with an empty can. She removed her headphones.

“What?”

“You are singing… Loudly and distracting the Commander. We can’t hear you because of our headsets, but she can! Don’t torture her ears, please!”

Clarke blushed, she didn’t realize she was singing. Oh god, she was embarrassing herself in front of Octavia and Raven’s online friend.

“Sorry Commander” she spoke a little bit loud, so the girl could hear it. She rose up from the couch, putting down her sketch book. The girl from class was there, memorialized on her sketch book, looking as good as when Clarke saw her. During that afternoon, while drawing with meticulous detail, every line of that girl, she traced with fondness the lines of that sculpted jaw and hoped that one day she could touch the girl for real.

Clarke sat down next to Octavia.

“You guys should teach me to play that game! The Commander is stealing my friends away, I want to have fun with you guys too!”

“Clarke, you never played on a computer before. Our ranking of victories would drastically get down if we let you play with us.” Octavia tried to sound reasonable, but deep down she just didn’t like losing and since they teamed up with the Commander, they were always winning.

Clarke’s bottom lip jutted out, trembling and she stared at Octavia with those big blue puppy eyes, making the brunette roll her eyes.

“Hey, she’s good with her fingers, maybe she can learn!” Raven shrug, trying to reason with Octavia and helping Clarke. She hear the Commander cough. “Not what you are thinking, Commander, she’s an artist.”

_“I didn’t say anything! But, please, let her play.”_

Octavia smiled, this girl was funny. Maybe Clarke could use some fun and maybe Octavia was feeling a little guilty about the time they spent online and not with Clarke.

“Okay, Blondie, go pick up your laptop, I already installed the game there, I needed to play somewhere while mine was getting fixed up.”

“You asshole, I thought you were using it to study!”

Octavia stuck her tongue out to Clarke. After ten minutes and Clarke creating an account on the game, they were ready to start. The team’s tutorial was a good way to Clarke to learn how to manure her character,

“Hey, Commander? Blondie here is going to be add up to our team, no problem?”

_“No problem.”_

“Please be gentle with her, she’s new to this.”

_“Like I was gentle with you, O?”_

Octavia blushed and bowed her head down. Raven and Clarke laugh, mocking Octavia.

“You just got burned by the Commander”

“Suck it up, O”

 

For the past 20 minutes Lexa was just hearing the conversation on the girls’ house with a grin on her face. They were really funny. Maybe if they all live near, she could leave her house to do other things besides going to class. She thought for a second. She didn’t know the girls names or were they lived. It never came up and perhaps was better that way. Being alone is easier, nobody can hurt you.

_“Hey, Commander? Blondie here is going to be add up to our team, no problem?”_

“No problem.”

_“Please be gentle with her, she’s new to this.”_

_“_ Like I was gentle with you, O?”

She looked at her screen. It read:

**SkyPrincess joined the party**

 She hear a laugh different from the ones she is used to. It was lighter and made her think about the night sky and before Lexa realized, she had melted in her chair.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it that easy to fall for someone you never met in real life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for any mistakes.   
> Please, tell me things!

Saturdays were usually lonely for Clarke. Octavia had soccer practice, sometimes games and Raven had physical therapy all afternoon. She was done studying for the day, she hates the silence that their house gets when her roommates are gone. She hates being alone. Her inspiration was gone, she couldn’t draw a line. Netflix wasn’t helping today either. She just sat looking at her laptop screen, then the little icon on the GROUNDERS game caught her eye. The few nights before she had been playing with her friends and Octavia was right… She’s really bad at playing computer games. She used to play Wii and PlayStation with Octavia’s brother, Bellamy when they all hang out together, but this was different. This was hard, too much coordination on eyes, fingers and concentration. She was awful and Octavia was always screaming at her. Octavia has always been a sore loser. Raven wasn’t much help either, pointing all the wrong things she was doing and not telling her how to fix that. The Commander was silent most of the games, just a few neutral words and sometimes easing Octavia’s rage. However, they had fun and as stubborn as Clarke could get, she told herself she would master the minimal abilities required to play that game. With that in mind, she clicked the icon, loading the game.

The game itself had some offline tutorials so she didn’t had to play online with other people, they can be a little nasty when you are a noob. She didn’t know which character to choose, so she scrolled down until she found a cute character in a cute outfit that she liked. She started playing, following the tutorial’s tips. It didn’t do much. She continued dying. Again and again and again. She was about to give up when a pop up window appeared in the right down corner of her screen. It read: **You have a new message**. She clicked and it lead her to private chat with the commander.

CommanderTrikru:

_Are you gaming alone?_

SkyPrincess:

_Trying to learn something…_

_Not easy._

CommanderTrikru:

_Want some help? I can play with you_

Clarke thought about it for a second. The girl was nice but her mother always told her not to speak with strangers, even on the internet. Those were the dangerous ones. She didn’t want to give the girl her personal email, she knew Octavia and Raven use different emails for gaming so they can protect their identity. Maybe she should had thought about it before. She didn’t knew what to answer the girl, she didn’t knew nothing about her.

SkyPrincess:

_Let me call you from O’s computer, okay?_

_CommanderTrikru:_

_Yes._

Clarke turned on Octavia’s laptop and heard the unmistakable Skype sound coming on the speakers. She looked for the Commander’s name and of course the girl had a strange email as well as her friends. She knew Octavia’s was _ohthatsapieceofcake@gmail.com_ and it was funny because it begin with her first letter and ended with cake that rhymed with Blake. It was funny and a pun. She called the waiting girl who answered it seconds later.

“Hi! Just wait a minute so I can login here, please. Do you think it is okay that I use O’s gaming mouse?”

She heard a chuckle on the other side, while she adjusted herself to the headset on Octavia’s laptop. O was going to kill her if she found out, but Octavia was serious when it came to purchasing some gaming equipment and Clarke’s laptop was only used to watch Netflix and doing some homework.

_“I think she’ll be okay as long as you don’t break it.”_

The commander’s voice was sweet and assuring. Clarke felt warm hearing her words. She didn’t know nothing about this girl and that was intriguing. It excited her and made her adventures side pop out, like something was itching in her core. She wanted more.

_“Are you ready, yet?”_

Again that voice broke her out of her day dreaming.

“Yes, now tell me about this game”

_“I hear O telling this is the first time you play a MOBA game. So I’m starting with the basic, ok?”_

Clarke’s head was already spinning.

“Please, start by explaining what is MOBA, I thought the game was called Grounders…”

Again the sweet and melodious chuckle rang at her ears.

_“Please stop me, when you don’t understand something. MOBA game is a Multiplayer Online Battle Arena, where you battle five against five in a kind of map. The players choose their characters with specific functions so that together they can defeat the enemy’s base. To get to the enemy’s base you have 3 lanes that have 3 towers and a super tower each. In this game you have 3 mountain men as the towers and the ice queen as the super tower. Then you get to their base, their city of light, defeating the ALIE on the enemy base, you win the game”_

Clarke was already too engaged with the girl’s explanation. Her voice became more excited as she progressed. Clarke could picture the girl’s eyes lighting up as she speaks of something she likes.

“And this small individuals always running in groups around in the map?”

Clarke swear she could hear the girl sifting in her chair and coming closer as she grew more enthusiastic.

_“Those are minions. The blue ones are on your side and help you, the red ones can hit you and so you need to kill them. I think it’s better if you start with a tank character. Normally they can take a lot of damage and don’t die easily, so you can spend more time learning how to play and not waiting for respawn. I always play with a carry character, meaning that I make a lot of damage to the other team, but I die easily, so I need a tank with me to protect me. O normally plays the ganker, running around the map helping everyone. Rae’s the mage one, she also makes damage to the other team with magical attacks and she can make them stun. I always prefer a healer on my team as well because it can help me and Rae. Maybe we can play the tutorials together so that I can help with any trouble that arise during the match? We can play with bots against bots. Oh, this means it’s just you and I and the other characters are just computers. What do you think?_

Clarke accepted and they played together for hours. The Commander was kind and helped Clarke without question, giving her tips on what to do and how. Her voice was always silvery and made Clarke relax during the game.

“Can you tell me something about yourself?”

_“Why do you wanna know something about me?”_  The Commander was surprised and Clarke bit her lower lip, maybe she crossed a line. She shrugged, even if the other girl couldn’t see her.

“So I can picture you when we are talking. Don’t worry, I know how secretive you gamers are, I won’t ask your name if you don’t want to give it to me, so can you tell me your eye’s color?”

There was a long pause. Maybe the commander wasn’t going to answer.

“Green”

The word come out dry and husky. Clarke grin grew wider.

“That’s a start. Hair color?”

_“Brown?”_

“Was that a question? You don’t know your hair color?” Clarke laugh lighter. Placing a hand on her chin, she thought. “Green eyes and brown hair, huh? I’ll picture you like Lucy Hale.”

_“What?”_  The voice on the other side was displeasured. Clarke’s cheeks were hurting, her smile couldn’t possible grew wider.

“I love Pretty Little Liars and Lucy is a hot chick…”

_“I’m way hotter! “_ The commander didn’t give her time to continue, she was horrified with the comparison.

“Maybe, maybe not. You can be like those gamer girls who can like to play in their bras and turn on those gamer boys or you can be a pretty nerd who hides behind her glasses, I’ll never know, so Lucy Hale it is!”

_“You are so terribly wrong, Princess. Boys aren’t my thing and I only wear glasses when my eyes are dry, so puff goes your theory.”_

Clarke stunned, mouth opened. The way the commander called her princess made her heart skipped a beat. It was fresh and sent a shiver through her body. Raven and Octavia call her princess, it has been her nickname since she was a child, it started with her dad and she was always very fond of it. Finn had called her that, but it never sounded good coming from his lips, but the way the commander prolonged that r, made Clarke shivered.

She was still dreaming when her roommates entered the apartment, loudly and laughing, making her jump on her chair.

Octavia stopped by the doorframe that separated the kitchen from the living room.

“What are you doing on my laptop?”

Clarke felt like a child who was caught eating candy before dinner. She lifted her shoulders, taking off the headset and smiling apologetic to her friend, who was already accompanied by Raven.

“Playing with the commander, she’s a patience teacher, unlike you two.”

Raven close the distance between them and Clarke, looking the blonde in the eyes and crossing her arms, judgmentally, across her chest, her hip bouncing nonchalantly to the side.

“Are you telling me, you spent an entire afternoon playing games, when you so occasionally tell us” Raven pointed her finger between Octavia and herself “that it’s a waste of time? How could you?”

Raven expression was a mist of indignation and anger but in the end she smiled. That huge smile, that typically smile Clarke knew so well and ruffle Clarke’s hair. “Let’s play one before dinner, I want to see what the commander taught you!”

Raven raced to her chair and started turning on her laptop. Octavia approach Clarke and the blonde moved, letting her friend regain control of her laptop. After they were all set, Clarke was determined to show her friends she improved.

The game started, Clarke as a tank, following the commander orders and making a few moves of her own. She was feeling cocky. Raven and Octavia were silence and she could she some approval nods from her friends.

The commander and her had ambushed a player in their enemy base and were about to kick his ass and defeating the ALIE on their base, when they were attacked by other player.

“Commander, get out of here, I can take their hits and you are lower in life!”

Clarke screamed to the computer, but the commander didn’t move.

_“Princess, whatever you do, don’t stop hitting them, don’t worry about me! O, move your ass here!”_

The commander’s voice was in game mood as she was always when playing. Clarke saw Octavia’s character, or champion as they called it, move in the map, but it was too late. It all happened so fast.

**An allied has been slain**

**An enemy has been slain**

**You slain an enemy**

Then the ALIE fell and the victory sign appeared on their screens. The game chat with the 10 players’ kills, assists and deaths followed, with the game chat below. Clarke was speechless. Her hand was shaking, Raven and Octavia’s eyes were wide opened. She couldn’t focus, until a voice came through her speakers.

_“Congratulations, Princess, you just had your first kill! I’m proud of you!”_

The commander’s voice was soft and gentle. She wasn’t upset Clarke didn’t protect her champion.

“You died.”

The soft and cute chuckle Clarke had been used to hear all afternoon was making its appearance again.

_“Yes, but we won!”_

Clarke noticed the game chat, the player that killed the commander was talking trash, feeling great for killing her. The Commander was on her 87 game without any death. Clarke felt guilty and her throat tightened.

“I… I…” Clarke couldn’t speak. She excused herself and went to the kitchen.

After some time, Raven and Octavia joined her.

“That was some game…” Octavia broke the silence, reaching on the counter for plates and starting to settle the table, while Raven and Clarke seasoned some steaks.

“I broke her record…” Clarke felt awful, devastated and guilty, her head low and shaking with disbelieve.

“Clarke, it’s just a game.” Raven landed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “She was the one who sacrificed herself, she could easy get out of there.”

Clarke stopped and looked at Raven, before facing Octavia.

“Would you sacrificed yourself so I could get my first kill? Speak the truth, Octavia.”

Octavia blush, looking down and then away.

“No”

Clarke shrug. “See?” she pointed out to Raven. “The commander is competitive and she hates loosing and I made her loose.”

Octavia and Raven were used to Clarke being sentimental about small things. They ate in silence, playfully touching Clarke in a way or another. When Rae almost fell from her chair because she lost her balance trying to kick Clarke’s feet, all three girls busted out laughing. After dinner, they sat on the couch, watching some movie.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa was about to turn her computer off when she heard the familiar _you have a new message_ sound from the Grounders’ game. She opened it. It was from Sky Princess.

SkyPrincess:

You didn’t have to do that… Your score…

 

Lexa smiled, she didn’t care about winning or losing when it came to play with this girl. All afternoon Lexa was on edge hearing that voice murmuring on her ears. She was funny and smart, she could take information from Lexa without even trying and Lexa felt like she was being played, in a good way. Maybe the girl was studying to be a lawyer too and now, all this concern about Lexa’s reputation made her melt. She was smiling like a fool while typing on her computer.

CommanderTrikru:

Sometimes, you have to concede a battle to win a war. I don’t care about the score, you had your first kill, you improved. That was all worthy.

By the way, you know my eyes are green and my hair brown, I already know you are a blonde, but your eyes are still a mystery to me. If you can picture me as that awful Lucy Hale, I want to picture you as someone as awful as her…

 

SkyPrincess:

Words of a true commander. Were you a roman general in a past live?

Well, well, well, someone is breaking the rules! :p Blue. My eyes are blue.

 

CommanderTrikru:

Maybe… I would love those armors and fighting like a gladiator!

No, not breaking the rules, just making justice. Hmm let me see… I’ll be nice to you. Caity Lotz. I’ll picture you as Caity Lotz!

 

SkyPrincess:

Damn, now I’m picturing Lucy Hale on armor. Thank you, I won’t be sleeping much tonight :p

Caity Lotz, huh? I don’t mind. She was great abs!

 

CommanderTrikru:

You have a dirty mind, Princess! Your friends already warmed me about that and about your screaming in bed.

Yes, she has! Thank you, Arrow, for showing us that goddess.

 

SkyPrincess:

Don’t believe in everything you hear ;) specially if those two are involved.

Look who’s talking! I bet you are going to dream about Lucy and Caity, together, under a tree… :b

 

CommanderTrikru:

You’ll never know :p

 

It was late but Lexa didn’t care, her cheeks hurt but she couldn’t stop smiling. She shouldn’t be doing this, flirting with a girl, online, but she couldn’t resist. Princess made her feel smug and spontaneous, their conversation flowed naturally. It was exciting and scary. The last time she felted this way just for talking with somebody was a long time ago. Could she be falling for a girl behind a computer screen? It was stupid. Love is a pain in the ass. Lexa only heard the girl’s voice. She needed to talk to Anya, this made her smile. Talking to Anya about love is fucked up. Her sister knew less about love than her. Lexa turned her computer off and laid in bed, thinking, she felt like she was in a bad version of the Little Mermaid. She could never made it easy. Went on the street and find a beautiful girl and start dating and kissing her. No, she had to find a girl, online, that made her smile like that. Love, aside being a pain in the ass, is an asshole. Fuck! She threw her pillow across the room, grumbling against the sheets.

 

Their schedule was getting tighter by the day and didn’t leave them much time to play, but Clarke and Lexa continued their conversation, but leaving each other messages on the game chat, whenever they had time.

Clarke was getting really fond of this girl. Smart and sometimes cocky, the Commander always let her with the expectation for something more. Every little thing Clarke discovered about the girl let her on edge to find out more. That feeling in her stomach every time she thought about the girl was getting stronger.

 

* * *

 

Every Friday morning Clarke saw the beautiful girl on Ethical Class and wondered how many buttons up shirts can a person own and look so attractive in everyone one of them. With her hair on a braid, messy bun, ponytail or those beautiful brown curls just laying around, the girl was just breathtaking. Clarke may had find herself sighing for the girl, staring with her head supported by her arm more than she wanted to and hoping nobody else notice it.

When the professor made the class divide in two, defending two sides of a controversial subject, Clarke found herself in the seat below the gorgeous brunette, in the middle of the auditorium, both by the end of their rows, next to the wall. Clarke always loved this seats, she could lean against the wall and observe the entire auditorium. The brunette must think the same, because they were doing the exact same thing. Nobody seated on their rows, but the rows down were almost full.

“Do you think we stink? I swear I took a bath this morning!” Clarke mentally slap herself. Great way to break the ice. She looked upon the girl, who smile to her. Clarke could smell her perfume just like the first time she laid eyes on this girl. It was a mist of sweetness and something spicy, it reminded her of a patisserie.

When the class started discussing, Clarke opened her laptop and saw that commander had left her a message last night, talking about her own classes and hoping Clarke’s were okay and then the most beautiful sentence Clarke ever read. _I wish I could kiss you goodnight…_

She felt a strange tug in her chest. It made her heart melt and smile. A wave of tenderness filled her. The Commander was so sweet, so good with words. Always so comprehensive, Clarke felt like she could tell the world to this girl and she loved the way they would tease each other. There was growing attraction, well maybe not physical since they never saw one another, but intellectual attraction maybe. God damn you, Clarke Griffin, you could never make it easier. Her answer was simple. She closed her laptop, Octavia was right, the game would heat up her old laptop if she had it opened for too long. When the teacher dismissed the class, the girl stood up while Clarke was putting her stuff away.

“See you next week.”

The girl didn’t wait for Clarke to reply and continued walking. When she was almost by the middle of the row, Clarke was able to make her brain work and formulate an answer.

“Bye”

She wasn’t sure if the girl heard her, but the brunette turned her head and smile cordially in response.

Damn, even the low hoarse voice of this girl is appealing.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa arrived home and went straight to her room, turned on her computer and waited until de Grounders game loaded. She checked her inbox and there it was, she _You Have a New Message_ sign. She opened, it was simple but it meant more than it should. _I wish you could kiss me good-morning…_ SkyPrincess would be the death of CommanderTrikru and they both knew it. Fuck. Lexa needed Anya, this situation was driving her mad. She took a bus to downtown and rushed through the police station. She found her sister at her desk, eyeing her with curiosity.

“Lexa, is everything okay?”

Lexa was shaking, her hands buried at her jacket pockets. Her eyes darkened by the confusion on her head.

“I need to talk to you.” She looked around, trying not to sound as desperate as her voice betrayed her. “Like, now, please.”

Lexa was the definition of contained. Anya saw the girl brake her arm, falling from a tree, standing up and asking their foster mom to take her to the hospital, without crying once. When the news of their mother’s death was delivered, Anya cried a little, Lexa stood still, hugging Anya without saying a word. Anya saw her sister crumble to emotion only twice. The day they were separated on foster care and the day Lexa found out her girlfriend was cheating on her. Now, her sister stood there, face fill with too many emotions for Anya to determine. She looked at Lincoln who had the same worried stamped on his face as her. He knew the girls since he and Anya were on police academy.

“Go, I’ll cover you.”

Anya rose from her chair and made Lexa follow her to the training room. Anya wasn’t too good with words. Yes, their little family was dysfunctional. Lexa rarely showed emotion and Anya hid her true feelings behind sarcasm, yet they seemed to function pretty well, because if they could be proud of something is that they didn’t need to talk to know that they loved each other and would die for each other. Simple as that. She knew the best way for Lexa to have her mind clean again was to let out some steam. Anya didn’t spoke, she just toss her sister some hand wraps while putting some punching mitts on her hands. Lexa started punching, hard.

“I taught you to fight so you would stand up against bullies, please don’t make me regret that!” Anya shout, taking a step back, Lexa lifted her hands apologetic. “Talk to me, sis…”

Lexa draw a combination of punches and kicks, making Anya act fast and walking backwards. The last kick was so strong, Anya hitch at the pain in her hand and Lexa stopped, eyes almost in tears.

“I fucked up Anya, I let my walls down and now I’m starting to fell things for this girl that plays games with me. How stupid can one person be? I never saw the girl, yet I dream about her voice and imagine a blonde in my bed, kissing me, making me the happiest woman on earth. Fuck this. Love is for the weak of mind. It’s supposed to be just you and me, growing old and cranky together, with a cat or a dog.”

Lexa sat down on the floor, head between her knees. Anya joined her, locking her little sister’s head on a head lock and kissing the top of her hair. When Anya released the lock and let her arm rest on Lexa’s shoulder, the young girl buried her head on her sister’s neck. Anya laughed.

“You know it’s fucked up to come to talk to me about love, since I’ve been single most of my life, but I’ll give you two advices. One as your sister and one as your best friend, ok?”

Lexa nodded on the embrace.

 “First, I know you. The thing about you, Lexa, is that when you feel some sort of connection with someone, you fall badly. Example number one: online girl you never met. If you want to purchase this for something more, I’ll always have your back. Please try not to be catfished and end up on a gutter. This is my sisterly advice. As your best friend, that’s just sexual tension building up. Go have one night stand or touch yourself at night. If you still think about the girl, in the end, just hit repeat.”

 Lexa laughed in her sister embrace. This is so Anya.

“I told her that I wish I could to kiss her goodnight and she told me she wish I could kiss her good morning…”

Anya slapped Lexa on the back of the head.  

“What the hell, Anya?”

“As your big sister and legal guardian I am right now forbidding you to play that game. I knew you would screw up. Damn it, Lexa, I am working my ass struggling two jobs so you can study to became a powerful lawyer. If you are going to fall for girls with pretty voices and get distracted, I’ll quit my job at the bar and you’ll have to figure it out yourself. You have the brains in the family, use them. You always told me you wanted to become a lawyer so you could prevent what happened to us to happen to other kids. I don’t want to pick the pieces of your broken heart again. Don’t fall for girls that you don’t know if they are available. For all you know that girl could live in the other side of the country! Please, after what you had been through, pick a girl that you can touch, see and later kiss. Take her to a movie, kiss her behind the bleachers, whatever. Just be normal for a change.”

Those words cut Lexa more than they should. She looked to Anya, half unamused and half hurt, but she knew Anya was right.

“You know I am 22, right? But yes, you are right. I’ll step away from the game until my head is back in place. I can’t have any more breakdowns, specially involving your place of work. I’m sorry, Anya.”

“That’s all right, champ. I have to go, met me at the bar, tonight, let’s make Friday nights a sisterly bond’s night.”

Anya ruffled Lexa’s hair, getting up and extending an arm to help her sister from the ground. They walked to Anya’s desk, smiling and hitting each other with their shoulders.

Later that day, Lexa sat at the computer, thinking about what she would say to the girl. The truth was always the better way. Well, in this case, a half-truth, maybe a white lie?

 

Commander Trikru:

I’m sorry but I’ll have to give up playing for a while, I need to focus on my academics and my sister wants some sisterly time. I’m sorry. I hope to talk to you soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm so sorry, this chapter was suposed to be longer and they will eventually learn each other identity, but my last exame was today and I have a plane to catch in a few hours. I didn't want to leave you guys hanging (Let's hope some of you are). I wanted to upload every Thursday, but I'll be traveling for the next 4 weeks and I don't know if I'll have internet access. Nevertheless, I'll be writting the story on paper and later i'll try to add more chapters.   
> If you want to bug me (Please do it) i'm at [http://categolden.tumblr.com/](url)


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke read the message repeatedly for almost half an hour before realizing the truth: the Commander freaked out about their last innocent flirting and it's now running for her life. Clarke always did this, scarring the girls and boys away. Yes, she was known for flirting with everybody, but she was starting to enjoy this daily dose of cuteness and innocent flirting and teasing. That's what the internet is for. Octavia and Raven will probably kill her, they became good cyber friends with the Commander and their little team was starting to get notice on the blogs about the GROUNDERS. Clarke always destroys the good things around her. Nothing ever good comes for her. Her father's death, the art school scholarship, her relationship with her mother, Raven and Finn and now the person was starting to open up to... She doesn't deserve to be happy. She closed her laptop. Fuck this, fuck the commander, and fuck the world.

"Hey Blondie, what's up?" Raven entered the apartment, grabbed an apple from the counter in the kitchen and seated next to Clarke on the couch. She putted her feet on the coffee table, but Clarke moved them away, rolling her eyes.

"The Commander just did a hit and run..." Clarke shrugged and buried her face on Raven's shoulder.

"Damn, she was fun. Hey, don't blame yourself, if she can't handle the awesomeness that it's Clarke Griffin, she isn’t worth a single tear." Raven putted her arm around Clarke and brought her close. "You knew you couldn't pursue this romance, Clarke..."

"I know, Raven, but I was starting to like the attention and teasing from a stranger... But yeah, I wasn't going to marry the girl, maybe just sexting."

Raven throw her head back, laughing.

"You need to get laid, Griffin."

"Tell me about it!"

         

* * *

 

Another Friday morning, another ethical class. Clarke seated herself in the same spot as last week and the beautiful brunette did the same. Before seating she said hi to Clarke, who was barely awake, but nodded acknowledging the greeting.

The class started, they were talking about euthanasia and Clarke hated the subject, so she putted out her sketch book and thought about finishing the draw of Octavia's gaming pose and hoped the professor didn't asked her questions.

After a while she was brought back from her drawing place as a heated discussion between the brunette and a blonde from the other side of the room started to get loud. She saw the brunette speak with her hands, presenting her point of view. While she waited for the other girl's answer, she knocked her fingers rhythmically against the wood desk, first her little finger, them the ring finger, the middle finger and at last the index, then started again. The corner of her lips curved a little when she trapped the other girl. The brunette finally gave her last argument using the other girl's words against her, the blonde looked to the floor ashamed as her faced turned red as a tomato and the brunette leaned back against the wall, with a huge smirk on her face and Clarke wanted to get up and kissed it off the brunette's face.

"I thought you were going to make her pee herself in fear..." Clarke said nonchalant, without turning her face from the sketch book.

The brunette leaned close to Clarke, with an even bigger smirk.

"Mockery it's not the work of a strong mind."

"Wow, she has a way with words! Hmm, writer or lawyer?

Can that smirk grew bigger?

"Lawyer"

"Hmm, thought so."

Trying to ignore the beautiful brunette leaning too close to Clarke's personal space has proven to be more difficult than passing her medical classes. She did her best and after a while the girl shifted back on the chair. Clarke continued to draw, making Octavia's black hair bright with blue lights, the girl's small ears covered by those massive headphones. More discussions erupted in the class, but the brunette kept to herself, playing with her pen on the table.

By the end of class, the professor told them they need to do a project, in pairs and present it to the class by the end of the semester.

Before the fear of rejection and loneliness hit her, the brunette spoked so quickly, Clarke had to look at those beautiful lips again so she could understand at least the last part.

"I'm sorry, what?"

She smiled, the girl looked embarrassed while looking hopeful to Clarke with those beautiful green eyes contoured with perfect eyeliner.

"Will you be my partner, for the project?"

Clarke smiled bigger, she wasn't the only one who hadn't make friends.

"Yes, of course, you are the only one who acknowledges my existence in this class, so..." Clarke shrugged, packing her stuff and trying not to look as excited as she felt. The brunette smiled, that pretty and cocky smile! Clarke prepared herself to leave, but the girl caught her wrist so gently that Clarke almost melted in place.

"Maybe you should tell me your name, so I can tell you mine and then we exchange phone numbers so than we can set a date to make the project, how about that?"

Clarke places her free hand on her hip, rising an eyebrow.

"Always this smooth with getting a girl's name, phone number and look, even a date! That was fast!"

The girl chucked, her shoulders moving with the rhythm of the chuckle. She rolled her eyes to Clarke and that awful yet irresistible smirk continued to drive Clarke crazy. They still haven't let go of their embrace.

"Only with future work partners. My name is Lexa Woods." The girl, Lexa, slid her fingers through Clarke's hand, transforming her previous grip on a handshake. Clarke stood there, looking at their hands, trying to understand how in hell the girl did that and how beautiful and smooth her long hands were.

"Clarke... Clarke Griffin.” her stumbling words and uncoordinated handshake were just a perfectly description of herself. On the contrary, the girl in front of her is sure of herself, like every move she makes was previous calculated.

"Now we are getting somewhere. If you could be a dear and give me your phone so I can add my number as you do the same on mine that would be awesome!"

Clarke was starting to get really annoyed with that smirk.

"One day, I'll get that precious smirk out of your face!" With a kiss. The last part Clarke didn't say out loud. Her face fell when their grip broke and the girl handed her the cellphone.

It can grew bigger! Lexa's smirk was lighting the room.

"Maybe one day, I'll let you!"

Maybe it was a promised, maybe not but it made Clarke's blood boil.

After numbers exchanged, the girls decided to meet Monday after school on the library. It was a date, a study date. Clarke's hands were still shaking all the way to her apartment.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa smile still hadn't fade. Today started out so good. This last week hanging out with Anya and Lincoln had proven to light up her mood. Lincoln would run every morning with her before his shift with Anya, Lexa would go to her classes, after finishing her study for the day she will make dinner and then, depending on Anya's schedule at the bar, Lexa would go with her or they would enjoy watching some tv together, before going to bed and repeating it all the next day. But today... First she won her final sprint to Lincoln, then kicked ass on Ethical Class and when she thought her day was going to suck because she didn't know anyone to partner up in the class project and would be obliged to make friends, the cute blonde on the row below was innocent enough to fall for Lexa's puppy's eyes. She had notice the girl on the first day of class. She had a diamond shaped face, with defined cheekbones and a adorable cleft chin. Lexa always loved cleft chins. Beautiful blue orbits on thin almond eyes, contoured by curved blonde eyebrows that danced at every expression of the girl. Her small redefined cute nose, just a little perky adorned her face, along with a pair of lips always so reddish, maybe because the girl was always biting them. Lexa notice that the blonde bit the lower lip when she concentrated on something, specially her drawings or taking notes in class and she bit her thin upper lip when thinking hard, maybe in that moment people skip reality and go to their place of refuge. Her blonde hair was cut at chin level at front and a little longer that shoulder length at the back and she was always blowing the straws that go in the way of her eyes or making a messy bun that sometimes didn't tamed her hair. Lexa remembered that one time the blonde made a small side braid and it looked adorable. She was not very tall, shorter than Lexa maybe by a few inches and had all the right curves on her body. Yes, Lexa had notice the big and round breasts, especially in the last weeks, when the girl's cleavage was on display for Lexa to see from her seat on the upper row. She tried very hard not to look, but failed terribly. The blonde was gorgeous. Small and chubby fingers that worked nonstop on the classes. She usually dressed in tops or t-shirts and jeans. She didn't engage in class if something wasn't directed to her. She liked to lay low. Sometimes she made smart comments only Lexa could hear and Lexa smiled. She had a sarcastic yet intelligent humor and now Lexa knew she was flirtatious. She looked at her with her hand on her hip and that defiant and devilish look, making Lexa presumptuous. That day was getting better and better. Lexa didn't recognize herself or knew where all that courage and flirting came from, she is always so contained with her feelings and actions, but today, all of that was spontaneous. She didn't remember being like that. She never had problems getting girls, she knew how to be courteous and how and when to make the right moves. Her looks helped and she learned so much watching Anya. Anya was the true Casanova. The Woods sisters were known for their beauty and for making girls weak at their knees. Although Lexa stopped being like that for a while now. She returned to her old self, the girl that studied every event that could possibly occur if she took a step in the street. She needed control in her life, if Lexa lose control of herself, bad things happen.

She read for a bit while at home and then went to the bar, where her sister worked. She would seat at the counter, Anya would greet her with a tender kiss on her cheek or maybe her forehead and server her a drink that Lexa never tasted before. That was their routine.

"This tastes awful, Anya!" Lexa frowned her forehead, eyes squinting and her tongue cleaning the rest of the drink from her lips before swallowing dry, trying to remove the bad taste from her mouth. She leaned back on the stool and pushed the drink away, like it was going to make her sick. Anya took the glass away from her, laughing and cleaning the counter with a cloth.

"I'm trying to educate you about drinks, stop being a baby. I swear if I have to make you another of those cocktails with pretty umbrellas I'm going to disown you."

"Hey, I like wine!"

Lexa's tries to reason with her sister were in vain. Anya tilted her head to the side, her lips on a fine line as she handled Lexa a yellow cocktail with too much crushed ice and a straw. At least it had some rum.

"I would like very much to know where is that badass kid who liked to wear black and chains in her pockets while listening to Avril Lavigne and using so much of my eyeliner that it made her look like a raccoon. That kid would drink scotch with me, not fruity cocktails."

Anya toss her wet cloth at Lexa who caught it and returning it slowly. She didn't remember much from her childhood, but she remembers Anya always been there, picking her up when she fell, battling her battles with her, tendering her wounds. They were only six years apart, but Anya was the mother figure in Lexa's life.

Lexa mixed her drink with the straw, while watching her sister work. Lincoln would be there any minute now.

"Hi! That's a cool tattoo!"

Lexa turned her attention from her drink to a guy with a flirtatious smile that laid back on the counter next to her. Lexa rolled her eyes before looking for Anya for help but her sister was busy. Lexa looked at the boy, oblivious he thought his smile would make her feel something. Typical frat boy. Lexa nodded and returned to her drink. The boy got closer to her, her body stirred in response.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

He was stubborn. Lexa lifted her glass, making it obvious she didn't need another drink. He started talking but Lexa's mind wasn’t processing, she looked out for Anya in desperation. She was starting to lose control of herself, if the guy stepped closer, Lexa would burst out.

"I think you've entertained my girlfriend long enough." She hear the familiar voice as a calming hand landed on her back. She smiled looking up to Lincoln who kissed the side of her forehead, never breaking the eye contact with the frat boy, who stared at Lincoln, eyes wide open with fear and surprise. He was half Lincoln’ size and Lincoln was an intimidating guy. Lexa picked her drink, mixing it with the straw, while smiling like a crazy person. She loved putting smarted asses on their place. The guy raised his hands on defeat and walked away. Lincoln sat down on the stool next to Lexa, who was looking at him with a proud smirk, bending down on the counter while mixing her drink.

"Five minutes and you would be kicking his ass and making a mess for you sister to clean, Am I right?"

Lexa drank from the straw, looking up and right, avoiding his eyes and shrugging. Lincoln smiled and pushed Lexa on the stool, making her lose her balance a little.

"What did I miss?"

"Now you are here! Where were you when I needed your help?"

Those words putted Anya in protective mode. Her eyes opened as she straight up, looking around the bar for what could had happened.

"Easy, Anya, it was just some kid trying his luck with beautiful Lexa over here. Don't worry, I handled it!"

Lincoln smiled and placed a hand on Lexa's knee, lifting his eyebrows at their inside joke. Lexa smiled wider.

"The best way possible! Man, Lincoln, I feel sorry for the guy who hits on your real girlfriend!"

Lexa laughed, drinking from the straw, her cheeks a little flushed and eyes wondering around. Anya relaxed and placed her hand on Lexa's, gently.

"No more drinks to you, miss!"

"Oh, but I like the little sombreros!" Lexa pounded, big puppy eyes, trembling lower lip and everything. Anya growled as she rolled her eyes and shook her head to her sister’s antics.

"I won't take long now, we-" Anya gestured toward Lincoln and herself "have to babysit the girls’ soccer game on your college tomorrow and we need to be there long before the bus with the other team arrives. I have to sleep a good night."

Lexa straight up on the stool, surprised. Anya didn't tell her about this.

"I could tag along with you, guys. If you guys don’t mind..."

She was sick of spending her free time studying and reading, she needed to get out more. She was known her all life for being a lonely wolf, but she really wasn’t. She did enjoy her occasional loneliness but she liked to think she was still looking for a pack to fit in. Anya and Lincoln are her crew, she enjoys their company, but they are always so busy. She missed her game team, particularly SkyPrincess and she knew the craving to send her something would be too much if she was all afternoon, alone at home. Lexa’s mind was blurry, maybe it was the drinks and when she got home, she dreamt about blonde hair and blue eyes.

 

* * *

 

Clarke waited by their apartment door. Octavia had an important game this night and Clarke and Raven promised to be there to back her up. She was surprised when Raven exited her room with her crutches instead of her brace. Clarke crooked her head.

"The brace wasn't taking it easy on me today." Even after the accident and through all the pain, Raven was always smiling, never giving up and cracking jokes about it.

"Are you sure you want to go? If you are in pain, Octavia will understand, she prefers you safe and pain free than going to a crowded place where people can knock you down."

"Puff, you worry to much, mom! I'm fine, let's go, you drive!"

Raven rushed through Clarke, taking the stair to their car on the garage. They made their way through the crown, both wearing the team's jersey with Octavia's name and number on the back and sit on the first row of the bleachers, middle field, right behind their team's bench. Octavia was warming up and looked at them with a big smile on her face.

Although Clarke had known Octavia all her life and the girl had always showed skills with her feet and a ball, Clarke only knew the basic rules of the game, so watching this game was really boring for her. She mentioned to Raven that she would go buy them some drinks, which the other girl just hushed away with her hand, never taking her eyes from the game and Octavia's figure. Raven didn't like to admit, but she hated watching Octavia play because they saw the girl getting hit and knocked down a lot of times. They should be used to see her friend get hit on her ankles with cleats full with studs, but it was never easy to see a part of your family hurt.

Clarke bought two beers and was making her way to Raven's side when she noticed a familiar figure stand next to two officers, talking to them while watching the game. She questioned herself if she should talk to the girl or not, but in the end her spontaneous side choose for her. She approached the girl.

"Hey!"

Lexa turned surprised but eased when she saw a familiar face.

"Hello, Clarke."

Clarke shivered when she hear her name on Lexa's lips, the way she pronounced the r. She looked at the girl’s eyes, Lexa was different. She stood even more upright than she would normally be. Her hands were crossed against her chest and there was something in her eyes. Fear? Maybe it was. Clarke stood close to the girl.

"Are you alright?"

Lexa lean closer to Clarke, the chants were getting a little too loud for her. She squinted her eyes in confusion and pain. It was getting really loud. Before she could answer Clarke's question, Anya placed a hand on her shoulder, pointing to the parking lot. Lexa eyed thankfully at her sister and nodded. She looked at Clarke and made a gesture with her hand for the girl to take the lead out of there.

Clarke acknowledge the two beers in her hands, thinking about if she should go or not, but the painful look on Lexa's face made her worried, so she opened the way through the crown to the parking lot. When they arrived, Lexa breathed out in relieved. She looked at Clarke and was touched by the evident worry on the blonde's face.

"Sorry about that, it was getting a little loud to me..."

Clarke stepped close to look on the brunette's eyes.

"Is it better now?"

Lexa nodded affirmatively and looked down, a little embarrassed. When she notice the two cups on Clarke's hands, she cursed herself. Two glasses. She was with someone. Her cheeks started to heat up.

"Sorry I dragged you here, you have someone waiting for you..."

Clarke looked surprised. Lexa was extremely cute when she was embarrassed. The blonde smiled tenderly.

“Don't worry, my friend won't notice I'm gone until the break, when she'll remember that I came to the game with her."

Lexa tucked her hands on her pockets and kicked something on the ground next to her.

"If she doesn't notice you are gone, why did you come with her?"

Clarke's eyes lighted up with enthusiasm. She quickly turned her back to Lexa and pointed the best she could, with the beers in her hands, to her jersey.

"Our roommate is one of the players. We got to cheer for her!"

Lexa read the jersey: Blake, 21. She relaxed a bit. So she was here with her roommates.

"So, who is the hot cop?"

Clarke tried to break the ice, Lexa was obviously in distress, and she never saw the brunette like this. The comment made Lexa smile proudly.

"Careful, that's my sister you are talking about."

Clarke's mouth fell. Damn, those are some good genes. Lexa's sister was as beautiful, even in that blue uniform and hair locked on a braid. She was taller and leaner than Lexa. Clarke had notice the other cop, tall and muscular and decided to play with Lexa.

"Your sister really looks like a hot and strong muscular man!"

Lexa frown and looked at her sister. She sight in disappointment, of course a girl like Clarke would be straight and Lincoln would be the one that caught her eye. She glare back at Clarke and found the blonde with a gleam of deviltry. Lexa furrow harder.

"Nice, you caught me."

"Told you I would rip that smirk of your face, it was easier than I thought." Clarke stepped closer to Lexa and elbowed her side, playfully. Lexa smiled and relaxed. Clarke offered her one of the cups and Lexa reluctance accepted.

"Not a fan of beer?" Clarke asked before drinking a bit if her drink while Lexa looked at the content of the cup.

"No, that's not it, I..."

Clarke could see the battle in her face. Green eyes never left the drink, like it was poisonous. She took the cup back gently, the other girl didn't protest.

"I see, you don't want to ruin your diet, I get that."

 

Lexa saw Clarke's bite her tongue playfully and mentally thanked the girl for not waiting for Lexa's explanation. They stare at each other for a while, it wasn't awkward, they both had tenderness in their eyes. Those who were looking at them now would think they were crazy, alone in the parking lot, staring at each other. A loud noise from the bleachers broke their gaze.

Lexa apprehension's look was back on her face. Her hands around herself again. Clarke didn't think twice. She placed the beers in the sidewalk next to them and walked back to Lexa. Without thinking too much, she grabbed one of the girl's hands and dragged her along.

Lexa froze for a few seconds, looking as they hold hands. Obviously their fingers weren't entwined, but it's has been a while since her hand was touched so gently by someone. Her hands whose were often covered by bruises and cuts were now hold by the most delicate fingers and Lexa almost stumbled before following the girl into the unknown. Well, if she was about to be murdered, at least it would be by the hands of a pretty girl.

Clarke let go of her hand and Lexa almost let out a disappointing noise, but held it back on her throat. She didn't want the disappointment on her face to show, so she tugged her hands pack on her pockets and observed the blonde.

Clarke took her car keys and unlocked the minivan in front of them. Lexa jumped at the sound and the blonde squint her an apologetic look. Clarke opened the passenger door for the other girl to climb in and walked around the front of the car, climbing to the driver seat.

"Quiet here, right?"

Lexa nodded in appreciation of Clarke's action and relaxed against the seat. She noticed how far away from the dashboard the seat was.

"Who usually rides in here, has huge legs," joking she stared at Clarke and saw the muscles on the blonde's face tightened. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No, no. It's just... My friend, she has a bad leg and likes to keep it stretched..."

Lexa felt her cheeks grow red, she stared at the sad look on Clarke's face and reached for her arm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Clarke smiled sadly. "Don't worry, we get more upset about it than she does, if she was here, she would crack a joke about it"

The blonde's smile was back in her face and Lexa thought it was the most captivating thing she has ever seen. The rush to touch the blonde's face was burning in Lexa's fingertips. She restrained herself back.

"If you're hungry, there are some snacks under your seat. We keep this car full on snacks, my roommates have no limits on their appetite."

"Thanks, Clarke, for everything."

Clarke eyes locked on Lexa's. The girl was lazily leaning against the seat, her side turned to Clarke. Her arms rested on her lap and she had a content gaze on her face. Clarke turned on the radio, the volume really low, not wanting to startle the brunette, who throw her head back, closing her eyes and humming the songs on the radio, her feet slightly tapping along the rhythm. This girl right in front of her had nothing similar to the cocky girl on ethical class. Her clothes, the way she did her hair and her posture were different. The moment Clarke saw the distress on her face she recognized the signs of anxiety. The noise was making Lexa uncomfortable, even if the girl tried to hide it.

After a while the crowd started to disperse, the game had ended. Lexa still had her eyes closed and Clarke didn't want to disturb her, but she was worried about Raven. They usually wait in the bleachers for Octavia to join them after she had shower and changed but with Raven in her crutches she was a little more unprotected and Clarke feared for her. She touched Lexa's knee, the girl looked down to her, eyes greener than ever and Clarke swallowed the lump on her throat. She was always a sucker for girls with pretty eyes.

"I'm sorry, I need to meet with my friends, but you can stay in the car, if you want... Octavia normally takes a bit to shower, but Raven is out there with her crutches and I am afraid someone will knock her down and she won't be able to get up..."

It took a while for Lexa to assimilate the information. She could stay in the car, but she'll be alone and she needed to be with Anya, but the crowd outside was all over the place. She could feel her anxiety to build up again. Clarke leaned close to her and grabbed her hands.

"Hey, I won't let anything happen to you, I'm here for whatever you need. I can text Raven and see if she is okay and stay here with you. Would you want me to do that?"

Lexa shook her head. She breathe in loudly and mentally prepared for facing the crowd. When she opened the door, Clarke was already waiting for her.

"Lexa, look at me, I'll be right next to you. Grab my hand and don't let go, okay? If you feel you are getting trapped, just tell me, okay?"

Lexa was touched by all this kindness. Only her sister had treated her like this, Clarke was stranger, she didn't had to.

"How do you? I... " she couldn't even talk, tears were starting to build up in her eyes, she repressed then back.

"Future doctor, I hope. My mom's one and I have a best friend who suffer a car accident and wasn't able to seat in one for a long time... I know anxiety and fear when I see it. Don't worry, you are safe with me."

She didn't know if it was a doctor side or the connection she felt to the girl, whatever it was, was so strong Clarke felted the need to protect this beautiful girl from any harm. The way she looked upon Clarke, her head low, a mix of embarrassment and fear or the way she bit her pouting lip. It reminded her a little bit of Raven, after the accident. Clarke knew the best way was to act and not let Lexa overthink, she grabbed the girl's hand and guided her through the crowd, placing small circles with her thumb on the back of Lexa's hand.

They arrived to the end of the bleachers, Raven was playing with her phone, bored. She saw the girls from the corner of her eyes and turned to them and smiled when she noticed their hands together.

"Hey Griffin, thought you forgot me, but I guess you find someone more of your likes than me! Good for you!"

Clarke rolled her eyes to Raven's commentary.

"Stop, Raven! This is Lexa, from my Ethical Class. Give me a resume of the game."

Raven's smirk grew wider. So this was the pretty brunette that made Clarke take a little longer getting ready on Friday's mornings. She had to admit, the girl was hot.

"It was a tie. Octavia played well but didn't score and didn't suffer any fault. She's getting ready."

Lexa didn't pay attention to the girls’ conversation, she was distracted by two things: she and Clarke were still holding hands and where the hell was Anya or Lincoln? The crowd was dispersing so the cops should be there. That was where they last saw each other. That was their plan. Always go back to the last place we saw each other, Anya was always telling her that. Always go to the last place we saw each other. Always go to the last place we saw each other. She didn't realize she started shaking until Clarke's free hand touched her arm. The girl was facing her, they were really close.

"Shh... You are safe, it's okay, talk to me, Lexa."

Clarke's calming voice was like an anchor keeping Lexa on the ground. She breathed and closed her eyes. When she felted calmer she was met by the warmest of blue eyes.

"My sister, I can't find my sister..."

Clarke nodded understandingly, the girl next to her picked up her crutches and stood up, looking around.

"What does your sister look like?"

"Hot cop."

Clarke felt Lexa relaxed on her hand.

"Please don't call her that, especially if she's around, I'll never hear the end of it at home..."

Lexa's voice was dragging in her mouth, she was getting tired. Clarke knew this was a bad sign. It's always calm before the storm. She looked at Raven for help.

"Damn, you have a hot sister for a cop? What is it like? Super straight, you can't do nothing wrong? Oh, have you ever used her handcuffs?

Contrary to her normal self, Raven was speaking slowly and tried not to fill the girl with too many questions, but she knew distracting someone who was on the edge of a panic attack was the  easy way to make them focus.

"She's also a bartender, so I get the best of both words."

"Damn, why are we only child's, Clarke? We need a sister like that. Bellamy doesn't count, Octavia is way more badass than him."

"It would be strange for Bellamy to count as a sister, Raven... "

"Yeah, I know, he's a dick."

Lexa was still on edge, but the girls’ conversation was slowly calming her down. However, she was feeling her head heavy. She placed her hand on her temples and closed her eyes. She could feel Clarke's thumb drawing patterns on her hand and she focused on that.

"Alexandria!" She opened her eyes and searched for the origin of the sound. On the edge of the bleacher and climbing to their side was her sister and Lincoln.

"Anya!" What a relief! She loses herself from Clarke's grip and hushed to her sister, who cupped her face.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry, I should had thought about the noise."

"I'm fine, thought I would had to walk home but I'm fine." She joked and Anya smack her upper arm.

"Ass! Where were you?"

Only then, Lexa remembered who she left behind her when she ran to her sister. She looked at the two girls who were observing her with attentive eyes.

"Come." she signal Anya and walked to Clarke. "Anya, this is Clarke, she let me rest on her car and keep me company, while her friend, Raven, was watching the game."

Anya greeted the girls with a little nod and a smirk.

"Thanks for taking care of my little sister."

Lexa was sulking a little bit, that smirk in Anya's face said a lot about how her evening was going to end.

"No problem." Clarke was embarrassed, the woman in front of her was intimidating to say the least.

"What's up, bitches!!!" Octavia, with her black hair wet and sports bag hanging on her shoulder, shouted as she arrived next to her roommates. When she noticed the 3 other people on the small group, she stopped herself, her cheeks turning red.

"Sorry, didn't know we had company…"

"We were leaving... I'll see you Monday." Lexa spoke directly to Clarke and dragged a smirking Anya.

The other cop, who hadn't said a word, followed them, but stop before getting out of reach and looked straight to Octavia.

"Good game!" Then he hushed behind the two sisters.

The three roommates stood there watching them leave. Raven, as always, broke the silence.

"Damn, those are some good genes!"

"Tell me about it."

"Who was that?"

"Hot brunette from my ethical class, her hot cop sister and hot sister's partner."

"Wow, Clarke... I'm not into girls but she has something... And the partner... Just wow for this moment." Octavia was still in awe.

"And you just stared at them for a minute, I've been here watching them for almost ten. You missed the way Clarke held the brunette's hand and smoother her. So romantic...

"Stop, Raven... She was in the edge of having a panic attack, I was trying to comfort her, just like I did it with you." Clarke sighted. It was nothing like it.

"I love you, Clarke and I know you love me as well, but you never hold me that way and she didn't seem to mind. Let me give you an advice, forget the Commander, attack this girl. Go for it, with everything you got."

"I second that!" Octavia and Raven high fived.

"I'm not ready for another relationship... I don't even know if she likes girls... I need time."

"Well, I didn't hear a no, I heard a not now."

"Fuck off!!"

 

Anya smack the back of Lexa's head.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"You are crying on corners for a girl you met online and you have that hot blonde all over heels for you? Damn it, Lexa, when are you going to open your eyes?"

"She's straight, Anya." Lexa's voice was dry.

"Yeah, right. Just test the waters, I'm 85% sure that that's not true. Not everyone I know can handle a possible panic attack, especially yours."

Lexa glower at her sister.

"She was being a good friend, that's all…"

Anya backed down the teasing a little bit and placed a comforting hand on Lexa's shoulder.

"I'm kidding, Lexa. Go easy, love bug."

"I know, I know, stop falling if there isn't a safety net to catch you"

Anya throw her arm around her sister's shoulder and tugged her close, kissing her head, making Lincoln chuckle at their antics.

 

 

* * *

 

           

Monday evening came in a blink of an eye and if Clarke wasn't nervous because she spent all weekend thinking about Lexa and telling herself that they didn't had a moment on the game, as the time passed and their meet up was coming closer, she knew she was just lying to herself. Octavia and Raven try to reason with her. She had been pulled through that girl since the beginning. They knew it was easy to tell your life to someone you didn't know, not being afraid to be judge for the things she did or living with the consequences of opening her heart, but the Commander was an easy way out and now was MIA. Clarke knew online romances were a thing but she didn't see herself leaving all behind to pursue a crazy infatuation. And Lexa... She didn't know the girl that well, but she had realized that Lexa had baggage. After Finn, Clarke didn't trust herself with her feelings or her reading of people. She didn't want to have her heart broken again and the way she felt attracted to Lexa was a bad sign. She needed to have her head on the ground and not dreaming about eyes as green as a forest. Friends. She could be friends with a pretty girl. She knew she could.

She sat on the library with her laptop opened, ready to work. The only thing missing was Lexa. Clarke checked her phone, Lexa was 5 minutes late. In the bottom of her stomach was this fear that Lexa wouldn't come.

"Hey, sorry I'm late."

All Clarke's worries disperse when the brunette seated by her side, placing her messenger bag next to Clarke's laptop. She smiled to Clarke and all her fears dispersed.

"Good to you to finally show up!"

"Don't be mean, I had to cross campus!"

"Really? You don't look like someone who had just run." Clarke looked to the girl, hair in a perfect side braid, black jeans with black oxfords and a light blue shirt.

Lexa leaned close to the blonde.

"Believe me, to meet you, I ran."

Lexa was so close, her breath rested on Clarke's shoulder. This was the cocky girl from class and Clarke felt her heart beating fast. She tried to ignore Lexa's perfume and how close she was, focusing on her laptop but it was really hard.

"So, Miss lawyer, any ideas to our project?"

Lexa sit straight, her face stoic for a moment, cleaning her throat. Clarke observed, confuse, the brunette.

"I would like to discuss the way our government chooses fosters homes, if that's okay with you..."

Clarke felt like this was a personal subject to Lexa, so she nodded, turning her laptop more to Lexa, so the girl took the lead on researching.

Clarke tried really hard to not stare. She did! But the girl in front of her was a mystery. Walls so build up, never revealing anything about herself and Clarke stared to notice the little things, like the way her face would change from a blank stare to a relaxed smile in seconds or the lock jaw when she didn't appreciated something. She tried not to notice other things that were making her skipped some breaths. Lexa's arm brushing against hers when the girl was typing or theirs legs resting together. Every place where theirs bodies touched was burning. When Clarke leaned to type something she could swear she saw Lexa lick her lips.

Don't overthink things, Clarke told herself, letting out a heavy breath.

Lexa stopped working and turned to her. Those beautiful green eyes and pouty lips so close... Clarke melted in awe. 

"You look tired, maybe we should call it day. What do you think?"

The blonde didn't want to go home, she wished she could spend all day pressed to this girl's side. Her aura was so calming, Clarke felted at peace like she didn't felt in a long time. But she knew better.

"Yeah, still have to walk home and didn't want to go after nightfall."

Lexa started packing her stuff, Clarke saved their research and waited as her old laptop shut down.

"Do you play?" Lexa pointed at the GROUNDERS icon on her desktop.

"Yeah, sometimes. And you?" Clarke stated nonchalant and the other girl nodded. "Maybe we could play together, I have a little team with my roommates. I'm not very good, but they are. Add me. SkyPrincess."

She packed her laptop and rose from her seat, ready to say goodbye to Lexa when the girl caught her wrist gently.

 

Lexa froze. The words rang and echo in her head. No, it couldn't be, it was too much of a coincidence. She stared at the girl. Blonde, blue eyes and husky voice, although it was lighter in person. Her heart wanted to jump of her chest. All things around her seem to slow down except her thoughts. She started to analyze everything she knew about the blonde. Clarke has two housemates, both girls. One plays soccer and the other babble a lot and has a leg problem. Oh man, it couldn’t be. Could it? Lexa didn’t want to feel that hope building up inside her. Could the two girls she was crushing on be the same? That was so messed up, Lexa was petrify. Fear crawling to her whole body. Destiny, fate, whatever it was, always enjoyed playing with her and this was its next move. Clarke is SkyPrincess… That voice that has been haunting her dreams belong to the same girl that made her thirsty every time they were in the same room.

Lexa wanted to laugh out loud. This could only happened to her. No safety net now. She wanted to jump, all her energy was increasing inside her, making her feel nauseate, on the edge of throwing up. And yet, Lexa was ecstatic.

Breathe in. Breathe out. She locked her eyes with expecting blue ones.

“I know you are good, Clarke. A commander trained you.

She could do better, but she was still afraid this was a dream. Maybe she saw to many connections that only existed in her head. She needed the girl to meet her half way and this was the best way to see Clarke’s reaction and act accord to it.

The blonde’s eyes narrow.

“How do you know?”

Shit. Lexa let out a small chuckle.

“How do you think, _Princess_.”

As the last word hit Clarke, Lexa saw the confusion on the blonde’s eyes transform on acknowledgment as her cheeks grow red.

“Oh…”

 

Lexa smiled timid. Clarke lower her eyes to the ground and went silence. It scared the shit out of Lexa.

“Let me buy you some coffee so we can talk about how stupid we are for not realizing this sooner.”

Lexa waited. She felt so scared, so open to this girl. So many things crossing her minds, so many walls building up as others were wrecking down, so many feelings, worries, memories. Then the most beautiful thing happened. Clarke lifted her head and she was smiling. The most beautiful smile Lexa has ever seen and it was entirely for her.

“I would like that very much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I’m so sorry for the delay but when I tell you how fucked up my life is, you won’t believe it. So I went travel across Europe for almost two months and when I returned I was greeted with the news an ex-friend tried to steal my crew, my group of friends. She succeed with three of them, the others back me up. And then she went ballistics. Started hitting on my friends’ boyfriends and every other guy that looks her way. We still have to share the same bar, which sucks. I am still trying to pick the pieces…  
> And I had a pretty bad fall. I hit my back on the stairs, cracked some ribs, couldn’t breathe properly and couldn’t move. I still can’t and I hate being in bed.
> 
> So I’ll try to answer some questions you guys asked.  
> No, they didn’t recognized each other’s voice because they didn’t talk much and weren’t paying attention.  
> Yes, the GROUNDERS game is like LOL and SMITE.  
> This story is based on real events ;)  
> I am going to try and update every week or maybe every two weeks. Stay tunned.  
> You guys know where to find me ;)  
> [http://categolden.tumblr.com/](url)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After learning that they knew each other online, they finally talk. Feelings and stuff started to emerge :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking so long to update :/ really hope you guys aren't angry  
> I'm sorry for any mistakes  
> Feel free to comment and give kudos, they are appreciated :)  
> ENJOY

She still didn’t believe it. No, it was too good to be true. There she was, sitting on a café, drinking a latte, staring at the most beautiful she had ever seen and realizing how embarrassed she was. This girl already knew a lot about her, Clarke had entrusted her secrets, hopes and fears and she was here, sitting by Clarke’s side. She could feel the heat on her cheeks and could only imagined how the flaming color would contrast against her pale skin. The minutes pass and they sat in silence, looking at their drinks, until Clarke couldn’t take it anymore and was brave enough to break the ice.

“So, are we going to talk about the big elephant in the room?”

She looked up to the girl by her side. Lexa’s ears were red and the brunette kept her eyebrows furrow, staring at the table.

“I… We…” Lexa stopped to breathe and take a sip of her coffee. Clarke observed the girl. Face blank except for the narrow eyebrows. It was awkward for both of them.

Clarke tightened her hold on her cup.

“Okay, I’ll start. When I met you online, I never thought you’ll be so close, it’s near impossible for that to happen but now here we are… I would never recognize your voice. First because you don’t talk much and second because your voice is much sweeter in person.” Clarke sopped, starring at the girl who continued with her eyes down. The blonde was a nervous talker and boy, she was nervous. She rested her sweaty palms on her lap and continued talking. Even if Lexa couldn’t look her in the eyes, at least she will say everything on her mind and be relieve later. Her tone was not accusing, but rather playful. Even so, the brunette was stoic. - It was so easy talking to you on the game and it’s so easy to talk to you here, I guess that is the only thing you have in common with the Commander. I mean, you are the same person, but if I was to make that assumption, I would start there. You know so much about me, I shared so much and you were always there to listen and guide me. We meet what? One month ago? - The blonde buried her head in her hands and sighed long and exaggerated. - I’m sorry I was such a mess. I still am but...

Clarke stopped when she felt a hand on her forearm. She looked between her fingers and saw those big and sad green eyes staring at her. She melted in place. She lowered her arms to the table, Lexa’s hand still on her arm. Then a small smile appeared on the brunette’s gorgeous lips, followed by a smug grin.

”You are a talker, you know that, right?” Clarke stared confuse at Lexa, who recomposed herself, backing off with her face blank once again. “I’m sorry, I get cocky when nervous.” Clarke observed the girl with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile. “You’re right. I don’t talk much, I don’t share much, but it is effortless being around you. You’re funny, you’ve that sarcastic humor that makes me smile, in the game and in class. I should had notice sooner, but never, in a million years, I would thought you were you, you know?”

 

Clarke smiled wide. Lexa never talked so much. She never meet Clarke’s gaze. Her hands traveled a lot while she spoke. Clarke had notice this in class too, but right now, Lexa’s hands were waving agitated while the brunette spoke.

”Yes, I get that.”

Lexa turned to the girl, more sincere than before. “I don’t have friends. I was really reluctant when O asked me to play with you guys, but after a while I was so at ease with them, with you, I was eager to play.” Clarke loved how in each sentence, Lexa would start calm and then became more excited as she spoke, those hands dancing in front of Clarke and she wanted nothing more than to hold them quietly, but she just watched the girl with a smile on her face. “But then my sister talked me to my senses. I couldn’t spend my days in front of a computer, talking to my virtual friends, I needed to study and as she put: get a life.” Lexa scratched her eyebrows, closing her eyes. “Man, she will be annoyed with this situation. Guess the joke is on her, she told me to make friends.”

”We are your friends.” Clarke interrupted the brunette, lifting her chin, so she could stare at those beautiful green eyes and Lexa could see the honesty on hers. “I’m your friend and believe me, Raven and Octavia miss playing with you and they will flip out when I tell them. I want to get to know you, Lexa. You already know too much about me, you need to return the favor. Friends?”

Clarke extended her hand and watched as the brunette relaxed and smiled, before shaking it.

”Friends.”

They stared at each other for a while, until Lexa’s phone started to ring, startling them both.

”It’s my sister, sorry.” She said before picking it up. “Yes, Anya? Sorry, study time took a little more time than I expected.” She winked at Clarke, making the blonde giggle quietly, while covering her mouth with her hand. “Just leave it on the table, I’ll heat it up when I get home. Yes, I’m fine. Have a nice shift. Love you too, sis.”

Clarke smiled at the fondness of Lexa’s voice.

”I’m sorry about that. She isn’t accustomed to arrive home and me not being there. I got lost on the time.”

”No, I think that’s my fault. It’s getting late.” The blonde acknowledged.

”Do you mind if I walk you home?”

Lexa didn’t want this moment to end. Her blood flushed to her cheeks after realizing what she just said. Clarke lean closer to her, that mischievous look on her face.

 

”You don’t know where I live. Maybe I live near, maybe I live far, are you ready to walk miles?”

Lexa’s throat grew tighter as her body heated.

”I... We...” What was it about this blonde that made her lose her calm and shutter? Finally she shrugged. “I don’t care.”

”Good.” Clarke’s smile was victorious.

 

They walked side by side, being greeted by the beginning of the fall’s night chill, both content with each other’s company.

”The girl with black hair is O, right?” Lexa was finally putting a face to the name.

Clarke grinned. “Octavia, yes, and the girl on the bleachers was Raven.”

”Rae.” Lexa asserted. “Okay, I can understand the nickname SoccerPunchO, but why is Raven FallenMechanic?”

“Well, remember what I told you about her leg? She had a car accident, when we were in high school. Her mom was driving intoxicated, they fell from a small ravine and Raven’s leg got smash. Raven is smart, she’s a genius and she loves to know how thing are built and she loves to tear them apart. She’s studying mechanical engineering, it was so hard for her to pick up her tools after the accident, she couldn’t look at cars, let alone ride in one. Her mom got arrested and she came living with my parents and I. High School was hard on the three of us. As you know my dad died when I was seventeen, two years after Raven’s accident and a few months later, Octavia’s mom died too.

We were close already, but after all this misfortune, we grew even more, we are each other’s support. You know?”

”I understand.”

Clarke looked up to meet Lexa’s gaze and smiled content. Lexa’s calm and warm aura was consuming all of Clarke’s anxieties and the blonde felt a need to melt herself against the brunette.

”Thank you, you know, for listening.”

”Always, Clarke.”

When they arrived at Clarke’s door, they were so close, Clarke felt Lexa’s shoulder brushing hers as they walked, her hand itching for grabbing the brunette’s hand, but she restrained herself.

”So this is me.”

Lexa stopped in front of her and admired the building behind Clarke. They were about 20 min away from the campus and 15 away from Lexa’s house.

”I hope you enjoyed our walk, Miss Griffin.” Lexa bowed making Clarke chuckle.

”You are a dork. Who had thought that behind that arrogant and aloofness posture was an adorable nerd.”

Lexa’s eyes narrowed.

”I’m not a nerd!”

Clarke smiled.

”Yes you’re, Lexa.” She stood on the tip of her toes and kissed the brunette’s cheek. “Goodnight, Lexa, text me when you get home.”

Lexa was petrified, there was a strange feeling on her stomach, like a pitch, vibrating though her. Regardless of feeling her cheeks warm, here was a tingling where Clarke’s lips touched her.

And she was smiling like an idiot, watching Clarke walking away and waving before entering the front of her building.

Lexa walked home with her heart pleased and happy.

 

Clarke entered her apartment and was assaulted by a focused on the mission Raven and a smirking Octavia.

”Rae, what are you doing?”

Raven held Clarke’s hair and inspected her neck and collarbone, moving her hands to the blonde’s shoulders and looking deep in her blue eyes. She extended a five dollar bill, to Octavia, without breaking Clarke’s gaze.

”Thank you.” A grinning Octavia accepted the bill and walked away.

”Damn, Griffin, I really thought you were going to close the deal with Lexa. You’re disappointing me. I’m going to disown you!”

Clarke moved away from Raven’s embrace and stepped to the fridge, collecting a bottle of water for herself.

“Just sit because you are not going to believe my luck.”

 

Lexa rushed through her dinner so she could meet her sister in the bar as fastest as she could. She really needed to find her own vehicle, running and riding the bus was exhausting, especially in this time of the night.

She arrived at the bar and sat on her favorite stool. Her sister, behind the counter, recognize her presence instantly without turning around to see her.

“Did you eat?

Lexa sigh loudly, making Anya turn with a raised eyebrow.

“Whisky… with ice.”

Anya toss the rag she had in her hand and lean on the counter.

“Kid, I know you like to pretend we are on those vintage movies with Bond villains you see on Friday nights, but I am working.”

Lexa lifted her look to gaze to her sister’s eyes.

“I really need some whisky.”

Anya’s concern rising on her face. She poured two shots, one for Lexa and another for herself.

“Talk to me, champ.”

Lexa swallow the liquid that burned through her throat and thanked for the sensation.

“Remember telling me not to jump if I don’t know if there’s a safety net?” Anya nodded, apprehensive. Lexa sighed again. “There was never one.”

Lexa lean over the counter and grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels her sister used to pour the shots and filled her own glass again and drank it.

“The girl I met online, gaming, the one I was starting to fall for? She’s Clarke, the blonde from the soccer game.”

She drank another shot. Anya was blinking incredulous.

“No way!”

“Yes, way! What do I do now, Anya?  I was already falling for her before seeing her and know that she’s so close and looks like an angel, what do I do?”

“Fuck, I have no idea, Lexa.” Anya poured a glass for herself. This wasn’t supposed to happen. “This is insane! You know it’s a million to one chance for that to happen? How could you not know whom you were talking to?”

“Do you really think I could imagine something like this would happen? You know me, I never revealed nothing about myself. My sister is a cop. I know better. But she kept talking and I fell just by listening. She has a voice that would put mermaids to shame and now I know how she looks and I just… She looks and talks like an angel! She’s funny and smart and I know I can fall hard for her.”

They drank another shot.

“You told me she looks like an angel twice. You already fell, little sister” Anya hold Lexa’s hands under her own. Lexa has this awful habit of letting her hands wondering as she spoke. “Look me in the eyes. I know we were taught different, but love isn’t weakness. I love you and you are not a weakness.” Lexa was about to argue with that, but Anya didn’t let her. “Again I’m not saying for you to pursuit a relationship with this girl, like a crazy person. Lexa we have been through so much in life already, just enjoy your youth. Get to know this girl, be her friend and if things evolve to something else, don’t be afraid to get attached. She’s not mom, she’s not Costia. You have a right to be happy, with her or with someone else, but you’ll never find that someone if you don’t try. If things don’t work out, I’ll be here, as I always have been. I love you, baby girl. And it’s finally good to see you drinking whisky with me! Finally!”

Anya laugh as she ruffled Lexa’s hair, who had those gigantic green eyes watering and that lower lip trembling and Anya was a sucker for seeing her sister like this. She came to her encounter from behind the counter and hugged her tightly.

“You big sap. Go play some darts. I still have four hours before my shift ends.”

 

Clarke, Raven and Octavia were sitting on the couch, the tv was on but long forgotten. There was tequila and vodka on the coffee table.

“So, the brunette with the hot sister is the commander?” Raven asked, still trying to understand it all. Clarke nodded. “Fuck, babe, how is this possible?”

“I don’t know… But, God, I was so stupid. I made a mess of myself in front of her… Well, in front of my laptop with her listening on the other side.”

“Well, now you can sleep with her and let out of your system your feelings for the commander and for the girl from ethical class. Two birds, one stone… since she’s the same girl.”

Octavia was the one trying to see the bright side of things. She really liked the commander, but she didn’t talk to Lexa on the game so she was a little troubled with all of what was going on.

Clarke sighed heavily and throw her head back on the couch.

“I can see her like that anymore. Since the game I feel like she’s fragile, like I need to protect her. Sure, she’s good looking, her flirt is on point but there’s this side of her that makes me wanting to cuddle the shit out of her.” She sat herself straight on the couch. “Like, we were walking here and she kept her head low, with hands on her pockets and every time our shoulders touched I saw her blush. Them I kissed her cheek and she was red as a tomato and I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt like I was a teenager again. Like High School never ended.”

Raven hugged a pillow and looked at Clarke with caring eyes.

“You are so cute. You want a vanilla love with Lexa.”

“A vanilla what?” Clarke looked back to the brunette, confused by the expression her friend used.

“You never read Fifty Shades of Grey?” Clarke shook her head. “Damn, Griffin, don’t be a child, pick the damn book and seat quietly reading it!”

“I never read a book, I can’t stand being quietly while reading. I need to wonder!”

Clarke talked with a dreaming voice and both brunettes exchanged an amused look.

“What’s her last name?”

“Woods, and it suits her because she smells like a rainy day in the forest and I loved it” Clarke looked at her friends that were panned on their phones. “What are you doing? You guys have this look on your face, that one that always makes us in trouble.”

Octavia and Raven look at Clarke, mischievously smiling.

“Well, your babe doesn’t have a Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram. What is wrong with this girl? Are you sure that’s her name?”

Clarke get up from her seat and rushed to the side of her friends.

“Are you stalking her online??”

“We are trying, but she’s a ghost…” Raven shrug with a wide smile.

“Let me see, let me see!” Clarke throw herself against Raven, trying to catch the brunette’s phone.

The three roommates sat, drunkenly, on the floor trying to find Lexa online.

“Try something with Commander on…”

“Try Alexandria! That’s what her sister called her!”

Octavia was spread on the floor, her head on Clarke’s lap, sleeping and snoring softly while Clarke run her hands through the brunette’s hair, absorbed on her own thoughts when Raven got up excited, looking at her phone.

“Oh shit! Blondie, I think I just found Officer Sexy.”

Clarke hit Raven on her good leg, telling her to keep it down and carefully removed Octavia’s head to a pillow, before standing up.

Octavia was always tired, her demanding schedule with classes, training and games was, sometimes, a little too much, but she could manage it and her roommates understood it perfectly, helping her the best they could.

“Fuck, sorry! I found Lexa’s sister on Instagram, but her account is private.” Apologetic, Raven showed her cellphone screen and Clarke face fell.

“She’s a cop, she needs to protect her privacy.”

The blonde pat softly Octavia’s shoulder, waking the girl, and taking her to her room. Raven stayed behind.

Clarke is the mom friend. She helped Octavia getting comfy to bed and tucked her in. The brunette always looked so peaceful sleeping, not the hurricane she’s when she’s awake.

“Goodnight, Tavia.”

Feeling the kiss on her forehead, Octavia open her eyes for a second, observing the blonde that was brushing away the tendrils of hair stuck to the brunette’s forehead and resting her hand on top of her head.

“Clarke?”

Her voice was sleepy and Clarke smile fondly to the groggy sound, sitting down on her side on the bed.

“Yes, babe?”

She relaxed on the mattress.

“I love you. We are capable of love and being loved, the past doesn’t matter, okay?”

Clarke chuckle softly and kissed the brunette’s forehead again, before standing up and turning off the lights before leaving the room.

“You are going to kill me… or not.”

“What did you do, Raven?”

Clarke entered the kitchen, where Raven was glued to her phone. She observed the blonde, with tired eyes and a little tipsy from all the vodka and tequila they had drank after dinner. Raven was always the best at holding their liquor. The brunette extended her hand with her phone to the blonde, waiting for a reaction while Clarke blank her eyes.

“I may or may not have asked to follow the hot cop and she may or may not accepted.”

Clarke looked at the now available Instagram account, full of day by day pictures of Lexa’s sister, including some of the brunette. She walked to the couch and sat, still looking at the screen. Raven sat next to her, snuggling on her side, resting her chin on the blonde’s shoulder.

Lexa’s sister, Anya, had a lot of posts with Lexa, some throwback pictures to their childhood, some sweet moments between the sisters and  others just showing how proud she was of the brunette.

“They are really close. Your boo was a damn cute kid.”

Clarke nodded and smiled, looking through the pictures. She gave Raven back her phone and patted her friend on the legs. They exchanged knowing looks and got up from the couch, walking to their rooms. Raven stopped in front of her bedroom door and Clarke hugged her friend, a thank you hug.

“Goodnight, Clarke.”

The Blonde let herself fall on her bed, breathing deeply. She took off her boots and clothes, getting ready to sleep in her most comfy pajama and fell asleep dreaming of green eyes.

 

Anya was directing a slight drunk Lexa through their house. Her sister isn’t used to drink like this and is a sloppy drunk. Lexa was all giggles and stumbling against every piece of furniture they had in the house, and they don’t have that much furniture. The oldest sister couldn’t hold her smile, seeing her sister like that. She knew tomorrow Lexa would come back to her stoic persona but right now she was a cute cinnamon roll. Anya sat Lexa on the bed and started undressing her sister but that turned out to be a difficult task, Lexa wasn’t to cooperative. That girl may not work out as much as Anya and taking a look at her figure, one would think she’s a light weight, but Lexa was all muscle and heavy. Anya had to duck some drunken punches Lexa was throwing at the air, thank god for her quickly reflexes.

Staring at her little sister that had a frown and a pout, Anya chuckle, standing back and admiring her complete mission. Lexa was dressed on her sleeping shorts and top and Anya was sweating.

“What is it, Lexa?”

The brunette had her arms crossed against her chest and was swaying her legs on the side of the bed.

“You forgot my socks.”

Anya had to bite her lip to avoid laughing loud. This scene brought her so many memories. She went to her sister drawer and collect a pair of socks, turning to the brunette and helping her putt the socks on. Since Lexa was a baby she would sleep with socks, even if it was summer. Their mother was always telling that girl would never get cold feet.

“There, kid, all done. Do you think you can get into bed while I’m going to get you some water and aspirin?”

Lexa nodded, laughing with the tip of her tongue between her teeth.

When Anya returned, Lexa was already under the comforter, eyes closed. She set the small bottle on Lexa’s side bed and was getting ready to leave when Lexa called her.

“Anya? Can you sleep with me, please? Just like old times?”

Anya smiled tenderly. Her sister was a sap. Anya was six when her sister was born, she remembered that day fondly.

Their mother was a model, always in photoshoots or walking the runaway and Anya remembered her childhood was full of color and glamour, but lonely. Not many kids in the fashion’s show’s backstage. When her mother got pregnant a second time, they started living with one of her “friends”. Aaron was a photographer, living on a loft in New York that Anya loved. He was a kind soul, to kind for their mother, Anya can see that now.

When Lexa was born, Anya was picked up from school, she assumed she was in trouble, but Aaron was talking kindly to her, explaining what was happening. They walked the busy streets of New York, in a hot April day and when they got to the hospital, her mother was resting with a pink blanket on her arms. Anya was picked up and placed on her mother’s bed so she could see the newborn. She doesn’t remember what they were saying to her, she was mesmerized by the sleeping baby. From that day on, Anya knew she would have a partner for life.

Anya slide into bed and hugged Lexa, who got herself comfortable against her sister’s front. The blonde pulled the brunette close to her, so she was sitting on her lap. They had slept like that for years. On bad days and nightmares the other’s presence was reassuring.

“I love you, kid.”

“I love you too, Anya”

The words were said drunken and sleepy but they weren’t any less true. They would always be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me your thoughts
> 
> Anya's instagram is on my tumblr ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!

Why did she drink on a Monday night? How can Anya sleep 6 hours per day? Lexa was walking on campus, with her bag on one hand and a shaker with a green liquid on the other. She didn’t know how to drink that stuff. Anya had just left her on campus, she didn’t know how her sister could manage it. When their alarms went off, at 7 am, Lexa groaned and placed her pillow above her head. She heard a little chuckle and a weight being lift from the mattress, Anya was up. When she got ready for the day, her sister already had made breakfast and gave her something that was supposed to be a hangover cure.

Now, Lexa was leaning with her eyes closed, hoodie on her head, against the Law and Literature building trying to drink that awful smoothie. She was already late for class and she knew she’ll fell asleep the moment she sat down, her head was killing her slowly. Why did she drank again?

“Hey there!”

She opened one eye to look at the cheerful voice, straightening up when she recognized the blonde in front of her.

“Hello, Clarke.”

Her voice was like a groan and she mentally cursed herself for being so impolite.

“Hello, grumpy. What is the matter?”

Clarke was still so happy and smiling and Lexa couldn’t wonder how someone can be that excited at 8:30 in the morning.

“I’m sorry. I’m just hangover, I was at the bar with my sister yesterday…”

Clarke smiled, approaching the brunette.

“You poor thing. Can I do anything to make you feel better?”

Lexa’s eyes widen and she unconsciously stared to Clarke’s lips, licking her own. A kiss from those lips would make her day all better, she would be cheerful, jolly and whatever you call it. She may even sing.

“I… No.” her cheeks were burning and by the smirk on Clarke’s face, the blonde knew the effect she had on the brunette.

“Are you always this articulated around pretty girls or is it just me?”

Just you, Lexa thought. Her mind was too slow to even coordinate words to sentences. Damn hangover! She has game! She’s Lexa Woods, she used to be every lesbian, bi girls’ dream and even straight girls looked at her twice. The Woods sisters were known for their game. She’s been out of practice for quite some time but how can this blonde girl come and kick her off her game?

“Okay, Romeo, you are too slow this morning. I’m going, see you around.”

When Lexa notice the girl walking away, she jump awake from her zombie state and chase the girl.

“Clarke, wait, I’m sorry, I’m really sleepy and I need coffee. Come with me and I’ll buy you one, so I can apologize to you from having to deal with my grumpy self.” She threw one of her charming smiles and it worked. Clarke dropped her head, blushing, before smiling.

“Well, look who’s awake. Finally!”

“Are you mocking me, Clarke?”

They started walking and Clarke lifted her hand, squinting her eyes and showing Lexa the little space between the fingertips of her index and thumb.

“Just this little.”

Lexa bumped Clarke’s shoulder and the blonde laugh loudly.

 

They sat on the café, just enjoying each other presence, the conversation was light and easy, as always. Even with Lexa grumpy, which was too amusing to Clarke, they were laughing and Lexa was starting to bright up, even flirting with Clarke a little bit. They were just getting to know each other a little more.

“What are you going to do the rest of the day?”

“Well, I can’t go home, my sister will have my ass for skipping classes. She likes to go to the gym and then grab some lunch at home. I’m pretty sure I’m going to fall asleep the minute I get to bed.”

“You can sleep at my house, I have to study and my roommates aren’t home till late.”

Lexa took the opportunity and leaned close to Clarke.

“Already inviting me to sleep at your place? And I didn’t even had to take to dinner? Damn I’m better than I thought!”

Lexa leaned back on her chair, smiling like crazy while Clarke frown.

“Really, Romeo? We were having a really good talk here! Stop hitting on me!”

Lexa fake being hurt by Clarke’s words, taking her hand to her heart.

“You are the one telling me to sleep at your house! But I have to tell you, you got game, getting me on a bed and the next thing I know, you are kissing me and we make sweet love through the night. I need to warn you, I’m a snuggler in the after bliss.”

She raised her eyebrows, suggestively and Clarke started laughing so hard, her cheeks were hurting. Lexa joined her. Part of her wanted that to be true but this was innocent flirt.

“You are such a dork! Come on, you have to work harder to get into my pants.”

“Does that mean I have a shot?”

“Maybe…”

Lexa jump up from her chair, celebrating with a fist pumping YES! and a small dance and Clarke was mesmerized by the girl in front of her. She was starting to see through the cocky and stoic façade. She loved seeing Lexa being herself around her.

Clarke hid her chuckle behind her hand as she stood up, staring at the luminous cat-like eyes of the brunette. She passed through the girl and glance over her shoulder, challenging the girl to follow her. 

Blue eyes sparkled devilishly and time stood still. Was she serious? Lexa felt a dry lump on her throat as the tickling on her stomach began rising, substituted by a cold sweat. Straightening her features, Lexa let out a breath she didn’t know was holding, trying to remain calm. It almost felt like a panic attack, but not quite like it.

“Are you serious?”

Clarke’s expression soften as she came close to the brunette, leading her out of the door, with gentle but firm pushes. She saw the brunette’s eyes widen with surprise and confusion and Clarke laughed, loudly and warm.

The car ride was silence, Clarke was smiling and humming along with the radio but Lexa, her mind was racing. Every time she was alone with a girl in a room, things always end up in one way: sex. Raw and pure pleasure. She was a stranger to relationships and commitments, it was hard for her to get her guard down, so booty calls and one night stands were her thing. But Clarke deserved better. Lexa didn’t knew why, but the blonde made her want to be the better version of herself she could be. She wanted Clarke’s friendship, she wanted that bubble of joy in the mornings, she wanted those expressive eyes challenging her in every way and she wanted everything Clarke would give her. She couldn’t mess this up and she didn’t trust herself with a pretty girl like Clarke so close. This was a bad idea. She could feel it in her guts, her hands were sweaty and even with her trying to dry them in her jeans, they only seem to get wetter. Her breathing was starting to get irregular.

“You okay there?” Clarke placed her hand on Lexa’s knee and the girl immediately tensed up, making the blonde retreat her hand. She let out a defeated breathe. “Lexa, I can take you home, if you are not comfortable with this.”

“Have you notice that you always take me somewhere? First your car, now your house… Are you planning to murder me or something else?”

Lexa lifted her eyebrows suggestively but it made Clarke frown.

“Really, Lexa? I was worried.”

Lexa sighed.

“I’m sorry, Clarke. This is my stupid way to try and build up my confidence when I’m nervous. Sometimes I am an ass. I’m sorry, you have been nothing but nice to me and I don’t want to lose that. I’m really sorry.”

Clarke looked up to the girl who had an enormous pout with that lower lip trembling accompanied with honest green eyes and she down. How can someone resist that look?

“It’s fine, Lexa. You don’t have to be nervous, I just want to be your friend, nothing more. You won’t lose me, at least not until the semester is over, we have a paper to work on.”

Lexa smiled at Clarke’s tentative to light up the mood, but those words _I just want to be your friend_ sting a little more than Lexa’s expected.

Clarke parked the car and they walked the flights of stair to the blonde’s apartment.

“Ok, first of all, this house is always a mess, I try to clean it up nicely, but with those two it’s almost impossible. Some words of warning: don’t go to O’s room, it stinks. We are thinking of giving her some air freshener on her birthday because that room smells awful, like grass and dirt and sweat. Next…” Clarke stopped, one finger on her chin as she thought. “Raven’s room is okay, full of books and tools. Then is my room, best bed on the world.” She nudged her elbow on the brunette’s side, trying to calm the girl, who had her hands burrow deep in her pockets. She manage to smile and roll her eyes. “Don’t look at me like that, you’ll see! The rest of the house is quite normal.”

Clarke opened the door for Lexa and the brunette walked through the door. They entered directly on the kitchen. There was a table for four on the middle with a basket of fruit on its top. There were kitchen cabinets on the wall in front of Lexa and on her left. There was a room divider on the right, with shelves with some books and statues.

“Come.”

Clarke’s keys’ ring falling on the table next to the door brought Lexa from admiring the house.

Sliding her hand to Lexa’s small back, Clarke guided her to the living room. There were definitely two spaces on this room. The big table on their right, on the back of the room, with a hutch against the wall. The table was full of papers, books, notebooks and three laptops. And food. Junk food to be precise. There was a plasma on the other side of the room, hanging on the wall, two meters from the most comfortable looking blue L couch Lexa had laid eyes on. There was a coffee table between the tv and couch and an arm chair on the left side, against the divider with a floor lamp next to it. Their house was beautiful.

“Wow, your house is… wow.”

Clarke smiled and drop her bag on the table.

“Thanks, it used to be my mom’s when she was studying here. She never had the courage to sell it, hopping I would follow her footsteps. Come, I’ll show you my room.”

Lexa leaned against the divider, giving Clarke her smug smile and playful eyes.

 “Stop or I’ll make you sleep on Octavia’s room!” Clarke just rolled her eyes.

Lexa lifted her hands in surrender and followed Clarke. Her room was the first one on the little hallway that was just pass the kitchen. She opened the door and let Lexa observed the room, biting her lips, nervous about what the taller girl was thinking.

The first thing Lexa noticed was the amplified sweet perfume mixed with the smell of lavender and detergent that Clarke always smelled and that made Lexa so calm whenever the blonde was near. She took a deep breathe, hopping to never forget that smell and hopping to one day smell it on Clarke’s skin while kissing it. She was getting lost on her thoughts and shook her head, trying to ground herself before losing her cool. Clarke was her friend, nothing more. She needed to stop thinking about the blonde on that way or she would never be able to control herself around her.

Looking around the room, the brunette was astonish by the canvas hanging on the walls, some piled up on the floor, next to an easel. There were landscapes, skies, some details on the human body, it was just like a gallery. Her jaw was dropped.

“Wow! Clarke, are this yours? Like, your work?”

She began to look around the room, watching closely every detail of each painting and Clarke chuckled at her antics.

“Yes. Some are really old, but still my favorites. The others are next to the desk and the window, if you are interest.”

Lexa turned around, beholding Clarke in her shyness and the butterflies in Lexa’s stomach went flying like crazy. She approach the girl with fondness on her eyes.

“You are really talented, Clarke. I don’t think I can sleep here, I’ll be contemplating every one of your works.”

Clarke looked down, trying to cover her blushing cheeks and a lock of hair fell from behind her ear and Lexa felt bold watching this girl opening up to her without thinking twice she tucked the stubborn curl behind the blonde’s ear, stepping closer to her.

Lexa felt Clarke’s breathe on her lips, it had become irregular as the blue eyes darkened. She leaned in and hug Clarke. The blonde tensed up a little bit as the air got caught up on her lungs.

“Thank you for showing me this, Clarke.”

“You… ha… are welcome?”

The taller girl stepped behind, letting the blonde go, who busied herself going around Lexa and opening drawers on the dresser by their side. She dropped a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants on Lexa.

“There, this may be a little big on you, if you prefer shorts there are some on the bottom drawer. I’ll wake you up to eat lunch but if you wake up earlier you can join me on the living room. Sleep tight, Lexa.”

With this the blonde left the room without looking twice to Lexa, closing the door behind her and leaning it.

What the hell was wrong with her? Her body was hot and her heart racing. She walked to the kitchen and served herself a glass of water. Her throat had become dry, she was thirsty. Clarke rolled her eyes at the irony of her words, of course she was thirsty. Thirsty for Lexa. The brunette had this effect on her, well, how can someone resist that… that perfection? When Clarke left Octavia at the door of her classroom, (Octavia has a bad habit of skipping the morning classes after a drinking night) she never thought she would encounter the brunette, looking like the grumpy cat, leaning on the building and drinking a smoothie, wearing a black hoodie, some ripped jeans and a pair of aviators on her eyes. She looked so good, Clarke knew she had to talk to her, at least to tease her a little bit, but Lexa was the definition of hangover and could barely keep sentences. It was amusing for Clarke to see the uptight brunette so cranky.

After a few minutes, Clarke was ready to start studying and her mind was focus only on her textbooks. When she finally rose her head from her books, it was already lunch time. She didn’t hear a sound from her room, she presumed Lexa was still asleep.

Being the mom friend that Octavia and Raven always labeled her for, she got up and started doing some lunch for herself and Lexa. She was humming along a song on her headphones when, from the corner of her eyes, she saw the brunette appear. She took of the headphones and smiled.

“Good afternoon, sleepy head. I was about to call you! Come, I made some lunch.”

Lexa was rubbing her eyes and her hair was wild. Clarke thought it was the most adorable thing she ever saw. Lexa looked so young like this. The blonde’s clothes were short but large.

“Lexa? Are you with me?”

“I thought I smelled food, my stomach started making noises and I just reacted with it. You could have waked me up Clarke, I would have helped you.”

Clarke just smiled. Lexa was a big kid, no doubt.

“Stop, you are a guest in my house and you were sleeping, like I invited you to. But if you wanna help, you could set the table. Plates and glasses are up here and tableware are over there.”

Lexa didn’t think twice before moving. She sprinted to get the tableware, it was the closest to her. Then she stared at the counter-top were Clarke told her the plates were. The counter was right above Clarke, who was meticulous cooking their lunch. Lexa let her eyes wonder to Clarke’s body, the way she swayed her hips on those tight jeans. She wet her lips and felt her breathing increase. She could not feel like this around her friend. She was starting to feel like Elsa from Frozen. (Yes, she saw that movie. Movies and tv shows about sisters always had a special place on her heart.) Conceal, don’t feel. With a deep breath, she walked to the counter.

“Excuse me.”

Clarke took a step to the side, allowing Lexa to reach the counter-top. The brunette grabbed the plates and set them on the table. She went back to get the glasses and Clarke gave her a little push with her hip, making the brunette lose some of her balance.

It was playful and both of them smiled. Lexa’s tension was melting.

“All done, Clarke. Do you need help with something else?”

“Already told you no.” The blonde stuck her tongue out to Lexa, making the brunette smile.

“Ok, I’m going to change to my clothes.”

She didn’t wait for an answer. But not one minute later, she heard the blonde calling her.

“Lexa!! What do you want in your burger?”

“Make it just like yours!”

“Bacon, cheese, tomato, lettuce, caramelize onions, pickles and sauce? And some fries?”

“Yes!”

“Hurry up, then! They are ready!”

She didn’t had to be told twice, she was out of the bedroom and in the kitchen in a flash. Clarke was already setting the burgers on their plates. Lexa rubbed her hands with glee, she was really hungry and the burgers looked so delicious.

Her first bite took her to the stars. She moan as she chew on the food.

“God, Clarke. This is amazing. Best burger I have ever had!”

 “Glad you like it.”

They ate in silence, Lexa was devouring the burger, not letting room for small talking.

“Are you hot?”

She stopped mid-chewing, with her mouth full to look confusing at Clarke, who was smiling from ear to ear.

“Your cheeks are red and you left your hoodie on my room, I can open some windows if you want.”

Lexa swallow before speaking.

“No, that’s ok. Your house is warm, I like it.”

“Okay.”

When they were finished, Clarke gave Lexa one bowl of strawberry and chocolate ice cream.

“Sorry, we normally have more flavors, but last night we ate them all. I need to do some groceries tomorrow.”

“This is far more what I deserve, Clarke! You treat your guest really well.”

“Some people can say that.” her voice was hollow as she started playing with her ice cream and Lexa changed the subject.

“So, your mother has this apartment for how many years?”

“More than twenty-five, I think. My grandmother bought it when she was accepted here. She had some roommates to help with the expenses, then she got a job at the hospital, my dad moved here with her. She taught here a few semesters too and then she was invited to be the Head of Cardiothoracic Surgery in New York. My dad got a job as the Lead Engineer in the city council. She still comes and gives some lectures here. So having the apartment is a plus. Especially for me, because it was always “home” away from home, you know? And the extra two bedrooms are perfect for my two best friends. Sometimes we joke about how it was destiny.”

Clarke had this nostalgic smile, talking about her past.

“You live in New York?” Lexa’s eyes were wide.

“My family is from here, but yes, I was born in New York, but don’t fool yourself. I didn’t had those rich kids lives you see on tv. We were fine, you know, normal, I can say. But to grow in up in New York, surrounded by art is something else…”

Lexa was tapping her fingers nervously on the table and Clarke looked up from her ice cream to the brunette in front of her.

“I was born in New York.” The words came out really carefully as in fear.

“You were?”

“Yes, some of my childhood was spent there, but I don’t remember much. Most of it are things that Anya tells me about.”

Clarke caught Lexa’s hand, trying to calm the girl. She has come to notice this behavior was the first signal that Lexa was nervous.

“You never talk about yourself, about your family. I would like to know you better, Lexa.”

The brunette smiled sadly.

“There isn’t much to know…”

The blue eyes in front of her were begging and how could she resist? Clarke was an excellent listener, but she has being keeping all her thoughts and emotions inside herself since she can remember. Lexa was a stranger to sharing her feelings.

“My only blood family is Anya. My mother is dead and I don’t know who my dad is. We were raised in fosters homes and moved a lot. When Anya turned eighteen, they didn’t let me live with her. I spent three years without her, while she worked her ass off to have a solid job so she could have my custody. On her first year, she was cleaning offices and met this lawyer, Indra, and Indra promised to help her and so she paid my sister’s salary while she was enlisting on the police academy. After becoming an officer of the law, Anya plead for my full custody and won. The rest is easy to guess.”

Even with some sarcasm and contempt in her voice, she did it. She shared her story with someone. Her lip was trembling and it was hard to swallow.

Clarke squeezed her hand.

“Thank you, for telling me this. I know how hard it is for you to trust people.”

“Thank you for being understandable. I know I’m hard to be around, but that’s how I survived all this years…”

“Well, I don’t think you are hard at all!” Clarke got up and started gathering the dishes. “Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?”

“Maybe we do.”

Lexa rose to her feet and took the glasses to the sink.

“You wash and I dry?”

“Yeah, Raven and Octavia left theirs breakfast dishes for me to wash, as always.”

“You really are their babysitter.”

Clarke shrug.

“Sometimes I feel like their mother, other times I feel like their younger sister. I know those girls like the palm of my hand. They are difficult to tame, but they have good hearts.”

“Wish I could have some friends like them.”

This was Lexa’s time to shrug. She toss the cloth to her shoulder.

“I have two friends, Anya and Lincoln and that’s it. They are great, but one is my sister, so I am obligated to hang out with her and the other is her partner, but he’s cool, I like to hang out with him.”

Clarke tossed some water to Lexa, making the brunette jump backwards.

“Hey, I thought I was your friend! How come I’m not on your list?”

Lexa chuckle and hugged Clarke.

“I’m sorry, of course you are my friend.”

“Good, don’t forget that! Come, let’s watch some tv!” The blonde was already walking towards the couch but Lexa stopped her.

“Didn’t you want to study?”

“Already reached my fair share of anatomy for today.”

Clarke dropped herself on the couch and looked up, staring at the smirk on Lexa’s face.

“Oh, just shut up and come here.”

The blonde pat the seat next to her and the brunette settle herself.

“What do you want to watch?”

“Supergirl was on last night but I didn’t watch it, do you mind if we do?”

“Yeah, sure, no problem.” Clarke turn on the tv and pulled a blanket on top of them. “You like superheroes stuff?”

“Yeah.” Lexa looked to Clarke, the girl was expectant. She let out a long breath. How can someone resist those sparkling blue eyes? “When I was young, in one of the foster homes, the father was a comic book geek and he let me read comics and we talked about the characters and stories.” Clarke was looking with surprising eyes. “Not all stories about foster homes are bad, Clarke. Don’t look at me like that!”

“Oh no, that wasn’t it!” Clarke jumped up, trying to justify herself. “It just…” She turned her features to adoring one. “You make yourself look like you have an ice block instead of a heart, but Alexandria Woods, you are more than what meets the eye. Tell me more stuff!”

“Like what?”

Clarke leaned with her elbow on the back of the couch, contemplating the brunette in front of her, opening herself to her.

“Tell me your favorite superhero and why!”

“My favorite or the one I would like to be?”

“There’s a difference?”

They didn’t know but they were thinking the same. How can someone who you have just know for a few months, feel like you know them for your whole life? Lexa noticed, Clarke was a touchy person and if it was someone else, Lexa would flinch at the first contact, but for some reason, she enjoyed Clarke’s playful and comforting touches.

The conversation flowed easily, with the episode playing on the back. Clarke was mesmerized by Lexa’s enthusiasm when speaking about the things she liked.

Their calm bubble was busted when the roommates hurricanes came busting in the apartment.

“Blondie!! We are home!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it. I really hope this year brings me more time and inspiration to write.   
> Let me know what you all think, I really enjoy knowing how all of you are feeling with the story! Feel free to send me any questions or suggestions you have :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! Sorry for the delay, but, here it is, a new chapter.  
> I saw the 100 yesterday and I got to say I cry the all episode. I miss Lexa so much. it isn't the same without her. Lexa deserved better.

Lexa jumped from the couch, her stoic facade back on her face, standing straight, watching the two girls at the door. Raven and Octavia were also surprised to see they have a guest. Clarke was still on the couch, looking between her roommates and Lexa. She laughed.

“Don’t worry, they bark but they don’t bite!”

The three girls stood, looking at each other, the tension rising, until Raven broke down smiling and walked to Lexa, extending her hand.

“Nice to see you, again, Lexa! Welcome to our humble home!” Both brunettes shook hands.

Octavia was watching the interaction with suspense. So this was the girl who she had been playing online, she doesn’t looked so scared now, but there was this aura around her, that screamed ‘caution, I’m dangerous’. Maybe it was this idea that Octavia created around ‘The Commander’, but the way the girl stood taller than everyone else, her chin up and challenging, it gave Octavia goosebumps. She wouldn’t let this girl intimidate her on her own house, so she step forward and extended her hand.

“I don’t think we were formally introduce. I’m Octavia.”

Lexa gripped firmly the small brunette’s hand.

“Lexa.” There was a tint of amusement in her voice when the blue eyes in front of her opened wide, recognizing her voice, breaking her threatening façade.

“Fuck, you really are The Commander!”

Clarke busted out laughing, while Lexa chuckle. The tension in the room dispersed.

“Yes, that would be me.” Lexa and Clarke exchanged amused looks.

“Oh, fuck! We need to play, while you are here! I’ll go grab my laptop! Raven, come with me!”

Octavia started rambling and tried to drag Raven with her, but the oldest brunette stopped her, when she notice the hesitation on Lexa’s eyes.

“Not so fast, Pocahontas, the Commander hasn’t said yes. She’s here with Clarke, you can’t just steal her!”

Octavia stopped and pouted, crossing her arm in front of her body. She looked at Clarke, then to Lexa, then to Clarke again.

The blonde smile, and got up from the couch, her arm circling Lexa’s waist.

“Do you want to play with them?”

Lexa shrug, looking between the girls, but feeling her heart beat fast as she felt the warm of Clarke’s arm. Her right arm slide around Clarke’s shoulder on its own volition.

“I don’t have a laptop…”

“You can use mine. I don’t feel like playing, I only played to talk to you, anyway.” The blonde pressed her fingers against the ribs of the brunette.

“So you confess, then?” Lexa’s smug smirk displaying fully on her face.

“Yes.” She got on the tip of her toes, so she could kiss the brunette’s face. The blonde let go of the embrace and walked to the kitchen. “Oh, and Lexa, you are staying for dinner. It’s not up for discussion. Okay? My laptop is on the table.”

Lexa was about to say something, but Clarke gave her a warning look, making the brunette drop her shoulders in defeat. Raven and Octavia watched the two friends interacted with amused looks.

The brunettes circulated the table and set their laptops. Lexa followed theirs lead. They were waiting for the game to load when they heard Clarke’s room door closing and Octavia, from her place on the table, balanced on her chair so she could see if they were on the clear. When the front legs of Octavia’s chair hit the ground, Raven looked at Lexa, who was next to her.

“So, you and Clarke?” The grin on the mechanic face was huge.

Lexa took a deep breath, she should be prepared for ‘The Interrogation’, even if she and Clarke weren’t nothing more than friends.

“What about it?”

“Are you guys dating now?” Octavia was the one to jump to the subject.

“No.” Lexa was calmed as ever. “Clarke and I are just friends.”

“Well, that’s a bummer. So, ready to win some games? Did you saw the articles about our team? We need to give it a name! And maybe compete someday!”

Octavia was enthusiastic, she talked nonstop, about the game, about the players. She was competitive and stubborn and Lexa liked it. Sometimes Octavia was talking so fast she couldn’t understand a thing, so she looked at Raven who was grinning.

“She’s crazy, don’t worry!” She tried to assure Lexa.

“Hey! I heard that!”

After their first game and first win, Octavia rose from her seat and demanded a high-five from her teammates and danced her victory dance a little bit, before sitting again, ready for the next game.

“How long do you and Clarke know each other?” Raven leaned against the chair, stretching her leg and relieving some pressure on the straps of the brace.

“You know… we have been playing for what? Four months? She was in my class but we only started talking recently. Then your game, last Saturday, was the first time we talked outside class.” She pointed to Octavia. “Yesterday we met for our ethical project and discovery we have been playing this game together. Today she saw me curing my hangover on campus and invited me to crash here, because my sister would have my head if she knew I skipped class. We get along fine, it’s like I’ve known her my entire life, you know?”

Raven and Octavia nodded.

“She makes you feel like that. She used to hang out with my brother Bellamy, when we were in High School and even if every one of their friends saw me as the annoying little sister, Clarke has always saw me as a person, standing up for me and our friendship grew bigger. We don’t always see eye to eye, but I love her like a sister.”

Lexa heard the story attentive. She would love to have a friendship like the girls seem to have.

“My story with Clarke is almost the same. I knew her mother and father and that girl always made me feel welcome. Even after stealing my boyfriend!”

“She didn’t steal your boyfriend.” Octavia jumped in defending her friend. She knew Raven was joking, but Lexa didn’t knew the all story and could easily jump to wrong conclusions. “You guys were like, friends with benefits. That’s what happens when you start kissing your neighbor in middle school and evolve to sex in high school. You said you were never in love with him.”

“I know!” Raven lifted her hands. “But even so, I told her he was a player. He was cheating on me. I warned her, she thought he was different. He wasn’t.” The brunette shrug and concentrated back on the game.

There was an uncomfortable silence, before Lexa cleared her throat and spoke.

“I don’t have any friends from high school. I messed with the wrong girl, she did a number on me and I had to get through my senior year alone.” There was a lump on her throat that she couldn’t swallow but some relieve came from this stories exchange. She ran her hand through her hair, losing it a little bit.

“That’s sad… But you have us now! Seriously, we know we are crazy and barely now each other outside the game, but you are always welcome to hang out with us!”

Lexa smile warmly. These three girls were definitely crazy, but welcoming and Lexa didn’t feel at this ease in a long time. She was actually enjoying her evening and relaxing. It was just like when she was playing the game at home, but now she could see their faces and Octavia would high-five her, making her smile.

They heard Clarke on the kitchen and Lexa tried to peek on what her friend was doing, but had no luck. After a while the smelling of pizza filed the room.

“Oh my, she didn’t!” Octavia stopped playing and looked back on the kitchen. On her spot, she was the only one who could see it clearly. “You, Clarke Griffin, are an angel that fell from the sky!”

Clarke laughed and appear leaning at the divider. Lexa was captivated by the blonde’s laugh.

“You don’t know what I am doing!”

“Of course I know! That’s the best New York’s pizza! Sorry guys, but I prefer the pizza over the game. After this one I’ll wait by the oven!”

Lexa looked between the three roommates, but her eyes rested on Clarke’s.

“That has to be some good pizza, if O is leaving the game behind.” Her grin was challenging and by the way Clarke grinned and placed her hand on her hip, she knew she was teasing the blonde the right way.

Clarke swayed her way to Lexa and leaned on the table, looking into the brunette’s eyes.

“Win the game and you can have a taste, Commander.” She lifted her eyebrows before turning on her heels and walking away to the kitchen, high-fiving Octavia on her way out.

Lexa let out a breath she didn’t know was keeping. She leaned on her chair, eyes opened wide, hand running through her head, searching for answers on the other two brunettes eyes.

“Did you see that?”

“Yes! You just got burned by Blondie!” Raven was laughing so hard she almost fell from her chair. Lexa was about to hurry to her side, but the mechanic stopped her. “She always makes this irresistible voice and, oh man, you should have seen your face! You need to pick up your game, Commander! Griffin will clean the floor with your ass in no time!”

“What?” Lexa was getting really confused.

“I’ll show you.” Raven rubbed her hands together, before screaming to the kitchen. “Hey! Griffin! Tonight’s the night I’ll get your cute ass on my bed?”

Not long after, Raven got her reply.

“In your dreams, Reyes!”

She winked to Lexa before answering. “Already had you in my dreams, I wanna see if the real stuff is up to its reputation.”

There was silence and then a loud laugh filled their ears and Raven had a satisfied grin on her face. Lexa was disbelieving this all interaction, her eyebrows narrowing.

Clarke appear at the divider, pointing at Raven.

“You got me!” Clarke had a little blush on her cheeks. “Come on, guys, the pizza is ready.”

The three gamers followed Clarke to the kitchen. The smell was so captivating that Lexa closed her eyes and let it sink in. The roommates sat on their respective places, leaving the seat next to Clarke available for Lexa.

“So,” the blonde spoke. “We have ham and cheese, peperoni, and ham and cheese with half with pineapple.”

“Those slices are mine! Someone touches them and they lose a hand!” Raven launched herself to the pizza, Octavia attacked the peperoni one and Lexa tore her eyes from the pizza to look at Clarke, who was looking adoring at her. Lexa rubbed her hands on her thighs, she was getting nervous. She felt so domestic, so at ease with this girls and that was scary for her. She tore her eyes from Clarke and concentrated on the pizza, she didn’t knew witch one to choose. She felt a hand on top of her and held a breath.

“Do you want me to serve you?” Clarke looked at her with those hopeful blue eyes and Lexa swallow hard, nodding her head furiously. She picked up Lexa’s plate and filled it with a slice of ham and cheese and other of peperoni.

“Bon appétit!”

When Lexa bite the first slice, she let out a moan and closed her eyes. Something in her mind was triggered, she remembered something similar to this taste. And chocolate milkshake. She remembered a brick wall and Disney movies on the tv. She had a warming smile and someone cleaning her greasy hands with baby wipes. She remembered New York.

She opened her eyes and Clarke was hesitant looking at her, even if she tried to hide it behind her smile, her eyes didn’t lie.

“Clarke, this is amazing! I can taste New York in this. It made me remember my home.” Lexa looked at the pizza on her hands like it was some kind of Holy Grail. She didn’t remember much of New York, but she remember being happy, being warm and loved. If Clarke’s pizza did this for her, it would bring tears to Anya’s eyes! “My sister would die for this pizza! How did you learn to make it just like this?”

 Clarke visually relaxed and kept looking at Lexa with those adoring eyes.

“Senior year we had to do this project where we had to work on a small business for three months. Clarke, here, chose a small pizzeria in a corner. She learned the recipe and all the secrets to New York’s best pizza.” Octavia spoke proudly about her friend, who ducked her head and blushed. “Unfortunately, she only makes it from time to time.”

Lexa smiled, looking at the blonde.

“Really? What made you do it this time, Miss Griffin? What secrets do you hold?”

She loved teasing the blonde, Clarke was smiling and Lexa loved being the reason that smile was on that lovely face. Their gazing bubble was busted by Raven’s mouth full of food questions.

“Wait, you are from New York?”

Lexa turned her head toward the brunette. Her smiled dropped and her left hand found its way back to her thigh, but before she was starting to rub it, she felt an assuring hand atop of hers and a little squeeze.

“Yes, I grew up there until I was six, then I moved around.”

Raven nodded her head, impressed and went back to chewing her food. Clarke squeezed her hand again before standing up and opening the fridge.

“So, we have coke, beer and water. What so you guys want?”

“Beer”

“Coke”

“And you, Lexa?”

“Water, please. Thank you.”

“See, you guys could learn a lot from Lexa! You take me for granted! One day I’ll move out and what are you guys going to do?” Clarke reprehended her friends, giving them their drinks and them pointing her finger.

“No way! You are stuck with us!”

“Yep! Do you think we’ll let you leave after years of training you to be the perfect housemate? You are crazy, Griffin!”

The brunettes rose their bottles to toast their agreement on their plan, but were interrupted by a flying piece of pizza’s crust. Octavia looked back at where the crust landed.

“I am not cleaning that!”

“Uggh!” Clarke rested her head on her palm. “Can your sister take them in and you come live with me? Maybe she can go all cop on them, making them polite and sweet, like you.”

Lexa blushed a little but shrug.

“I wouldn’t mind! Your hot sister can cuff me when I’m naughty! I don’t mind!” Raven licked her lips on the thought, but Lexa trembled with disgust.

“Please, not this again! My sister is off limits!”

“Oh come on, Lexa your sister is super-hot! I saw her Instagram!”

Lexa chocked on her water, surprised by Raven’s revelation.

“My sister has Instagram?” Her eyes opened wide. Anya never told her that. “Wait, why are you following my sister’s Instagram?”

Raven gulped, looking guilty between Lexa and Clarke. Lexa notice this and stared at the blonde, demanding an explanation. Her shoulders tensed up immediately as she started standing straight on her chair, clenching her jaw.

Clarke could see the walls Lexa had brought down that afternoon building up again. She tried to grab the brunette’s hand with her own, but it fell half way. She looked guilty and she knew in Lexa’s eyes this sounded bad.

“We were trying to find your Instagram, but the Woods that came up was your sister…”

“I don’t have any social media. Why were you trying to find mine?” Lexa’s voice was harsh and serious.

“Lexa…” Clarke gathered the courage and grabbed Lexa’s hand that were on the brunette’s lap. Taking a deep breath she confessed. “I told them you were the Commander, we were curious about you and social media is a place to know something about people. I was surprise to not find you on any of them…”

Lexa felt trapped, just like in high school, when people acted behind her back. Her breathing was rushing and she felt that heavy feeling on her head. There was a thumb making small circles on the back of her hand, smoothing her. She focused on the rhythm of the circles, calming her breathing.

“I need to wash my practice gear, so I’ll go do it now…” Octavia rose from her seat slowly, she could feel the tension in the room rising and Clarke and Lexa should talk about it, even if she didn’t understand why Lexa was so upset.

“I’ll go with you.”

Raven and Octavia excused themselves from the table and after Octavia picked up her gym bag, they rushed through the door, leaving Lexa and Clarke alone. Raven left her phone on the table, signing it to Clarke. The moment the door click shut, Lexa stood up from the table, running her hands through her hair and taking deep breaths.

“Hey, talk to me, Lexa…Don’t shut me out, please.”

Lexa ran her index finger through her eyebrows, her wrinkling nose relaxing as she let out a long breath. Clarke approached the brunette slowly. When Lexa opened her eyes and saw Clarke’s apprehensive expression, trying to reach her, like she was a wild animal ready to run, she relaxed.

“I’m sorry, Clarke. It’s not you I’m angry at… it’s just… stuff from my past.”  She stared at the floor. “I didn’t know Anya had an Instagram. I’m sorry.”

“Can I hug you?”

Lexa’s eyes open wide and she stared at Clarke for a moment, blinking a few times.

“Why?”

Clarke smiled and entered Lexa’s personal space.

“Because I want. I like hugging people. So?” the blonde opened her arms and for a Lexa thought about denying Clarke’s request, but looking into those ocean eyes, sparkling with kindness, she knew she couldn’t. She lowered her arms and Clarke took the small step to crash their bodies together, her arms surrounding Lexa’s waist. For a moment Lexa was stunned. It’s been a while since someone except Anya and Lincoln had hugged her. And never a body felt so in place with her own, like two pieces of a puzzle, two perfect halves of something. After the initial shock, Lexa’s arms found Clarke’s midsection and she hugged on tight to the girl. This was something new she didn’t know she craved.

“I am sorry if we crossed a boundary stalking your sister on Instagram…”

Clarke’s raspy voice on her ear made goosebumps on her skin.

“No, I am sorry or the way I acted. Your friends didn’t have to leave. This is their house…”

“Don’t be silly.” Clarke was about to create some space between herself and Lexa so she could see the brunette’s face, but Lexa pulled her close, resting her chin on Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke’s laughter resonated on her ribcage. “You liked the hug, huh?”

“Mmm.” Lexa closed her eyes and smiled at the feeling.

“Good. You can have one every time you need and want, ok?”

A moment later, Lexa loosed her grip on Clarke and starred at her new favorite shade of blue.

They were really close, Clarke’s body was melted against Lexa’s. The brunette was leaning against the counter and Clarke blushed at the intensity which Lexa was gazing her. Their hips were glued together and Lexa’s hands were playing with the hem of her shirt, on her lower back and it was something so simple yet so intimate.

 “Can you show me my sister’s Instagram? I need to see it to try to figure it out why she has something like that.” Clarke agreed and Lexa let the girl go from her embrace. She felt the loss of Clarke’s warm but she needed to know what would drive Anya to expose their private life. Anya was a cop, she told Lexa a million times to be careful online, she didn’t want any scumbag she arrested to try and have any kind of revenge by going after her sister. She told Lexa she could have social media, but to try and give the less information possible, like where they lived, where she studied, places she usually went to. Things like that. So, when Clarke passed her Raven’s phone and Lexa saw the most private moments of her life publish online, all she could see was red. She never gets upset with Anya, but right now she wanted to kill her sister. On Anya’s Instagram were pictures of them since they were kids to last night, pictures of their mother, their achievements in life, especially Lexa’s.

She didn’t realize she was shaking until she felt Clarke’s hand on her own.

“You okay?”

She clenched her jaw, gritting her teeth.

“Can you take me home, please?”

“Yes, of course.”

Clarke sent a quick text to Octavia and grabbed her car’s keys. Lexa followed her to the car. She knew Clarke could see the fight in her head, but the blonde chose to say nothing and just give Lexa some space. She really didn’t deserve a friend like Clarke.

Before Clarke could opened the driver’s door, Lexa let out a loud sigh and placed her hand on Clarke’s, leaning against the car and facing the girl.

“My sister is a cop.” Lexa began and Clarke eyed her. “She needs to be careful with the information she exposes online, because its easy access and she arrested a lot of people and there are people who can hurt her if she isn’t careful with that shit. She always told me that. I never wanted any social media and stuff like that, but she exposed some of our most intimate moments and I can’t understand why. There are pictures of our mother. We hate our mother, why is she telling people she doesn’t know, that our mother would be fifty years old if she was alive? Or telling them I just made to law school? I don’t understand!”

She let her head fall in her hands and let out a trembling breath. Clarke pulled her into her arms, wrapping them around the brunette and rubbing calming circles on her back. Lexa subbed against her.

“You need to talk to your sister. Don’t make assumptions before hearing her out.”

“I know…”

The drive home was quiet, Lexa telling Clarke where to turn and enjoying Clarke’s reassuring squeezes at her knee.

“This is it.” Lexa said. She took Clarke’s hand from her knee and kiss it, looking at those gorgeous blue eyes. “Thank you for an incredible day.”

Clarke stopped the car as her face blushes red. She tries to hide it, looking away but that just made Lexa approach her and kiss the accessible cheek.

“Text me when you get home, Clarke. I want to know you got home safe.”

Clarke nodded her head pithily, unable to say anything. Lexa smiled that annoying smirk and after closing the door of the car she could hear Clarke’s groan, hitting her head on the steering wheel.

“That fucking smirk!”

Clarke drove home, she knew Raven and Octavia will be waiting for her. Both girls eyed her with concern.

“Everything is alright, don’t worry!”

She walked to her room and laid down on the bed, smiling because she could smell Lexa’s shampoo and perfume all over her bed.

**_To Lexa Woods:_ ** _Just got home, Commander. Did you talk to your sister?_

**_From Lexa Woods:_ ** _She’s at the bar. I’ll talk with her in the morning. Thank you again for today, Clarke. You are wonderful._

**_To Lexa:_ ** _You are a charmer!_

**_From Lexa:_ ** _It’s the Woods’ way of life :p_

**_To Lexa:_ ** _Such an Ass! Sleep well, Woods._

**_From Lexa:_ ** _It’s a fine ass and you know it ;) good night, Clarke._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think :) you know where to find me:[http://categolden.tumblr.com/](url)  
> Lexa will always live in our hearts, fanfics, fan arts, we are an extraordinary fandom!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter!! iei!! If you guys see arrow, careful, there are some spoilers in this chapter.  
> Sorry for any mistakes.

Lexa woke up with a smile on her face. Yesterday was a wonderful day, she didn’t knew what was happening but those three girl, specially a blonde, were making her smile and Lexa doesn’t smile. She glances at the clock on her nightstand, it reads 7 am. She quickly gets up and dresses her workout clothes, Lincoln will be at the door in ten minutes. Her sister’s bedroom door is close, so Anya is still asleep. Lexa can’t remember hearing her coming home last night. Their talk could wait until Lexa finished her morning run, as Anya likes to rest and Lexa was already late for her run. She grabbed a banana and a granola bar before walking out of the door.

Lincoln was already outside, stretching as he waited for her.

“Good morning, Lex. You look happy! Anything you want to tell me?”

She look at him, smiling, and sprinted through him.

“If you can catch me, maybe I’ll tell you!”

He threw his arms up and raced behind the girl.

“You know that’s unfair, you are faster than me!”

“Maybe you need to level up, old man.”

His right hand rested against his heart, fake hurt all over his face.

“Okay, fine.” Lexa slowed her pace, so they were running side by side. “Do you remember the blonde girl who helped me on the soccer game?” she saw Lincoln nod his head. “We are becoming quite the friends.”

“Lexa…”

“No Lincoln, not like that. I stopped those, don’t worry.”

Lincoln was the one Lexa called when she needed a ride from her one night stands. Pretty girls she would flirt with at the bar, offering them a night of relief, making them scream her name and then leaving them at dawn or morning. Anya knew about her adventures, she has a lot of her owns and they would talk about it and laugh. That was how the Woods Sisters became famous as they didn’t believe in love and were great at sex, the perfects companions for a night of raw and mind-blowing pleasure. But Lincoln was a romantic sap and tried to stop the sisters, telling them that love was magic and beautiful and it will appear when they least expected. _Love is weakness_. Anya and Lexa would him, they learnt it from their mother, it was her life motto, and for Lexa who had her heart broke into pieces at only seventeen, she knew love was indeed a weakness.

After a while Lexa started to feel emptiness and Lincoln offered to run with her, so that’s how they started this morning routine. Anya started having only a few ‘sleepovers’ and they stopped talking about their sexual activities.

“So, tell me more about the blonde.”

“She has a smile that could light up a room. I know it’s silly and a cliché but she has a really pretty smile. And a low voice that makes me shiver and the best thing is that she never pushes me. If I tell her something about myself she lights up but doesn’t ask for more and I love that. I feel so at ease around her. She already treats me like she knows me for years and it’s awesome!” Lexa was smiling and jumping and Lincoln laughed at her. “What?”

“You look like a child who made a friend at kindergarten!” Lexa pout as they slowed down their pace to start stretching and Lincoln ruffled her hair. “I am happy for you, Lex. She sounds great and she was able to deal with your panic attack at the game. That’s not easy.”

A sad smile appear on Lexa’s face, but she shrug it away. “I know, she’s special.”

“Are you going to start hanging out with her and leaving me?”

“I don’t think Clarke can follow up with us, but don’t worry, I’ll always have time for you, old man!”

Forty-five minutes had pass and they were standing at Lexa’s front door, again.

“See you tomorrow, Lex.”

Lexa opened the door and her sister was at the stove, cooking some breakfast.

“Good morning, kid. Go take a shower, breakfast will be ready in ten.”

The brunette nodded, picking up her protein shake and walking to the bathroom.

When she exit her room, ready for another day of classes, Anya was reading the newspaper and drinking her coffee. Lexa sat in front of her sister, her plate full of eggs, oatmeal pancakes and some fruit. She had a few bites before looking at Anya.

“We need to talk…” she didn’t knew how to start this but she had to. Anya rose her eyes from the newspaper and leaned forward, to look at her little sister.

“About?”

“I know you have an Instagram full of personal pictures and information. Do you want to tell me why?”

Anya was calm as she ever. She studied her sister.

“How do you know?”

“Clarke’s friend showed me.”

“Hum”. Anya hummed in recognition. “Raven Reyes.”

“Yes.”

“What do you want me to tell you?”

Lexa groan, her sister knew how to push her buttons. You can’t fight fire with fire and Anya and Lexa were so alike that was enervating.

“Why do you have one? You always told me to be careful because of the guys you helped put away and then I see you going against all that. What a hypocritical to turn out to be.” Lexa didn’t mean to sound so judgmental, but she was pissed.

“First of all, careful with what you are about to say.” Anya pointed her index finger to Lexa. “Second, I never forbidden you to have one, just to be careful. I recognized Raven as the girl in crutches at the game and she is easy on the eyes, so why not? Third, I am very careful with who I allow access to my account. Some friends from police academy, some people from the city and some from the bar. Now, you want to tell me why did you take it so personal?”

Lexa was shaking with nerves.

“I didn’t take it personal!”

“Yes, you did. You know how proud I am of you, that never was a problem when I boast you to the people I know, so why this?”

“I know why you did it! You want him to notice you. Us. You never gave up!” she rose from her seat, her hands throw up in the air as she paced around the kitchen table. “Why can’t you let it go? He gave up on us! As soon as she took us away he stopped caring!”

“You don’t know that!” it was only a whisper, but Lexa heard it clearly and stopped, hands on the table as she looked at her sister, who picked up the newspaper again, hidden behind the gigantic pages. “He searched for us, I saw the police file for missing persons, in New York, but he didn’t had any family connections to us or mom, that’s why it never was more than a paper in a pile. He loved us, Lexa.” Anya folded the newspaper and laid it on the table. She looked at Lexa who was shaking, all her demons begin to surface. Her knuckles were white from grabbing the table, trying to control herself. It stung with pain, seeing her little sister like this. Anya knew she was right, she never gave up on finding the man that raised them. She missed him, all this years she wanted to run away, to New York and search for him, but first Lexa was too little and later she had given up and she couldn’t leave her sister behind. Anya rose from her chair and stood in front of her sister. “He was your father, I know you don’t remember him, but he was kind and funny and the best father any of us could had. And if mom wasn’t so selfish, our lives could had turn out so different.” Anya felt tears on her eyes and Anya doesn’t cry. She has this stoic posture, just as Lexa. They were cold and blank but somethings can crack the sisters. Their childhood was one.

Lexa felt her own tears moistening her eyes. She allow Anya to approach her and hug her.

“I remember some things. Clarke and her friends are from New York and she cooked pizza yesterday and as I ate it, I remember a brick wall, a tv and Disney movies playing in the background. You and him at the piano and mom dancing as the princesses in the movies. I remembered.” Her voice fading between her cries.

“Oh, Lexa. I am so sorry.” Anya lamented. “I wish I could erase our past, but it was what made us stronger, you know?” she stroke away the tears on her little sister’s eyes and cupped her face, bringing their foreheads together. “If you want me to delete that, I will, but I liked it. You have no idea about the workouts and healthy food people post.” The tease lighted up the mood, as both sisters were smiling.

“I am sorry for busting like this.” Lexa sigh but Anya pulled her closer.

“I am used to this. You want a ride to campus?”

“If you don’t mind.”

As Anya picked her stuff, Lexa breathe out. This was a lot for Lexa to take in. She knew about her possible father, she remembers little pieces of him, but after years and years of wanting for him to come and rescue them from foster care, that hope was replaced by anger. Anya never lost hope but Lexa didn't realize how far her hope had took her. For the longest time, Anya wanted to go to NY and search for him. Lexa never agreed, her sister would feel hurt but Lexa was bitter. He abandoned them. He left that woman taken them and never looked for them. They were alone for all this years, they made it out, they didn't need him.

His name was Aaron, a photographer for a fashion magazine, played the piano and made silly voices when reading her night stories. That's what she remembers. Lexa never told Anya but she also hoped and dreamed about meeting him but that dream stopped when she turned 14.

Only their mother and… Aaron, made them this vulnerable.

“Ready to go?”

Lexa nodded and followed Anya to their car.

“Are we good?” Anya asked, before starting the car. Lexa nodded, her signature move and Anya let her be, she knew better than force her sister to talk. “Well, I guess I should tell you that I also participate on a photography site with some of the pics I take…” Lexa turned her head to look at her sister. “Don’t worry, it’s safe and there aren’t pictures of us… just some shit I see on the street.” Anya rushed to explain, before her sister could question it.

“You always liked photography.” Lexa smiled, easing the air between them. “Did you find anything about Aaron?” she didn’t wanted to ask, but the curiosity was eroding her.

It was normal, right? Everyone wants to know where they came from. Lexa may not wanted to meet the man again, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t curious.

“I didn’t. It’s like he disappeared after mom took us. Every time I google his name, I only find his old photoshoots. There are some pics of mom, too… if you want to look at it…” Anya was unsure how to address this, they never talked about their childhood. Lexa didn’t remember much from before the foster houses and the things that happened there were taboo. Unwittingly, Anya stared at the scars in the back of her right hand. 

Lexa caught her sister’s eyes and lowed her head in shame. Still after all this time, she couldn’t bare the guilt that rushed through her every time she looked at Anya’s hand.

The sisters remained quiet the rest of the small ride. Both caught up with feelings that they didn’t want to confront. So typical of them.

Anya stopped the car in front of the Law building and turned to her sister, sighing heavily.

“I know that face, Lexa. I won’t force you to talk to me, because I know I am the reason for that mood, but… call Lincoln or Indra, they are there for you.” Lexa stare at Anya, before nodding, ready to leave the car, but Anya caught her wrist, making her little sister face her. “Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay to feel, to let go. Just… come back home to me, Lexa…”

Lexa turned her head, looking at her tight fist around the door handle, her jaw clenched as she gritted her teeth, trying to hide the pain.

“I’ll see you at home, don’t worry.” Although her voice was blank, it was a promise. She exited the car and closed the door, looking one last time to her sister. Anya was biting her lip, her eyes lost, staring into nothing. She took a deep breath and walked away.

She was so lost on her thoughts she didn’t even remember entering her classroom, but she sat on the front row and opened her notebook to take notes as the professor talked. Half time had passed when Lexa felt her phone vibrate on her pocket. She sighed, she really didn’t want to talk her feelings. The message notification with Clarke’s name was glowing on the screen and it made Lexa smile.

**_From Clarke:_ ** _Hey. How’s everything?_

And now Lexa was smiling like crazy, that stung on her stomach as she read the message over and over again. How could just a simple question lit up her mood like magic?

**_To Clarke:_ ** _Meh. U?_

**_From Clarke:_ ** _Meh? What happened? You wanna talk?_

**_To Clarke:_ ** _No, thank you. I am fine, really. Just… it was a lot to take in._

**_From Clarke:_ ** _I am here if you want to talk okay? Are you in class?_

**_To Clarke:_ ** _Thank you, Clarke. Yes, why?_

**_From Clarke:_ ** _Sorry for interrupting :/ wanna grab lunch with me? I’ll be at the cafeteria from 1 to 2pm._

  ** _To Clarke:_** _I’ll be there :)_

From that moment forward, Lexa didn’t take any notes, no, all she could think was a blonde girl and her stunning smile. So, when the professor gave them the permission to leave class, Lexa ran to the cafeteria, where she found the blonde, resting against the entrance, her backpack lazily slung on her shoulder and eyes locked on her phone.

As awareness, Clarke lift her eyes and found her favorite shade of green looking at her. She instantly smile, closing the distance between them, kissing the brunette’s cheek and throwing her arms around her neck.

“Hi there.”

Lexa felt all her tension slip away the moment Clarke embraced her.

“Hello, Clarke.” She breathed the familiar scent of lavender, her hands crossing behind the blondes back. They stayed like that, holding each other, a little too long for friends, but Lexa needed it and she didn’t want to think behind that.

Clarke was on the tips of her feet and when she untangled her arms from Lexa’s neck, she stared at vulnerable eyes, noticing the breath of relief that Lexa exhaled. She grinned, grabbing the brunette’s hand and dragging her to the chaos that was the cafeteria on lunch hour.

Each of them grabbed a tray, waiting in line. Clarke kept turning her head to observe the brunette, smiling fondly at the girl. She could see Lexa’s jaw tense up, like she did whatever something was bothering her. She brushed their shoulders, breaking Lexa from her thoughts.

“I’m here, Lex.”

The brunette nodded and Clarke leaned against her front, knowing how Lexa needed a touch to feel grounded. It didn’t take long until she felt a hand around her waist and a chin on her shoulder. Every step they took, they would detach, but always finding themselves in that same position the moment they could. They walked hand in hand to an empty table, outside the cafeteria. The cold of the beginning of November brushing against their cheeks, but neither one of them felt it, as their cheeks were blooming. They sat on each side of the table, front to front in comfortable silence, until Clarke grabbed a French fry from Lexa’s plate.

“Hey! I was saving them for last.” Lexa whined but the curved sides of her lips didn’t went missing by the blonde.

“Who saves the best for last? If you feel full before eating it, you’ll miss the best part!” Clarke reasoned, stealing another fry.

Lexa shrugged, she really couldn’t fight the wide smile that formed on her face. She gave up and picked up a fry, extending her hand, so the blonde could grab it, but Clarke leaned forward and took the fry, her lips and teeth brushing Lexa’s finger, making the brunette gasp.

Leaning against the back of the chair, Clarke smirked victorious, watching the brunette take in a breath.

“You don’t play fair!”

Clarke leaned forward again, playing with a curl of her hair in a flirty way.

“And here I thought I would be the one being charming by the best looking woods sister.”

Clarke saw the change on Lexa’s mood as she mentioned the other sister. She looked down, defeated and Clarke searched for the brunette’s hand that was resting on the table. She gave it a squeeze that Lexa had learned that meant to look at her eyes.

And Lexa did it. She found the most beautiful blue eyes that looked just like the sky on a sunny and happy day, with that twinkle of magic. Clarke didn’t push her, but she understood.

“So… my conversation with my sister, today, was not one of the best. We cried, I was a little bit of a mess and she feels guilty. We don’t talk about our childhood.”

Lexa was having a hard time controlling her feelings, the noise of the cafeteria was driving her crazy, plus the feeling of her heavy heart.

She didn’t notice her body beginning to shake or how tight she held Clarke’s hand. But Clarke noticed. She noticed all: the green eyes filled with remorse and guilt that gleamed with tears ready to fall, the breaths that started coming quickly like sobs. She saw it all. So, she stood up, without letting out of Lexa’s hand, placing her backpack on her shoulder and picking up the trays, before dragging the broken girl with her.

The sun was bright and if you stayed in the same place for a while, it started to feel warm, so that’s what Clarke did. She found them a quiet sunny spot on the grass and sat. Lexa stared at her, still holding her hand. Clarke opened her legs and patted on the grass between them, urging Lexa to sit, but the brunette tilted her head, confused and uncertain. Clarke rolled her eyes and pulled her down, making Lexa unsteady and forcing her to the ground. Once she settled between the blonde’s legs, Lexa felt Clarke’s arms around her shoulders, pulling her back against the blonde’s front. She tensed, a lot, but Clarke’s voice on her ear and the gentle rocking the blonde had started made Lexa crumble. The tears on her eyes ran freely as they never did. She cried for a long time, Clarke never lost her grip on her, telling smooth words and humming a soft lullaby. They didn’t care about the people that walked passed them and stared. They were on a bubble, lost from the world around them. When she felt she was starting to calm down and her sobs were turning into whimpers, she cleaned her tears to her sleeve and was about to get up, when Clarke held her down.

“Don’t run away. It’s okay, I am here.”

“I am sorry for being this mess…”

Clarke laughed. “Please introduce me to someone who isn’t a mess. Today I am here for you, tomorrow you’ll be there for me. This is friendship.”

And Lexa smiled, because she never had a friend and here it was, a girl that gives and gives and asks nothing in return. She relaxed against Clarke, but she still didn’t feel like facing the girl, so she stared at the world around them, as she played with the grass under her hands. She didn’t know why she confided in Clarke, when it went against her nature, but the words came pouring out of her.

“My sister has this hope that my father will search for us on social media. That’s why she has an Instagram. She never lost her faith, even after sixteen years. We argued because I want nothing to do with him, but she doesn’t quit.”

Clarke’s sprockets were working restless on her mind.

“Your father? I am sorry. I assumed that he was…”

“Dead?” Lexa said deadpan. She paused and then sighed. “I should start from the beginning. My mother was a top model. Beautiful and dangerous. She had everybody at her feet. Then she got pregnant with Anya and she never recovered her figure. The agencies calling started to be fewer and then none, so she started working as a photography model. That’s where she met Aaron. He was a photographer for some of the magazines that hired her. She moved, with Anya, to his apartment. Anya swears that he’s my father. Same green eyes, same smile, same brown hair, whatever. All I know is that I came along and my mom couldn’t get a job on modeling and with Aaron traveling around the world to photograph models that weren’t her, she started to grow bitter and jealous. So, one day she made us pack our things and leave, while he was in Europe. We were living in a motel, she had run out of money, we were starving, I was sick and always crying and she broke. She left us on the motel lobby, went back to our room and killed herself.” Lexa shrugged. This story, her story, didn’t do nothing to her. She didn’t cry anymore about it. “That’s how we ended up on foster care. Anya told the police and the social workers that our father was in New York, that he would come for us, but he never did. His name wasn’t in my birth certificate, so they couldn’t verify the truth. At the eyes of the law, he was a stranger to us.” She felt a pair of lips on her shoulder and leaned against the comfort that they provided. “Anya rebelled. She said I cried for weeks. I don’t remember, our first foster home was not the best… But today she told me she saw a missing persons file, with our names on it and our mother, made by Aaron. She googled his name but she found nothing. Only old articles with his photographs.”

“And the Instagram?” Clarke didn’t wanted to push, but Lexa felt like a little girl on her arms and she melted at this side of her.

“When I saw the pictures on it, I knew why. She had Aaron on a pedestal. He taught her piano and photography. Hobbies that she carried on until now. She still wants to find him. I don’t. I understand her, but it doesn’t hurt any less that she doesn’t think I am enough. That our little family is enough. So she has to find him.” Lexa let out a defeated sigh. “I know that I am not the easiest sister, that I screwed her life, that our mother came to a break because I was born, I understand all of that, but I’ve been trying so hard to be the best for her and I feel that she’s always slipping away.” She buried her face on her hands, her tears beginning again.

Clarke broke at the sight of Lexa. She held her tight before tilting her body so she could cup Lexa’s face on her hands.

“I don’t believe that Anya feels like that, for even a second.” She cleaned the tears away with the pads of her thumbs. “And you, you are the most caring person I have ever met.” Lexa didn’t believe in Clarke’s words and tried to look away, but the blonde didn’t let her. “Let me lawyer up to you. Exhibit A: even before we met face to face, you were kind and always worried about me and I was only a girl you met online.” Clarke was counting with her fingers and Lexa smiled at her antics.  “Exhibit B: you faced your noise demons so I could check upon Raven. You could had easily dispatch me and go your way. Exhibit C: you walked me home, you made me text you when I got home…”

“Okay, okay, I surrender.” She took Clarke’s hands on hers, staring at own perfectly they fit together and brought them to her lips. “I think you are the only person that sees me that way.” She was shaking but it was a different kind of shaking, a good kind, she felt overwhelmed. She still haven’t lift her eyes, she was afraid to look at Clarke after such a display of emotions. She glimpsed up, though her eyelashes and found Clarke’s eyes beaming her with adoration. Her slim and long fingers ran through the blonde’s face, resting on her neck, their foreheads touched. She could feel Clarke’s breath on her lips. She closed her eyes and let all her walls down.

The bell on the campus’s tower rang and startled them, making them jump away from each other.

“Fuck, I am late.”

“Me too.”

They rose to their feet, staring at each other, blushing. Clarke found Lexa’s hand, the one that wasn’t scratching the brunette’s neck and grabbed it, smoothing the back with her thumb.

“I’ll call you after class, okay?” Clarke shyly asked and Lexa tilted her head, her heart racing at the possible meaning of the words. “To see how you are…” The short intakes of breath scared Clarke, so she justified her need to call the brunette. “And to talk about the project.”

Lexa nodded, before turning around and pacing to her class, Clarke went the other way, but they both had one thing in their minds.

 

Clarke entered her apartment exhausted, her eyes were tired and dry and her head was throbbing. She let her backpack fall by the door and groaned. Octavia leaned back on the chair and caught her eyes, surprising her. Now that she's thinking about it, Octavia may had claimed that chair for herself because it was the spot where you could see everything in the house and Octavia was a curious little critter.

"You look awful, what happened?"

Clarke sighed as she walked to the kitchen and grabbed an apple. She saw that her roommates had eaten, but she didn't had it in her to eat after the day she had. She only wanted to curl up in bed.

"Microscope, the smell of the dead, you name it!" Noticing that they were playing, she approached them. "Playing?"

"Yes. Lexa's on. She told us to go to her sister's bar, on Friday. Are you up to it?"

A smile appeared on the blonde's face as a warm feeling filled her, making her shoulders relax. The green eyed brunette started to have that effect on her.

"Yeah, sure." She bite the apple. "I'm going to take a shower and head to bed. See you guys tomorrow."

Both brunettes nodded and turned their eyes back to the screens.

Clarke turned the shower on, taking her clothes off and throwing them away, because, well, they smell and she hates it. She should be used to it, her mother came home with blood and other fluids  all over her and Clarke and her dad would made fun of her and if it was a hard day, cuddled her (after she showered, obviously).

She got under the water, feeling relief and her tense muscles relaxing. She closed her eyes and her mind roamed, all she could think about were those plump lips almost touching hers and how good they must feel. She knew Lexa was lean, she felted her muscles every time she leaned against the girl. And those gorgeous legs that went for days until they ended in the most perfect ass that she ever laid eyes on.

She pressed her tights together trying to ease some of her pressure but it was in vain.

Under the steaming water, her hand traveled down her body until it found the place that screamed for Lexa. She spread her folders, closing her eyes and thinking about those beautiful lips as she kissed them, and the brunettes jaw, nibbling it and devouring her neck while ripping Lexa's shirt. She was already wet, she shrugged when her hand found her throbbing bud. Groaning at the feeling of her fingers caressing her cleft and coming back to circle the clit. Trembling with hot pleasure, she steady herself with one hand on the wall, while two fingers of the other entered her sex, reaching that sweet spot on her front wall that she knew would easily and quickly take her over the edge. Just a few more strokes and she moaned Lexa's name, resting her head against the wall with a content smile while her mind was fogged with pictures of the brunette.

She cleaned herself, dried her hair, picked up her phone and rushed to her room, putting on her favorite fluffy pajama and slipped beneath the covers. Starting her night rituals with setting her alarm for the day after, she saw the three new messages on her phone. Getting comfortable on her bed, she dialed the number that texted her, grinning as she waited for the other girl to pick up.

_“Hello?”_

“Hi!” the pitched and strident greeting made Clarke roll her own eyes. Nice way to show you’re not excited, but that went away when she heard the chuckle on the other side.

_“Hello, Clarke. How are you feeling? I heard you talking to Octavia. Do you want me to come over?”_

She was stunned back by the offering, smiling and tucking herself more in the covers, feeling warm by the girl’s preoccupation. Or maybe it was the heat on her cheeks, either way, it was because of Lexa.

“No, I’m fine, really. Just need to rest…” She could easily tease the brunette a little. But after their almost kiss… Should she let things flow? Maybe it’s the best. She really likes Lexa, there was no denying that now, but maybe they should be just friends. “So, I heard we are _all_ going out Friday night?”

_“Well, I know how Octavia wants to meet Lincoln, and he’s always at the bar Friday’s nights with me, so I thought that maybe all of us could hang out? What do you think? Good idea or I stepped over my boundaries?”_

“Lex… It’s a great idea. I am happy you thought of us… and that you’re helping Octavia.” they both chuckle and Clarke rolled on her bed, facing the celling. Yeah, she can’t be just this girl’s friend. She wants more. “What are you doing?”

_“Relaxing on the beach...”_

“Lexa…”´

_“Sorry, I am watching Arrow. And you?”_

“Is Sara on it? I’m already in bed.”

_“No, she has her own show now. How long ago did you stop watching?”_

Clarke roll to her side, anchoring her head on her elbow. “They killed her and I’m tired of shows killing lgbt characters, so I stopped watching.”

_“I shouldn’t spoil you, but she has such a great character that they brought her back, with her own show.”_

“And Nyssa?”

_“Nyssa is Ra's al Ghul and she told Sara that she would wait for her. I stop watching for a while but, meh, now I watch because I have nothing better to do.”_ Clarke smiled, she loved listening Lexa talk about this shows. _“Clarke are you still there?”_

“Sorry, I zoomed out for a little…”

_“Am I boring you?”_ Lexa’s voice was small and barely a whisper. Like a child afraid she did something wrong and Clarke’s heart sank at that.

“No, baby, of course not!” baby? What the fuck, Clarke!? She mentally slapped herself. Lexa didn’t say a word and Clarke rushed in, changing the subject. “So, we need to talk about the project. I’ve been googling stuff, I’ll show it to you Friday, is that okay? If not, we could arrange another day. I can’t tomorrow, I have classes all day…”

_“Clarke!”_ the blonde stopped her babble. _“Damn girl, you can talk real fast!_ ” the brunette chuckled before continuing. _“I’ll see it Friday, okay? Maybe we could grab lunch together and then work on the project…_

“I would like that very much, Lexa.” She could hear the relieved sigh that lexa exhale and could imagine the girl, a smile that mimic hers.

_“Good. I am going to let you sleep, now. Good night, Clarke.”_

She wanted to fight it, she really did, but she was tired and Lexa’s appealing voice was like a lullaby.

“ ‘kay. Good night, Lex.”

She fell asleep with a content smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it. Tell me what you think and what you are hopping it will happen.  
> Next chapter will have a little bit of Ranya and Linctavia.  
> see you next time ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, people who read this :) at least I hope there are some of you! I know I missed a few updates but I was in Milan and Venice and couldn't find time to write :/ But today is my birthday and I wanted to give you guys a treat.  
> As some of you know, this is based on real life events and there's an important scene in this chapter that meant a lot to me. Hope you guys like it.

Friday morning seemed to take long to arrive this week, because every time Clarke closed her eyes, she couldn’t fall asleep, she was eager to see Lexa. They texted through Thursday every chance they had, but that wasn’t the same. She missed the brunette’s smile, the elegant face, and the breathtaking eyes. She finished her breakfast in record time and flew to school, arriving earlier to the Ethical Class and seating on her usual spot. Nervously, she took her sketch book out, drawing the blackboard and the professor’s desk, trying to keep her mind busy from the upcoming brunette. She was so focused she didn’t hear her seating next to her.

“That looks good. Maybe you should put a monocle on the professor. He looks like someone who could pull out one.”

Clarke lifted her gaze from her drawing to look at the girl she’s been missing like hell. A rush of warm spread through her body and she throw her arms around the brunette.

“Hey.” She breathed her perfume, holding the girl a little bit tight and feeling her arms around her, embracing her with a want that matched hers.

“If you keep hugging me like that, I’ll get addicted.”

Letting go of the hug, she inspected the brunette. “Lexa Woods addicted to my hugs? That’s something I would like to see.”

If Lexa understood the double meaning of her words, she didn’t show it. She searched for the papers she had been gathering for their project and gave them to Lexa, missing the quiet smirk the brunette gave her.

The professor started the class, but Lexa finished reading the papers Clarke gave her. She hated this class, the professor was boring and her colleagues sounded like high schoolers discussing what the new fashion trend is. They didn’t have an objective mind and opinions about nothing. But the blonde on her side made everything tolerable. She was still drawing, the tip of her tongue pressed against the right corner of her lips. Lexa rested in her seat and smiled. She saw the blonde’s hand resting between them and thought about placing hers on top of it.

It feels ordinary to do it like it’s nothing much. They have held hands before, it’s something they do, so why was she feeling so nervous about doing it? Her fears were catching up on her, she wasn’t someone that expressed her feelings and she didn’t like other people invading her personal space. She only felt relaxed around Anya and Lincoln and now Clarke. But Clarke was special, she really liked Clarke, but she was afraid to let go. Her mind rushed between Lincoln’s speech about how magic love is and her mother’s _love is weakness_ moto. The only time she let herself feel, it ended up in heart break. But Clarke wasn’t Costia. Costia never hugged her like this or held her while she cried. Clarke has a beautiful heart and… Fuck it. She would not think too much about this. She grabbed Clarke’s hand and intertwine their fingers. Holding her breath, she waited for Clarke’s reaction, but when the blonde turned her head, smiling at her, with a little blush on her cheeks, Lexa relaxed and celebrate with a small smirk.

Lexa had her notebook on her lap, her left hand still holding Clarke’s and now and then they would brush their thumbs. She was content with a feeling like this, but when Clarke leaned against her side, her heart raced.

“This class is so boring! Can we leave?”

Lexa chuckled. “You are one to talk! You’ve been drawing all this time.”

“I lost inspiration.” Clarke pouted and Lexa had to control herself so she didn’t kiss it.

“Can I see it?”

Clarke nodded and picked her sketchbook from the table, showing it to Lexa.

“You did draw the monocle! It looks really good, Clarke. Can I see the other drawings?” She started turning the pages of the book, mesmerized by the way Clarke captured the world around them. She stopped when she recognize herself in one page. “It’s me!”

Clarke detached from Lexa’s side “oh! Uhh… that’s a…” she let go of Lexa’s hand and rub them on her tights, looking at the brunette, nervous and afraid. “It’s not finished, yet…”

With her mouth agape and looking startled, Lexa wanted to say something, but her mouth was dry. The drawing on her shaking hands, she looked around, their classmates started to leave the classroom. She handed the sketchbook back at Clarke, who had her head low and cheeks red.

She grabbed her things, getting up and extending her hand to Clarke, who accepted, still feeling small and shy. 

“Fuck, it’s raining! Where’s your car?”

“With Raven! Why is it raining?”

“Well, Clarke, it’s the middle of November. We’re lucky this year, the rain came late than last year.”

“Well, weather girl, I don’t have my car or an umbrella. So how do you wanna do this?”

Lexa bit her lip, the rain wasn’t in her plans. She wanted to take Clarke for a walk and get lunch at that little café in the square with paintings in all the walls that she knew Clarke would love.

“Wanna go to my house? I’ll cook something for lunch and we can stay there and study.”

Clarke smirked, looking to Lexa, whose ears and cheeks were turning red.

Watching the blonde smirk, Lexa rolled her eyes, tugging Clarke to the bus stop.

As every other raining day, the bus was full, so they had to stand, Lexa holding Clarke tight so she didn’t fall while balancing herself. Clarke couldn’t complain much with Lexa involving her in a protective way, she felt like pudding. She even helped her stepping out of the bus.

“My sister is home.”

“Oh. Is that a problem?”

“No, no. I’m just afraid she’ll embarrass me.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t let her… not tell me about your best stories.”

“Clarke!” Lexa whined, but she knew she was doomed. Anya and Clarke would team up against her. She made a note to get revenge later, with Octavia and Raven.

“Anya?” Lexa entered the house, taking her coat and asking Clarke to give hers so they could dry. Holding Clarke’s hand she guided them to the small kitchen, where Anya was eating.

“Hey, kid. You brought a guest?” Anya stood up and offered her hand to Clarke. “Clarke, right?” the blonde nodded. “Well, I just finished, the kitchen is all yours.”

She walked past them and grabbed her uniform’s jacket and hat. “I finish my shift at 7 pm and I need to be at the bar at 9, if you need something or if you’re going out, don’t forget to tell me, okay?”

“Yes, Anya.”

She stood there, watching both girls with a smirk. “Don’t do nothing I wouldn’t do.” she adjusted her hat and left.

“Anya!”

Clarke smiled and after she heard the door close, she went to the brunette and took her hands out of her face.

“Your sister is intimidating. You are just so cute.”

Lexa gave Clarke her best not amused look but the blonde chuckled and tucked a strand of brown hair behind Lexa’s ear, kissing her cheek. She looked around and sat on the chair next to her.

“So, chef, what are you cooking me?”

 

* * *

  

They were sitting on Lexa’s room and Clarke was fascinated by how much Lexa it was. Everything was spotless, the clothes, the books, all organized, but there weren't any pictures, nothing personal and it made Clarke sad.

“Okay, so I think we are almost ready to present this, what do you think?”

Lexa brought Clarke from her daydreaming.

“What? Sorry, Lex, I zoomed out.”

The brunette frowned. “That’s happening a lot when you’re with me. Already tired of my company?”

Clarke jumped from her place on the ground and kissed the brunette’s cheek before laying on the bed. “Never. Can we watch a movie or something?”

Lexa smiled and closed her books. “Of course, Clarke, anything you want.” She dragged her monitor to the front of the desk and turned on the speakers. “What do you want to see?”

As Clarke shrugged, Lexa chose the movie and leaned back on the bed, with a blanket for them.

They were in the first ten minutes of the movie when Clarke snuggle against Lexa’s side. Her face nestled on the curve of the brunette’s neck and an arm around her waist.

“Clarke, you can’t see the movie like that…”

“Shh… I need a nap.”

She settled better, her leg across Lexa’s leg and she griped the girl tighter. Lexa sighed, defeated and brought the smaller girl closer, kissing the top of her head. It didn’t take long for Clarke to fall asleep, her breathing tickling Lexa’s neck. The brunette didn’t pay much attention to the movie. She felt content with her current position, massaging Clarke’s scalp and observing the blonde’s soft lips as she sleeps. If she could freeze time, it would be in this moment.

She wakes up to a kiss on her chin that makes her tremble, as she opens her eyes wide, but when things get clearly and she realizes where she is, she relaxes.

“Hey, everything okay?” Clarke asks, afraid she startled the girl. Lexa nodded, still a little bit surprised. “It’s 6:30, I thought we could cook something for your sister and then I’ll ask Raven and Octavia to pick us up before going to the bar.”

“You and your cooking, woman.” Lexa stretched, rubbing her eyes and Clarke just watched in awe. Waking up on Lexa’s arms felt so good, she couldn’t even put it in words. She had waked up with Lexa unsteady breath under her, the girl must be having a nightmare.

Lexa looked profoundly at blue eyes and smiled. “Hi.”

“Hello to you, too. So what do you say to my idea? I can make pizza.”

“Are you trying to buy my sister?”

“No, why? Do I need to buy her? She doesn’t like me?”

Lexa sat on the bed and she didn’t know how it happened, but Clarke was straddling her. They both blushed when they realized their position and Lexa, being Lexa, had to have an asshole comment.

“Now, this is something I haven’t seen in a while. Blonde girl straddling me, on my bed, damn if I am not lucky.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, growling and lifting herself from the bed. “Nice way to sound like a douche, Woods.”

And that hit her like a slap. “Wait, Clarke.” She stopped the girl by tugging her wrist. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. You are right, I am a douche.”

She looked at the floor, ashamed and missed the smile on Clarke’s face. She tugged the girl down and straddled her again, tickling her.

“Woods, you better learn that if I ever get you under me, you’ll be lucky, indeed. Screaming my name and begging…” she wiggled her legs, while Lexa squirm under her, laughing. The brunette had enough and in a smooth and swift movement, switched them, pinning Clarke to the bed with her body and holding her hands above her head.

“Believe me, Griffin, you’ll be the one screaming.” She leaned down, stopping just a few inches before Clarke’s lips. She could see the girl holding her breath, but Lexa grinned and kissed her cheek before letting her go and standing up, laughing.

“Asshole!”

“You started it! I just finished, because I never leave a girl hanging” she blinked her eye playfully at Clarke. “Come, I was promised pizza.”

Clarke rose from the bed and jumped at Lexa’s back. The brunette stumbled a little but hold her tights with strong hands.

“To the kitchen!”

When Anya arrived home, she was greeted by a smiling Lexa, with flour on her cheeks and nose, chasing Clarke before grabbing the girl, lifting her and tickling her.

She was frozen. Anya never saw her sister like this. She had seen her with Costia, but they never were this ease and playful and full of life. Lexa had this smile on her face and glow all around her and Anya was so proud she felt tears in her eyes.

“Keep it PG on common areas, please!” she teased and watched both girls looking at her with horror.

Lexa dropped Clarke, whose cheeks were so red she tried to hide behind Lexa, but the brunette kept her arm around her, easing her by kissing her temple.

“Hey sis, we made dinner.”

“Well, let’s eat then!”

They sat on the small table, in the kitchen, Lexa held the chair for Clarke, who blushed even more and dropped her head, avoiding eye contact with Anya, who just stood there, smiling at them. Lexa took the pizza from the oven and place it on the table, cutting some slices and serving then.

“OH. MY. GOD” Anya moaned after tasting the first bite of her slice. “Clarke, this is new York on a slice. How can you…” she turned to Lexa. “Don’t let this one go! Finally you found a good one.”

“Anya!” Lexa stopped her sister before she said something that made them uncomfortable. “Clarke and I are just friends.”

Anya reclined in her chair, blinking her eyes in surprise, before coming back to her stoic persona.

“Clarke, if I marry you, will you cook me this, every day?”

“ANYA!!!” Lexa screamed, letting her head rest on her hand. Her sister was an asshole.

Clarke stared at Anya, before throwing her head back, laughing. “You have a deal, Anya!”

“Yes!” the older blonde woman throw her first in the air, celebrating. “You are my new favorite person.”

“Hey! Thank you so much for the consideration, asshole.” Lexa crossed her arms against her chest, sinking into her chair and pouting.

“Like you were my favorite person.”

“What?”

“Well, now Clarke is, then maybe Lincoln or Indra, then my captain, the barista at the coffee shop, the old man that I always help cross the street…”

Anya stopped when she felt a foot kicking her under the table.

“Thanks a lot, asshole.”

Anya shrugged.

Clarke was watching amused the interaction between the sisters. “Don’t worry Lex, you are my favorite.”

“Yeah?” Lexa looked so hopeful that it sting Clarke to do this.

“Of course. After Octavia, Raven, Anya…”

Lexa threw her arms up, giving up as both blondes laughed.

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure it's okay for us to go without them?" Lexa turned to Clarke, who was in the backseat, sending Octavia and Raven a text, informing them to meet her at the bar.

"Yes, Lexa, don't worry, they are big girls, they won't get lost... Probably."

Lexa grumbled something and stared at the front. Clarke heard Anya's chuckle. When the older woman offered to take them with her to the bar, Clarke accepted right away. It was easy for them and they didn't have to wait for Octavia and Raven, who were late, as always.  She studied Lexa, the moonlight was illuminating all her right angles. The cheekbones, the jawline, the curve of her nose and the profile of her lips. Her green eyes sparked with something Clarke couldn't identify but she was mesmerized by all of it. She was eager to draw the girl. Lexa was beautiful under any light. Always so well dressed, with little makeup but enough to make her stand in the crowd. Clarke noticed all day long how those beautiful long legs looked so good on the leggings Lexa was wearing, along with the oversized cardigan and shirt. She looked down at herself and she didn't look bad, but she would never look as good as Lexa, or Anya. Damn those Woods genes.

The bar where Anya works wasn't what Clarke had imagined. She didn't know what she imagined but this wasn't definitely it. The bar send that old rock vibe, all in wood and leather, a pirate flag hanging on the ceiling, the counter was an U on the center, that disappeared to the back where Clarke imagined was the kitchen. At the right and front of the counter were tables, at the left a pool bar and some darts. They walked to the counter, where Anya's partner was drinking a beer.

"Hey, Lincoln." Lexa greeted him. The big man turned and smile as he recognized her, leaving his stool so he could crush Lexa on a bear hug, making Clarke chuckle as she observed them.

"Lincoln please!!" Lexa whined, the tip of her ears red, as she tried to straight herself. The man looked behind her shoulder and noticed Clarke.

"You must be Clarke, I heard a lot about you." He extended his hand to her, smiling as he heard Lexa whine again.

"Lexa, I could hear your whines in the kitchen!" Anya appeared behind the counter. "Clarke, what is your poison?"

"Beer, please."

"Now that's talking! I knew there were reasons to like you besides your cooking. I am going to marry you someday." She winked at Clarke but she couldn't help to smirk at her little sister's annoyed look. If Lexa was a cartoon, there would be smoke coming out of her ears. "And you, Lexa?"

"Piña colada."

Anya blinked her eyes a few times in disbelief as Lincoln laughed. Her sister was a disgrace.

"No fucking way. I am not going to serve you a fucking cocktail! Drink like a woman, Alexandria!"

Lexa grumbled a little and asked for a beer too.

"Don't take it so seriously, you know she's messing with you."

"I know, Lincoln." Lexa smiled devilishly. "So am I."

Lincoln laughed before taking a sip of his beer. Anya arrived with Clarke and Lexa's drinks, giving them a questionable look, but they both shrugged, smiling accomplices.

"So, Clarke, Lexa told me you are studying to be a doctor. How is that going?"

Lexa turned to Clarke, expectant and a little nervous. She didn't know if she should have told things about Clarke to her friend. But the blonde, understanding the twinkle of fears in the brunette's eyes, leaned forward, resting her hand on Lexa's thigh and gave it a small squeeze, before answering Lincoln.

The bar was starting to get crowded and since they were in side to side stools and Clarke had to lean over Lexa and the brunette trembled as her senses were flooded with all things Clarke. The hand massaging her thigh, her perfume, her blonde locks shining at the bar's low light, her low voice casting a spell. She was so close that Lexa could taste the strawberry lipstick.

Breathing deeply, Lexa grabbed her beer and drank it all, tapping the empty glass on the table. If Clarke was going to stand so close to her, she's not going to make to the end of the night before doing something she may regret it later. She needed to put some space between them.

"How about we play some darts while we wait for Octavia and Raven?" She jumped from her stool and paced to the darts machine.

"I am going to call my friends and see why they are taking so long."

Lincoln nodded and grabbed his beer before joining Lexa.

"What's the matter with you?"

Lexa jumped when she heard his voice and look around, searching for Clarke.

"Where's Clarke?"

"She's calling her friends. Wanna tell me why are you so nervous?" Lincoln was smiling because he already knew the answer. He never saw Lexa like this.

"Nervous? I am not nervous!" The high pitched tone that exited Lexa's mouth said otherwise.

Lincoln approached her, his arm around her small shoulders.

"Lexa, it’s okay to be nervous. She is special to you, I can see that. Just take it easy and things will work themselves out."

Lexa let out a sigh, before looking at his sweet brown eyes.

"What if I screw up? I don't do relationships and she deserves the best and I am not it. I never felt like this way before and it scares me. A lot. This is all very recent and I don't know what to do."

"Would you try, for her?"

"What do you mean?"

"Lex, I know Costia broke your heart and the ability to trust people, but you were never one to cheat and you never hurt anyone purposely. So what are you afraid of?"

Lexa shrugged and Lincoln smile encouraging.

"I am afraid to screw up. To lose her. To brake her. I don't know, I never had something good in my life. I know I'll screw it up."

"Well, you never know before you tried it. Secondly, maybe she'll be your first good thing and as you worked your ass to get to college, in a relationship you need to keep working to be happy. Lexa, I know you, you have this fire inside you, you never quit, you are smart and when the right person and right moment comes along, you’ll know it. It won't have fireworks but you'll know."

She nodded her head and grabbed the darts and threw them. They landed on the triple circle of 20, 19 and 18.

"Show off!" Lincoln called, making her smile as she walked to the dartboard, taking her three darts. She gave them to Lincoln, so he could take his shots.

Clarke arrived and noticed Lexa smiling and something in her trembles. She wants to run and claim that smile, she wants to kiss that grumpy girl. She almost did it, but she settles with her arm around Lexa’s waist.

“So, they are almost here. Octavia took a little more getting ready.” She raised her eyebrows, looking at Lincoln. Lexa smiled knowing and her arm rested on Clarke’s shoulder, bringing her close. Clarke smiled as they watch Lincoln throw the darts. She felt intoxicated by Lexa’s sweet perfume.

“Hey, Clarke! You want to throw?” Lincoln asked as he came close to them, handing Clarke the darts. She looks at Lexa who gave her an encouraging nod accompanied with a beautiful smile.

“Okay.” She accepted the darts and place herself behind the line that was painted on the floor. “I never did this before…”

She threw the first dart but it didn’t reach the dartboard. She blushed a little and looked at Lexa, asking for help with her eyes. The brunette came closer and grabbed the fallen dart and Clarke had the amazing view of the most amazing derrière in the world.

“Okay, you need a little more strength so it can reach the board.” Lexa straightened herself up and stared at the dazed look on Clarke’s face. “Clarke, are you alright?”

Clarke licked her lips and nodded.

“Try again, a little harder.”

She did as she was instructed but the dart fell half way to the board. Lexa told her to break the rules and come a little closer to the wall where the board was hanging. Clarke threw the dart again and it reached the wall, but not the board. Lexa tried not to laugh at Clarke’s pout and blushing cheeks.

“Maybe a little closer, after you hit the dartboard, you can take a few steps back until you reach the line?” Lexa rose her shoulder, apprehensive on how to smoothly tell Clarke she sucked.

“You think I can’t do it.” Clarke crossed her arms under her chest and Lexa hurried to her, eyes wide.

“No, no, no. Clarke, you just need training. I’ve been doing this for years and so is Lincoln. You told it yourself, you never did this.” She pointed at the board. “I am going to stand right there.” She pointed at the dart on the wall and walked to stand next to it. “I know you can hit the board, doesn’t matter where. Just hit it.” She paused and look over her shoulder, smirking to Clarke. “Just try and don’t hit me. That thing hurts like a bitch. Breathe. It’s all in the wrist” She pointed at the dart.

Clarke felt the pressure raising and took a step closer, she was a few feet from the board. She looks at Lexa, all flawless against the wall, with her optimistic smile and thumbs up, encouraging her. Clarke took a deep breath before throwing the dart. It almost didn’t land on the board. It landed on the number 11.

“Hey! It’s on the board.”

“See, I knew you could do it!” Lexa rushed the few steps that separated them and hugged Clarke, celebrating this small victory. Clarke enchanting chuckle filled her ears and when they stared at each other’s eyes, there was something that was lingering between them.

“Just kiss her already!”

They startled away from each other as Raven’s voice was heard. Clarke grew in annoyance because every time they were having a moment someone ruins it and she knows that Lexa curses herself for showing a moment of weakness and pulls up her walls again. Just like it was happening. Lexa took a step away from Clarke, straightened up, her hands behind her back.

“Raven, Octavia, glad you could finally join us.” She stepped closer to the girls. “Octavia, do you mind taking my place in the darts game with Lincoln? I am going to bring us some drinks.” She excused herself before walking to the bar and calling Anya.

Clarke watched her leave and smack Raven’s arm, hard.

“Ouch! What was that for?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Was that really necessary?” Clarke was mad and she could see that Raven had no idea what happened. So the blonde sighed and guided raven to a booth next to the game’s area. “Please don’t scare her away. I really like her…”

“I can see that, princess. Why don’t you make a move?” Raven sat next to Clarke, so she could stretch her leg.

“I don’t want to scare her.” the blonde confessed. “She gets really cold whenever we get to that point and she runs. I can’t be the one to take that step.”

“It needs to be her.” Raven acknowledge. “If she takes the next step, do you think she won’t run?”

“I’m getting to know the little deep things about her. She only does things if she is certain of it. Until that, I am going to stay by her side and be her friend.”

Raven smirked a bit. “And woo her with your charms?”

Clarke smile as she leaned her head against Raven’s shoulder. “I can only hope she’ll fall for them.”

Right on cue, Lexa arrived with three glasses of beer.

“I think Octavia and Lincoln are getting along.”

Both Raven and Clarke turned around and look over the back of the booth to see Lincoln teaching Octavia how to throw the darts. He was standing behind her, one hand on her waist and another on the one holding the dart. Octavia was all giggles and both Clarke and Raven knew that look.

“I can’t believe it! We have been here for a few minutes!” Raven exaggerated, throwing her hands in the air.

Clarke chuckled and took a sip of the beer Lexa brought her. “Don’t be like that. She deserves to have a good time. Lincoln seems like a nice guy, let her have some fun without Bellamy getting overprotective with her.”

Raven observed Clarke. “You are going to be the one to tell him, he has a soft spot for you.”

“You are the one that slept with him!” Clarke protested.

Raven grimaced. “Please don’t remind me of that. We all have some things we regret.”

They heard Lexa made a vague sound of acknowledgment that sounded like a sad chuckle and looked at her. They had forgotten she was there.

“Want to tell us something, Commander?” Raven questioned, leaning on the table, her eyebrow raised.

Lexa took a big sip of her beer. “Sometimes those mistakes can haunt you a lifetime.”

“Who broke your heart like that, Commander?” Raven insisted and Clarke kicked her under the table so she could see her furious glare. Raven eyes widen as she leaned back on the booth, mumbling an apology to Lexa.

“No, that’s okay.” Lexa shrugs only one shoulder as she took another sip, her eyebrows furrow and she stared at the foam on the top of her drink. “My ex screw me over really bad.” She paused and sighed. “It was Senior year, she was friend's of a friend and went to the rival high school. It was like a cliché high school movie and I was happy. We started a relationship. Until one day she started saying stupid things about me, everybody took her side and I was alone. She was with another girl and was a coward to break up with me, so she made me the bad guy.” Lexa took another sip as she drank again. “She hurt me. I think I never really overcame the heartbreak.”

Clarke reached and caressed Lexa’s frown, trying to relieve it. The brunette lifted her head and stare deep into Clarke’s eyes. Those eyes said so many things. The blonde gave her an understanding smile and hold her hand.

“I don’t like when you frown.”

Lexa smiled. What Clarke just did made her wanted to cry. Nobody treated her like this like she matters. Clarke looks at her like she knows how to hang the stars in the sky and she dreams of being that girl. Lincoln was right, she would treat Clarke like a princess, and she would worship her every day in every way. But she’s not worthy of having Clarke, but she wants it so bad. She took Clarke’s hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles.

She can’t lie, that small touch on her forehead made her melt. She is a sucker for a small touch, she craves it. She wants to kiss her, to hold her, to never let her go. She loves this girl. It’s the small touches, the words, the way Clarke smiles, the way they tease each other, it’s everything. It’s Clarke and Lexa knows this. But she’s so scared…

Raven looked at them and decided to go to the counter, leaving them alone to talk. She had seen Lexa’s sister walking around the bar, wearing a high waist black skinny jeans and a gray long sleeve t-shirt with open back and suspenders. The woman was cleaning some glasses when Raven reached the counter. She stared at the stools but decided to stay up.

“Hey, what can I get you?” Anya threw her cloth against her shoulder, giving Raven her million dollar smile as she leaned against the counter.

“Another beer, please.” She saw Anya grab the glass, inclining it and rotating it as she filled it. Her biceps looked so good that Raven had a hard time not staring. She gave Raven her glass and returned to cleaning the glasses.

“So… I am sorry for getting you in trouble. My big mouth was the one that told your sister about your Instagram.”

Anya looked at her.

“Don’t worry.”

Raven nervously tapped her fingers on the glass. “Why do you have it?”

Anya raised her eyebrow, inquisitive. “Trying to find someone I haven’t seen in a while.”

Raven narrow her eyebrows. “And you choose Instagram for that? That’s kind of stupid.”

Anya approach Raven, standing just behind the counter of the girl, looking all taller and scary. Raven gulped and shock a little bit.

“Promised not to tell Lexa?” Raven nodded vigorously. “I tried looking for him everywhere else, Facebook, Twitter, but I never found anything. And I like Instagram, pretty pictures and pretty girls.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively and smirked when Raven opened her mouth in a big O, taken by surprise. Anya winked at her and went to serve another person.

Raven saw Lexa and Clarke getting out of the booth, holding hands and joining Lincoln and Octavia at the pool table. They made her signal to join them, but she refused. The last thing she wanted was to be the third wheel. She tried to get up on the stool but they weren’t steady enough for her to lift herself, so she quitted.

“You can seat, you know. I won’t bite.” Anya startled her and she lowered her head.

“That’s not why… Never mind.” She shook her head and turned to the pool game.

“Nerve damage?” Anya asked, pointing to Raven’s leg brace.

“Huh? Oh, yeah… Pain in the ass.”

“I know how you feel.” Anya continued, showing Raven the back of her hand, where tiny scars ran from the base of her fingers to the center of her hand. “Not as extensive as yours but still a pain in the ass.”

“Can you fire a gun with your hand like that?”

Anya turned to Raven and hold the stool so the girl could climb it. Raven thought twice before deciding that she could use Anya’s help. “I don’t suffer tremors or lost my ability to grab things. My hand is almost good. I just can’t extend my fingers to the side. See?” She showed it to Raven and the brunette nodded.

“Anya! Can you help us?” Clarke called and the bartender turned, looking as the blonde and the small brunette were pouting. She excused herself and walked to the pool table. She saw her sister and Lincoln griming.

“So, let me guess.” She turned to Clarke. “You started a war that you don't know how to end.” The blonde nodded and Anya shook her head. “I am sorry, Clarke I can’t help you.”

She turned around and went back next to Raven. “Your friends need to know how to choose their battles.”

Raven laugh. “I know! Who do you think has the brains in the trio?”

Anya laughed freely, throwing her head back. “You are funny, Reyes. I like talking to you.”

Raven blushed. “You too, Woods.”

 

* * *

 

 

The people at the bar started to leave and when the clock hit two in the morning, Anya closed the door, so their small group was alone inside.

Lexa was sitting on a stool, with Clarke between her legs feeding her peanuts. Octavia was dancing with Lincoln like a crazy person, being the only one who couldn’t drink, she drank coke all night and now was a little too energetic, but Lincoln didn’t seem to mind, laughing and joining her.

Lexa stood up and grabbed a broom, helping her sister cleaning the bar.

“I saw you talking to Lexa’s sister. Anything you want to tell me?” Clarke sat next to Raven and the brunette shrugged.

“She was kind enough to keep me company while the two of you -” she said, pointing to Clarke and Octavia. “-keep flirting with her friends.”

“I am sorry, Raven.” Clarke apologized, embarrassed. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but Lexa broke a little bit and I wanted to be there for her.”

“I understand, Clarke. I don’t mind, Anya is nice. Did you and Lexa got anywhere?”

“No…” Clarke was disappointed. She thought that after Lexa’s talk about her ex that the brunette would do something, but all stood the same and she needed to be happy with the small displays of affection Lexa gave her. Those were small victories. She knew how hard was for the green eyed girl to trust another person. “I already made up my mind. I am going to wait for her to make ‘the move’. Until then, I am happy with being her friend.”

“My sister is crazy for you, Clarke. Just give her a little time, she takes a little longer to see what everybody else already knows.” Anya joined them by the stools.

Clarke gave Anya a thank you smile before going to help Lexa taking out the trash. Anya and Raven watched as Lincoln and Octavia swayed to a rock ballad. Anya saw Raven wriggling on the stool and extended her hand to her.

“I don’t need your help getting out of this stool, I am not a disable.” Raven protest and Anya rolled her eyes.

“I am not extending my hand because I think you are less than what you are because of your leg, smartass, I am asking you to dance.”

Raven was shocked. “W-what?”

Anya smiled, trying to ease the girl. “Yeah, let’s show these losers how to dance! Shall we?”

Raven was apprehensive, but she hold tight to Anya’s hand and she was surprised how easily the older woman held her and swayed with her through the room, next to Octavia and Lincoln. Anya was careful with not making her force her leg too much and Raven was thankful.

Clarke and Lexa watched as their friends dance and laugh around.

“What the hell happened?”

Lexa shrugged. “I don’t know! Is that my sister? That can’t be Anya… I never saw her dance!”

“I guess we are the only ones missing...” Clarke tried, biting her lip.

“Puff. Good luck with that! I don’t dance.”

Anya was right, Lexa was a bit obtuse.

The music stopped and the pairs stop dancing, arguing about who danced better. Clarke applauded and joined them.

“I am going to start the car, okay?” Octavia asked as she was the only one who didn’t drink. Lincoln went with her.

Anya smiled at Raven. “That was good, Reyes. I hope we can repeat that.”

“You need to show me some of those moves so I can keep up with you and show those two how it’s done.”

Anya nodded and left to the kitchen.

“I think there’s something between my sister and Raven.” Lexa whispered at Clarke, who rolled her eyes.

“No shit, Sherlock” she smiled and leaned against Lexa, feeling the warm of the brunette. “I really liked it. Thank you for inviting us.”

Lexa tightens up her hold on Clarke. “No need to thank me. Would you like to come next week again?”

“Octavia’s birthday is next week, but I think she’ll be happy to come.”

“Oh, okay. But, I’ll see you during the week?” Lexa fiddled with the hem of Clarke’s shirt. “We need to rehearse the presentation and I kinda like being around you...”

Clarke saw the little blush that crept on Lexa’s face. “I like being around you too. I need to go, but I’ll call you later. Okay?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

She saw Clarke exit the bar with Raven and smiled. Today was a good day.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me stuff, what you like and what you don't like! I'm sorry for any mistakes.  
> the conversation between Clarke and Lexa on the booth will be on my [Tumblr](http://categolden.tumblr.com/) in a few days. Find me there? xoxo


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! So this chapter is the calm before the storm, so enjoy ;)  
> oh, and there's some smut, so NSFW ;)  
> enjoy! and comment, please :)

When Clarke and Raven arrived next to the car, Octavia was leaning against the car, Lincoln had his hands on each side of her face and they were kissing. Lincoln may be a big guy, but he seemed so gentle, unlike Octavia who was tugging Lincoln’s shirt, trying to pull him closer to her.

“Hey, hey, hey! Break it off, that girl has a game to win tomorrow and she needs her head clean of thoughts about… this” Raven gesture to Lincoln when the girls stepped closer to the pair. Lincoln chuckled and kissed Octavia’s cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.” He stepped away from Octavia, reluctant, and nodded his goodbye to Raven and Clarke. Once he was out of sight, the three girls started screaming and jumping.

“Play it cool, play it cool.” Raven tried to calm it but they started jumping and screaming high pitched again.

“O! What was that?” Clarke questioned, placing her arm around the small brunette’s shoulder, watching her grin and shrugged her shoulder.

“Our little O has more game than the two of us combined.”

“We are going on a date tomorrow night…” Octavia was daydreaming, she had this look on her face like she just came out of a high and felt no care in the world.

They got in the car and drove home. They talk about the evening, Octavia told them how Lincoln was a gentleman and Raven told them about how Lexa’s sister was a funny flirt but that she had kept her cool. Octavia and Clarke gave each other a knowing glance but said nothing.

Clarke felt her phone vibrate on her nightstand and cursed it before grabbing it and looking at the screen. It was 5 am and Lexa was calling her. She felt her sleeping state rushing out of her body and being replaced by worry.

"Hello? Lexa? Is everything alright?"

"Go on a date with me." Lexa blurts out it and Clarke's breath stopped on her chest.

"What?"

"Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea... Just forget I said something... I..."

"Lexa stop talking." She heard the other girl shut up and she smile to herself. "Ask me again."

There was a long pause before some loud breaths were heard. She could feel Lexa gathering up her courage again.

"Clarke, would you like to go on a date with me?"

Clarke grinned so wide her cheeks hurt.

"Yes, you dork. I would love to." She heard Lexa' breathe out in relieve. "Was it really necessary to ask me at 5 in the morning?" She needed to tease the girl before Lexa retreat to behind her walls.

"I am sorry I woke you up Clarke, but if I didn't do it now, I would never have the courage again."

"I am glad you found the courage, even if it was at 5 am."

"I am sorry, you can go back to sleep, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Can you tell me another story of your superheroes so I can go back to sleep?"

She heard the other girl chuckle before Lexa started telling her about Elektra and Daredevil and how she had been hurt and crawled back to his arms to die. She fell asleep with a content smile on her face.

 

 

 **_From Lexa:_ ** _Good morning, Clarke. I am so sorry for waking you up last night… but I don’t regret it a little bit ;) hope you have a wonderful day. Xx_

That was on her phone when she woke up and it was enough to put her up in a good mood. Clarke got out of the bed and started her morning routine, showering and getting ready for the day ahead. She entered the kitchen to find raven glued to her phone. When the brunette lifted her head and saw Clarke smiling and humbling a song she knew who had the power to do that.

“What did the Commander do?”

Clarke walked, well, danced to her friend, grabbing an apple from the counter before sitting in front of Raven, who raised her eyebrows, suspicious.

“Lexa asked me on a date.” Clarke couldn’t control the full-blown grin that appeared on her face.

“What? When did that happen?”´

“She called in the middle of the night and asked me. It was so sweet, she is a dork.”

“Finally! I am happy for you, Clarkie.” Raven tilted her head and smiled looking at her friend, dancing in their kitchen. “What are you going to do today? I have physical therapy all afternoon…”

Clarke took a bite from her apple and shrug. “Maybe I’ll pick up Lexa after dropping you at the clinic.”

Raven smiled, she had set plans on her head. “I really liked the bar, last night, even if you guys left me alone.”

Clarke raised her eyebrow. “Anya didn't seem to mind that you were alone. Actually, she looked like she was enjoying your company.”

Raven looked at Clarke, her brown eyes sparkling with hope. “She's really hot, isn't she? But she's Lexa's sister.”

“I can talk to Lexa and ask stuff if you want…” Clarke let the proposition lay in the air, knowing that Raven sooner or later would come running to her with an answer.

 **_To Lexa:_ ** _Hi my cute dorky. How are you? Slept well? What are you doing later today?_

 **_From Lexa:_ ** _Falling asleep while talking to you was better than a dream. I am staying home and studying, why?_

 **_To Lexa:_ ** _Can I crash there this afternoon? I promise that I won’t distract you from studying, I’ll bring my own books to study. I just don’t want to be alone…_

**_Lexa calling…_ **

“Hi!” Clarke eagerly answered the phone, smiling and ignoring her cheeks that were hurting because of it. She heard Lexa chuckle and melt on the couch.

“Hey, pretty bird. I know I never said this before, but you can come to my house every time you want, okay?”

Clarke didn’t know why her heart started bumping out of her chest if it was because of the nickname or the invite. Lexa told her about Green Arrow and the Black Canary, how he called her pretty bird and their romance was one of Lexa’s favorite and how she was pissed that the tv show ruined it for her. She even showed Clarke some of the comics with the couple and Clarke watched with a fond smile as the brunette geeked out enthusiastically, waving hands and explaining the story. Clarke adores seeing Lexa like this, carefree and laughing. She loves the sound of her voice.

“Okay, then. I’ll be there after lunch?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke rang the bell and waited with a nervousness that wasn’t usual for her. She was greeted with a smiling Lexa that pulled her into a welcome warm hug. She ran her hand through chestnut hair, finding the base of the scalp and scratching it. She heard Lexa purr and tighten her arms around her a little bit more. Clarke leaned back so she could see Lexa’s eyes.

“Hi”

“Hi”

Both girls were blushing and grinning like something in the air was different and they both felt it. Clarke locked a strand of hair behind Lexa’s ear and felt the girl lean on her touch. They stared into each other’s eyes and Lexa broke their spell, planting a longing and lingering kiss on Clarke’s cheek.

“So, studying, right?” Clarke entered the house, with Lexa right behind her.

“Only if you want. I already cleaned my schedule for this afternoon, since I’m having a special guest.” Lexa circled her arms around Clarke’s waist, dropping her chin on the blonde’s shoulder, kissing it.

“Lex, you didn’t have to. I don’t to be the reason your grades drop.” Clarke leans into the embrace. Normally she was the one to initiate any kind of affection, so when Lexa gathered the courage to do it first, Clarke felt like she was in heaven.

“Actually, there’s a live championship of the GROUNDERS and I wanted to watch.”

Clarke rotates on Lexa’s embrace and with hands on hips, she feigns hurt. “Alexandria Woods! You were trying to blame it on me! I can’t believe you!”

Lexa grimaced when she heard her full name. “Please don’t call me that. I wanted to see it, with you. That game has a new meaning for me now. It’s not just an escape, it’s where I met you.” she lowers her eyes to the ground. Clarke makes her feel things, makes her want to express those repressed feelings.

She feels Clarke wrap her arms around her neck and kiss her forehead. Lexa lifts her gaze and stares right into Clarke’s eyes.

“I want to do right by you, Clarke. I know I have a lot of baggage but you make me feel like I am worthy. I am going to treat you right, not going to let my past haunt me. That is if you want me…”

Lexa feels her heart jack-hammering when Clarke looks at her with those sparkling ocean eyes. She feels so vulnerable right now, all her walls are down and she doesn’t know how she conjured up this kind of courage out of thin air, but she’s an emotional mess and it’s all out. Everything she wants for her and Clarke.

“I don’t care about your past, I have mine too, I had boyfriends and girlfriends too. I want to be with you, without fear of the past or the future. One day at the time, you and me, okay?”

Lexa released a heavy breath from her lungs she didn’t know was holding. She presses Clarke against her front and stays there, breathing the same air with close eyes.

“I am going to take you on a date, next Friday night. I am going to plan the best date of your life. I am going to woo you and after our date, I am going to take you home and finally am I going to kiss those lips that I am dying to, since the moment I saw you with a braid on your hair and pink gloss on your lips, in the beginning of the semester. And, God, Clarke, sometimes you look at me like I hang the stars in the sky and I want to be worthy of it. I would walk on fire to be worthy of you, to call you mine. And…

“Lex, stop! Because if you continue I am not going to wait until our date and I am going to kiss you right here, right now.”

Even with Clarke’s index finger pressed to her lips, Lexa’s smile grows all the way to the corner of her eyes, it’s a tender smile and it is accompanied by a rise of suggestive eyebrows. Clarke melts in giggles and Lexa grins, hugging the girl tight and kissing blonde hair.

“I thought you were going to watch a live game?

“Oh, yeah!”

They sat on Lexa’s bed, side by side, but Lexa pulls Clarke on top of her, the blonde’s back against her chest, hugging her tight and resting her chin on top of the blonde hair. Clarke’s stomach flips. She feels Lexa’s pepper kisses on her cheek, on her neck, on her ear and she smiles content. Lexa’s over affection is something she could easily get used to. They watch the game, commenting on the strategy the players are using. Lexa has more experience but is surprised by how quickly Clarke can predict both teams’ movements and her ideas on unexpected ambushes are brilliant. She needs to invite raven and Octavia to play in her house, so Clarke can play with them. Maybe if Lincoln could play to they would have a team and everything. She makes a mental note to bring the idea to Octavia. She smiles because she knows the girl would be excited.

“What are you smiling about?”

“Nothing, pretty bird.” It’s Clarke’s time to smile. That name is doing things to her. She may not live to next Friday.

When the game ends, Clarke turns on Lexa’s embrace, laying her head on the brunette’s chest, feeling it’s rise and fall and savoring this moment.

“What time do you need to pick up Raven?”

“Before dinner. Actually,” she looks up, bringing her crossed hands to support her chin, on Lexa’s stomach. “I need to talk to you about Raven and Anya.”

“What about them?” Lexa inquiries with suspicion.

“Raven had a really good time last night, with your sister’s company. Do you think that could be something there?”

Lexa nose and lips turn pensive, she locks a strand of blonde hair, behind Clarke’s ear. “You want me to tell you if Anya is into Raven.” Clarke nods but Lexa shrugs. “I don’t know. She told me she thinks she’s hot but other than that we don’t discuss each other’s love life. Not anymore, anyway.”

Clarke stands a little bit, so she can see Lexa’s eyes and Lexa pouts at the missing of Clarke’s warmth. “What do you mean?”

Lexa sighs. This is a conversation she has been delaying a long time.

“Anya saw the way Costia left me, so she taught me how to appear confidence even when I am not and how to fill the void of comfort with meaningless sex.”

Clarke frowned. “That’s something odd for your sister to teach you.” it sounded judgmental and it was.

“Don’t be hard on her. That’s all she knew. She had relationships, of course, but they never lasted because… well, first me, and then stuff…”

Clarke stood up, trapping Lexa under her. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against Lexa’s, catching the green eyed girl by surprise.

“You carry so much guilty. I wish I could wipe it away, you deserve the world, Lexa, and I want to give it to you.”

“Clarke…” Lexa cast a lingering glance, bringing her hands that had settled on Clarke’s hips to her face, brushing the blonde’s cheeks. Clarke kissed her forehead and feeling Lexa lean on her touch, relaxing.

“I’ll be there for you, always. As a friend, as anything you want me to be.”

There were tears in Lexa’s eyes and she refused to let them fall. She already had cried a lot in front of Clarke, she doesn’t want to look like a needy mess, but who is she kidding? She hugged Clarke, tight, crying in the crook of her neck.

“My beautiful Commander. I wonder how many people got the opportunity to look behind the tough exterior and melt by the sweet heart you carry.”

They stay there, in the lower light of a rainy afternoon, embraced in the charming promises of a future.

Lexa was the first to lean back and look at the blue eyes she adores. “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”

Clarke laughed, placing, again, her finger against Lexa’s lips. “No way, Commander, you promised me a date before a kiss. Who do you think I am? Some girl that kisses random people on the street? And even after our date, I’ll think twice if you deserve that kiss.”

Lexa snorted a laugh. “Like you could resist me.”

Clarke stood there, looking pensive, with a finger on her chin. “I think you are right.” She launches herself forward, making them both fall in the bed. She filled Lexa’s cheek and jaw with kisses, listening to the girl hum in satisfaction. Clarke nuzzled Lexa’s cheek and the arm around her tighten as their legs entwined.

“About Raven and Anya…”

“It’s what I told you, Clarke. Anya and I, both had our one night stands and fun, but we stopped. Maybe because it’s tiring, or because Lincoln keeps screwing our minds with fairy tales and stuff. Or maybe because a cute girl comes along and you don’t see anyone except her…”

Lexa felt Clarke’s wide smile against her neck. “Maybe…”

 

* * *

 

 

“So, tell me again why we are going to the bar? Not that I oppose…” Raven hold her hands up, as they walk to the bar where Anya was waiting for them. Clarke and Lexa shared a coconspirator smile, they set plans in motion. 

“I come here every weekend and I am missing my partner in crime because he took your roommate on a date, so, I need company.”

“Yes! And I told Lexa we were happy to keep her company.”

Raven looks suspicious but said nothing.

“Also, wanna tell me why you posted that photo I took of you for my photography class last year?” Clarke already knew the answer. Raven loves that photo, she feels sexy and normal. She’s wearing a red bikini and Clarke caught her just right. No brace, no scar showing. She knows how Raven loves those photos.

Raven shrug, deadpan. “My hotness and sexiness are off the charts in that picture.”

“Right, of course. How could I think otherwise?”

They got to the bar and sat in the same booth as last night, with Lexa and Raven in front of each other, next to the wall and Clarke sat next to Lexa, her arm around the brunette’s shoulder. They were making small talk when Anya arrived at their table, seating herself next to Raven.

“Oh, look, my favorite customers, how are you guys?” she feigns a happy smile, batting her eyelashes and everything. Lexa rolled her eyes and buries herself on Clarke’s embrace, making the blonde smile with pride. Raven looked at them and faked a vomit. Anya looked at her and smiled.

“If you get tired of this two, you are welcome at the counter.” There was a pause before Anya add. “With me.”

Raven smiled.

“I’ll bring you some beers”

“Wait, I’ll go help you.” Clarke got up, following Anya to the counter.

“Wait here, blondie, I’ll be right up.”

Clarke smiled as Anya called her the same nickname Raven calls her. Those two seem to have a lot in common. She turned to watched Lexa and Raven debate something on the booth, smiling to herself as she saw the two girls laugh and get comfortable around each other. She was happy that Lexa seemed to enjoy being around her friends and that was one of the most important things to her. She could never take Finn out with her friends, too much tension and drama.

“Are you the one fucking the younger Woods?”

Clarke frowned and look at her right, where a woman with light brown hair and a dress too small for her, stand, looking at Lexa and Raven.

“None of your business.” She answered ruffle.

The lady shrug. “Too bad for you. She’s a good fucker. Those long fingers and those lips. Damn, she’s on my top three. I tried to take her sister, too, but they don’t share girls. Can you imagine a three way with the Woods sisters?”

“I think you are drunk and those are my friends you are talking about, they deserve respect.” Clarke stood a little taller, measuring the other woman and imposing respect.

The woman looked at her with disbelieve eyes. “Respect? They are worse than frat boys. They are players. I bet they have a book where they keep count of the girls they fuck. I wish I could take her to bed again, marking those back with my fingers. I am wet just to think about it. And her sister? That lean body, I bet she has stamina-“

“You know nothing about them.” Clarke spat with venom. She was about to give the woman some of her mind when Anya approach them.

“Hey, Clarke, is this lady bothering you?” her voice had a hint of intimation. The woman finished her drink and left the empty glass on the counter, before walking back to her table. Clarke took a deep breath and release the tension she had built up on her wrists.

“Promise me something.” She looks at Anya, all serious, taking the cop by surprise. “I don’t know what you want with Raven, but be honest with her, whatever is a fuck or something more. She deserves to be treated right. That’s all I ask of you.”

She took the three glasses and turned to leave, but Anya caught her arm.

“I won’t hurt her. It’s not fair to me to hurt your friend when you have been nothing but perfect for my sister. I won’t get between you guys and I hope you don’t get between me and Reyes. But I promise you that I won’t hurt her. Okay?”

Clarke was still frowning but agreed with a nod. “We never had this conversation.”

Anya smiled wide. “I really like you, blondie.”

Clarke took a deep breath and put a smile on her face as she walked to her table.

“I really don’t know how I was able to balance three glasses but, hey, here they are.”

She sat on her previous spot and Lexa melt against her, leaning her head on Clarke’s shoulder. The blonde wrapped a protective hand around her waist, bringing her close, while she looked at the woman, who was now battling tongues with some guy.

They were on their fourth beer when Raven excused herself to go to the bathroom. She was coming out when she locked eyes with a smirking Anya. Smiling herself, she sauntered to the bartender.

“Hey hot stuff, what can I get you?” Anya holds the stool in place so Raven could climb it.

“Some company? Your sister and my friend are annoying me.”

“When are they gonna fuck so all this sexual tension leaves the air?”

“I don’t know if theirs is the only tension in the air...” Raven raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Anya leaned in, biting her lip and looking at Raven from head to toe.

“Yeah? I don’t think you could keep up with me, Reyes. But I have to say, that picture of you in red, damn, it made me hot.”

Raven shivered at Anya’s low rumble voice.

“Can you make a break? I am dying to kiss those sharp-“

“We can’t, Raven. My sister and Clarke have a thing, I don’t want to add drama to it.”

It broke Raven out of her spell. She looked furious and Anya was really surprised when she jumped from the stool, only to shortening the distant that separate them. She holds her finger against Anya’s chest, her brows frowned angrily.

“Why can Octavia and Lincoln go on a date and no one has any problem with that but if I show interest in you, everybody falls on me?”

Anya grabbed Raven’s arm and rushed pass to the kitchen, to a small office. The other bartender looks at her before she closed the door, shaking his head in disbelieve with a smile on his face.

“Listen to me, Raven. I don’t want to hurt you, I’m not good with relationships-“

“Who’s asking for a relationship? I just need you, right now.” Raven approach Anya and kissed her roughly. She didn’t want to think about what she was doing, she wanted Anya so bad. She kissed her lips, biting them and licking Anya’s bottom lip, begging for entrance. When Anya started responding to the kiss with the same eagerness, Raven smiled. Her hands wandering at Anya’s sides, making their way to her butt, grabbing it and pulling her.

“Wait, stop.” Anya’s mind was fogged with want and desire. Raven started kissing her neck, leaving full mouth kisses on her skin, sucking to leave a mark. “Fuck, I can’t believe I am denying a goddess that has her hands all over me. But listen to me. Clarke and Lexa. They would be the one’s suffering if this goes bad.”

Anya pushed Raven out of her for a minute, so she could clear her head for a moment. The brunette let out an unbelieving breath and eyes the girl incredulous. But she thought about Anya’s words. Clarke was really into Lexa and she didn’t want to be the one to end the happiness that flew out of Clarke.

“Fuck, you are right. They don’t deserve this. But… maybe just a quickie? I am really worked up and you are incredibly hard to resist. They don’t need to know and we can go on with our lives like nothing happened. Deal?”

“Fuck my life, Reyes. You are going to be the death of me.”

Anya took control of the kiss, she grabbed the back of Raven’s tights, making the other girl wrap her legs around her. They stopped by the desk, where Anya sat Raven.

“Are you comfortable?” Anya asked, when she stepped back, to take off Raven’s top. Raven nodded and grabbed Anya by her neck bringing her close so they could continue kissing. Anya’s hand studied Raven’s torso, scrapping her back and stomach. They wonder up and when they started massaging Rave’s breast, she moaned against Anya’s lips, making her smirk. “You are beautiful, Raven. Can I take your brace off?”

Raven stopped and placed a hand on Anya’s chest, who eyed her curiously, as the brunette lower her head down, biting her lip. “Leave it on, just pull my jeans down a little, it’s enough, right?”

Anya took a deep breath, understanding what this was about. “Raven, if it hurts you, you can leave it on, but if this is about your leg… In my eyes, you look beautiful in every way.”

“Are you sure you don’t do relationships because you are girlfriend material.”

Anya rolled her eyes before taking Raven’s bra off and latching on her breasts. The brunette launched her head back, moaning at the feeling. Anya was an expert with mixing her teeth with her tongue and sucking with biting and kissing. She kept one hand cupping her breast and fingers pinching and rolling her nipple.

“Fuck, Anya.” Raven had to bit her knuckles to stop screaming.

“Don’t hold yourself, I love a girl screaming my name.”

With that, Anya bit her lip and Raven couldn’t control the loud moan that escaped her.

Anya was loving seeing this girl come undone under her touch. She lowers her hand through Raven’s abs, loving how hard they were, before settling on the belt’s buckle. She unbuttons the jeans and tugs them down a bit, making Raven hold on her neck and lifting her butt so Anya could drag them down. She smiled in the kiss and Raven pulled her closer. Their kisses became sloppy. Anya squeezed Raven’s tight, bringing her hand closer to where the brunette needs her. She felt Raven shake with anticipation. They both let out a moan when Anya’s hand touched Raven’s center.

“Look how wet you are. I bet you taste delicious, Raven. Should I verify my theory?”

“Fuck, Anya. Just do it.”

Raven leaned back on the desk as Anya’s mouth descended on her body, leaving small kisses and sucks on tan skin. Anya was on her knees, in front of Raven, when she lower her underwear and was stoked by the sweet scent the girl emanated. Raven was soaked and Anya’s mouth salivated at the sight. She didn’t waste any time. The first stroke of her tongue made both girls shiver. She was right, Raven tasted divine. The few first strikes were to get Raven used to her, then Anya started working her magic, licking and kissing, teasing the brunette’s entrance. When Raven’s moans became closer, she entered her with her tongue, receiving a small and surprised cry. She licked again, twirling her tongue on Raven’s clit, sucking with little pressure and Raven’s right hand gently grabbed her hair. She looked up, their eyes lock and there was a content smile on both women. Anya continued her strokes, she knew Raven was close, her tights were jerking involuntarily and pressing her head between them. She gave a few more strokes and circled the clit with her fingers and it was the final rub as Raven came undone on her mouth. The brunette let out a satisfied scream as she came and Anya was there to help her with the aftershocks. When she felt Raven relax, she stood up, kissing up to the brunette’s body. She didn’t reach Raven’s chest before the brunette pulled her up, kissing her hungrily with desire, with adoration, with satisfaction. That was a kiss fill with meaning. They leaned their foreheads together.

“That was something…”

“Glad I pleasured you, Reyes.”

“Damn, Woods, you did more than that.” Raven was still catching up her breath but she saw the proud smirk on Anya’s lips, so she kissed it.

“Give me five minutes and I’ll return the favor.”

“As much as I would like it, I am still at work. And you let my sister and Clarke alone.”

She hated herself after the hurt and disappointing look that Raven gave her. “I am sorry, Raven, but I really need to work. I brought you here, thinking we would have a talk, not jumping at each other. Not that I regret, on the contrary.” She smiles and kissed the brunette’s lips until they turned into a smile.

“Really, girlfriend material! Call me if you change your mind on the relationships, okay?”

Anya smile, helping Raven to her feet and helping her get dress. They pass to the kitchen and Anya gave a small squeeze of Raven’s hand before they depart ways. When Raven sat in the booth with Lexa and Clarke, they gave her a knowing smile.

“Oh, shut up!” she stole Clarke’s glass and drink the rest of the beer in it.

“Was it good?” Clarke leaned forwards on the table with teasing smile.

“It’s my sister,” Lexa said, deadpan and serious, raising her glass to her lips. Both roommates looked at her with apprehension, as the younger brunette lower her glass, smirking. “Of course it was good. She’s a Woods.”

The roommates let out a relieved breath, seeing how cool Lexa was with the situation. Raven smiled and shook her head.

“Are you really okay that I just got fucked by your sister in the back office?”

Lexa shrug. “It’s really no big deal. It was casual, right? If it grows to something more, I’ll give you the talk, don’t worry.”

Raven looked at the younger Woods, opening her arms with disbelieve. The three girls laughed out loud. Tears forming at the corners of their eyes.

“I like you, Woods.”

“You are telling that to the wrong Woods.”

“Touché.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! See you next time ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys. Enjoy the new chapter, it was written with little sleep and a three-month-old puppy biting my hands while I wrote ;)   
> Sorry for any mistakes

"Tell me more about our date.” Clarke whined and begged, nuzzling Lexa’s cheek. They were in class and Lexa was trying to stay focused on the professor, but having Clarke hugging her and peppering kisses on her cheeks and neck was distracting.

“I am going to pick you up at seven, then I’ll take you to a nice restaurant and then we’ll meet our friends at the bar and we’ll celebrate Octavia’s birthday.”

“What restaurant are you going to take me?”

“Clarke, I can’t tell you that! It’s a surprise.”

“I don’t like surprises!” Clarke sat straight on her seat, arm crossed over her chest and a big pout on her mouth. Lexa looked at the professor, who was distracted, answering another student’s question. She smiled and gave a quick kiss on Clarke’s cheek, making the girl smile and lean against her, holding her arm. 

“I can’t wait for this night. I am so happy, Lexa.”

“Me too, Clarke. And nervous.” She confessed with a sight.

“Why are you nervous?”

“Well, because it’s you. I want to do this right, Clarke. You know it.”

“You are doing everything right. Just relax. It’s us.” Clarke reassured with a shrug but that was the reason Lexa was so nervous.

They separate after the class because Clarke was going to have lunch with Octavia and Raven, like they do every year. She rushed home but was surprised when she opened the door and caught sight of the old woman standing with her roommates in her living room.

“Mom?”

The older woman turned, with a smile on her lips, measuring Clarke from head to toe.

“Clarke, honey, you look thinner.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. She didn’t have her feet through the door and her mother was already criticizing her.

“Nice to see you, too, mom. What are you doing here?”

She walked to the living room, placing her backpack on the end of the dinner table.

“I knew it was Octavia’s birthday and I wanted to take my girls out for lunch, like always.” Clarke looked at her roommates, who shrug, apologetic.

Clarke looked suspicious. She didn’t do this last year, or the year before, well she only calls them when it was really needed. “Okay, then. We have reservations at that Italian restaurant in the city, let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

“Happy birthday, O!” they sang and watch the younger girl blew the candles out.

The lunch had been quiet, Abby Griffin making small conversation with the girls, asking about school and hobbies.

“Abby, did my brother send anything since last summer?” Octavia asked in fear, but the pity look on Abby’s face gave her the answer. She tried to hide her tears, and the reassuring hand on her arm kept her grounded.

“Let’s not think about who’s not here! Let’s eat cake!” Raven reached for the knife, trying to change the subject.

“Wait, let me take a picture before you guys eat it all!” Clarke grabbed her phone, only to find it dead. “Raven, give yours, mine is dead.”

“Your phone needs a retirement plan…”

“If Clarke could keep her things unbroken and undamaged, she wouldn’t be needing one.” Abby Griffin gave her statement, letting the girls fall in silence again.

Raven and Octavia were happy and thankful that the older woman welcomed them in her house. She’s paying their tuition, gives them an allowance and pays the bills of the apartment they live.

The afternoon was passing and Clarke became unsettled with time. She needs to head home and start to get ready for her date, but her mother was still trying to keep up with their lives.

“So, O, it’s really good to be here, but I need to get home and change.” Clarke started to gather her things but her mother holds her arm.

“Clarke, please, seat. It’s early and we have somewhere to be in a few moments.”

“What?” Clarke frowned looking up to her mother. She took a few deep breaths and clenched her jaw, trying to calm herself and not ruining Octavia’s birthday by making a scene at the restaurant.

“I am giving a lecture at the university and I reserved you, girls, seats for support.”

Clarke banged her fist on the table, startling the other women.

“I am sorry, mom, but I already have dinner plans.”

“What could be more important than seeing your mother talk in front of your future co-workers? This is a really good opportunity for your future.”

“Mom, you can’t just drop by unannounced and expect me to bend at your will and do whatever you say.”

“Octavia and Raven will be there too, for support, right girls?” The older Griffin turned to her adoptive daughters, that had been silence during all the discussion but had no other choice but to agree with fake smiles.

Clarke breathed in and out, her phone was dead, she didn’t know Lexa’s number and she doesn’t know how to tell the girl she might be a little late.

“What time does it ends?”

“I don’t know, Clarke, these things can take some time, you know that I need to answer some question in the end, and…”

Clarke wanted to strangle her mother. She always ruins the good things Clarke manages in her life. She could only hope the lecture ended soon so she could be on her way to Lexa and their date.

“Fine! Just let’s go so we could finish this early.” They stood up and Clarke grabbed Raven’s arm and murmured to her ear. “Please, can you send a text to Anya telling her to warn Lexa that I might be a little late?”

“Yes, of course.  Let’s hope your mom talks fast so you could be on your date.”

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa looked at herself in the mirror. It’s been a while since she took so much time to get ready for a date, but she wanted to impress Clarke, so she took a little more effort to look good. Anya had helped choose the outfit. Her sister has a busy day at work today but wished her good luck at lunch, kissing the crown of her hair, before leaving. 

With one final look, Lexa took a brave breath, straightening her skirt with her hands, before dressing her leather jacket and running downstairs.  She picked up her sister’s car keys and drove to Clarke’s apartment.

She rang the bell and waited, flowers in one hand, while the other smoothed down her scarf and her knit sweater. She took a look at her boots and hoped she didn’t fall, the heels weren’t tall but with the rain you never know and the last thing she wants it’s to fall in front of Clarke.

She waited five minutes and nobody answered the door, she rang again and waited. After the third time, she decided to call Clarke but her phone was off. The worry came over her and she knocked on the door, calling the girls, but nobody answered. She paced in front of the door. She sat on the floor and eventually, she gave up. She understood she was stood up by Clarke. Fighting the tears that wanted to run from her eyes, Lexa dropped the flowers in the nearest garbage and drove home.

She still didn’t shed a tear, no, she was composed. She dropped the keys, climbed the stairs to her room, took off her scarf and put it away in her closet, she removed her jacket and place it on the back of her chair, along with her sweater and dress. She took off her boots and socks. She dressed in gray sweat pants, and a gray sweater tied her hair in a bun, removed her make-up and curled up on her bed. That’s when she let herself feel. She cried, long sobs and hurtful tears.

She knew Clarke was too good to be truth. Just like Costia, Clarke was another girl playing with her feelings. Why did she let herself feel again? Love is weakness. Her mother is right. She banged her fist in the mattress and stood there, crying and coughing without air. She felt this heavy weight in her chest and she welcomed the pain of a broken heart she knew all too well. She cried herself to sleep, promising she wouldn’t fall for another pretty face.

Lexa woke up, startled and trembling by the loud bang on her door. She walked to it, running the back of her hand on her wet cheeks, before looking at the fish eye. Clarke was the one knocking unceasingly on her door.

“Go away, Clarke.” Her voice didn’t betray her, she sounded cold and unaffected by the girl on the other side.

“Please, Lexa, open the door. I am so sorry I stood you up, but my mother made me assist a surprise lecture she was giving. I know it’s not an excuse, but please, let me talk to you.” Clarke sounded desperate.

Lexa leaned against the door, letting herself fall against it until she sat on the floor. The tears had started running again. Maybe they never stopped. The hurt was too much and Clarke being there felt like the end of a sad joke, mocking her.

What Lexa didn't know, was that on the other side of the door, Clarke was on her knees, hands and head against the door. It was pouring rain but she didn't care, she needed to speak to Lexa, to ask for her forgiveness. She knew how the girl must felt and it was eating Clarke inside.

"Lexa, please, let me explain. Please open the door, let me talk to you."

Lexa continued crying quietly against the door. Her chest hurts like her heart broke and it was true. She didn't want to face Clarke, she wanted to be able to raise her walls up again and never see the blonde again. But Clarke was under her skin from the moment Lexa saw her.

"Lexa, please. My mom's a bitch and I can't believe I am in this mess because of her. Lexa, I can't lose this, I can't. Please open the door. Please." The last plead from Clarke sounded like a cry and hearing Clarke cry made Lexa snap of her sadness and she hurried to open the door. Clarke was on her knees, crying and when Lexa open the door, blue and green crying eyes locked. Clarke stood up and looked at Lexa. Neither said anything for a long time. Mouths opening and closing without words being said.

"You are soaked." Lexa pointed. Clarke looked at herself, rain was falling from her hair and clothes.

"Yes, it's raining." Clarke tried to smile but Lexa stayed cold.

"Come on in, you need to change before you get sick."

"Thanks." Clarke entered and look better at the taller girl, noticing the tear’s stained cheek. "Lexa..." she tried to touch the girl but the brunette took a step back and refused to look at her.

"Follow me." Without looking at Clarke, Lexa started walking. Clarke hugged herself, trying to ignore the hurt that she felt right now. Lexa walked them to the bathroom next to her room. She searched for towels and gave them to Clarke, without looking at her. "I'll leave you some clothes on top of my bed. I'll be downstairs." She was ready to leave, but Clarke grabbed her wrist. She tensed under the blonde's touch.

Clarke immediately dropped her hand and looked to the ground, trying to hide the hurt in her eyes.

"I am sorry Lexa. We need to talk..."

Lexa was looking at where Clarke's hand was a few moments ago and nodded slightly. "Take your shower."

 With that, the brunette left and the blonde fought the tears that wanted to run free. She never saw Lexa act this way, so cold. Even when she met the girl, Lexa was stoic but had this way of transmitting her confidence, kind of a regal highness. Clarke stepped out of her wet clothes, leaving them in the sink so she didn't wet the bathroom and entered the shower. She loved the feeling of the hot water on her skin. She definitely didn't think when she came knocking on Lexa's door at the pouring rain. She inspected the products and found the ones that smelled like Lexa and used them. She loves the way Lexa smells and smelling like her was making her feel close to Lexa, especially now that she doesn't let Clarke get near her. She stepped out and grabbed the towels, walking to Lexa's room, where she found some sweats pants and a knitted sweater she saw Lexa wear a few times. She loves seeing Lexa on that specific sweater. She found some underwear next to it and felt her cheeks burn at the thought of Lexa picking her some underwear. She dressed herself and looked around Lexa's room. She stopped when she saw the dress on the chair and her heart tightened on her chest. Lexa must have worn it to their date. The guilt overwhelmed her. Lexa must look beautiful in that dress. She really needed to talk to the girl. Clarke walked down the stairs and found Lexa on the couch. The brunette didn't acknowledge her and kept looking at the tv.

"There's some soup in the kitchen. Eat it before it gets cold." Lexa commanded, without tearing her eyes from the tv.

Clarke kept her head down while she walked the short distance to the kitchen. She saw the steaming soup on the table and sat, thinking about how she could fix this. She looked around and noticed the clean sink.

“Lexa, did you eat?”

“I lost my appetite.” Short and cold.

“Lex-”

“Stop, Clarke. I am not in the mood.”

Clarke lowered her head and fought back the tears that wanted to come out. How come things can change in a blink of an eye? She ate the soup as fast as her guilty tightened throat let her.

She walked to the living room and stopped in front of Lexa, blocking the brunette’s view of the tv.

“Can you please look at me?” Clarke’s right hand found its way to her hip, a voice sounded a little bit bossy and the clench of her jaw tried to hide the nervousness she felt right now.

Lexa rose from the sofa and closed the distance between them, stopping a breath away from Clarke. Clarke felt the intimidation, the anger in the other girl’s eyes and the imperceptible movement of her jaw. She closed her fist and tried to remain in place.

“You want to talk, talk.”

Clarke swallowed her fears. “I am sorry. I know you worked really hard and I am sorry for missing our date.”

Lexa breaths accelerated and Clarke couldn’t tell if it was because she was getting angrier or something else.

“What is done, it’s done.”

Lexa was about to walk from their conversation when Clarke grabbed her arm. It was now or never.

“No! You don’t get to walk away when I am talking to you. It’s that the consideration you have for me and our relationship? I know I fucked up, Lexa. But understand that this is not something that I planned or predicted. My mom made a surprise visit that was just an excuse to make us see how important she is to society. She loves to boast herself. And my phone died long before that. It was a series of unfortunately events.”

Lexa visible relaxed at the pun and that gave Clarke the courage to continue. She slid her hand from Lexa’s arm to her hand and intertwined their fingers together. The brunette looked down at the gesture, but Clarke took a step closer, holding her other hand to Lexa’s cheek, making the girl face her, locking their twinkle eyes.  

“I don’t want to lose you because of a stupid medical conference. I really like you, Lexa. Don’t push me away. Please, come to me to Octavia’s birthday party. Not because I am asking but because she wants you there. She really does. She wants the commander. She wants her friend.”

Lexa’s nod was so sublet that someone who didn’t know Lexa that well, would miss it. But not Clarke.

“For Octavia.” Lexa agreed, but she knew that deep down she was going to be with Clarke. She was whipped.

Lexa changed her clothes to something more appropriated for a birthday party at the bar and then Clarke drove them to the apartment. The ride was silent, Lexa kept turned to the door, her head against the window, looking at the streets passing by. Clarke saw Lexa by the corner of her blue eyes and sighted. There was this awkward tension between them and Clarke wanted nothing more for it to go away so she could snuggle against Lexa, take her hand and see her smile. She’ll give Lexa time. She knows she fucked up and she could only hope Lexa found in her heart a chance to forgive her so they could move forward.

They walked to the apartment silently, Clarke slowing her pace and looking back at a defeated and sad Lexa, walking with hands in pockets and bowed like the weight of her demons were dragging her down. Clarke fights her will to run to Lexa and hug her.

When Clarke opened the door, her mother was in the living room, sitting on the couch with Raven and Octavia, who looked back at her with worry. They were already dressed and ready to go. Lexa walked behind Clarke and was caught by surprise, watching with interest the woman whom she thought was Clarke’s mother.

“Mom, what are you doing here? I thought you were going to the hotel.”

Abby got up and walked to the girl. “Clarke, manners.” She extended her hand to Lexa. “Hi. I’m Clarke’s mother. Dr. Abby Griffin.”

Lexa looked at the woman in front of her and stood a little bit taller. “Lexa Woods, I’m Clarke’s classmate. Nice to meet you, Dr. Griffin.”

Clarke watched the exchange with nervousness, she needed to change so they could go, but she didn’t want Lexa with her mother. Lexa seemed to be able to handle herself but Clarke really didn’t want to let her alone. Octavia understood her worry and got up.

“So, Lex, everything ready to party tonight?”

Clarke excused herself as Octavia join her mother and Lexa. Lexa nodded, breaking her gaze from the doctor to look at the birthday girl.

“Happy Birthday, Octavia.”

“Thanks.”

 “I can’t believe you girls are going to a bar, alone. Shouldn’t you have a man with you? To protect you?”

Lexa rose her eyebrow at the question. There were so many things wrong with what Clarke’s mother said, but she didn’t want to leave a bad first impression. After all, this was Clarke’s mother.

“No need to worry, Abby. Lexa’s sister is a cop and she’ll be there.”

Abby opened her mouth in surprise. “Your sister is a cop.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you are studying medicine?”

“No, I am studying Law. Clarke and I have the same ethical class.”

The conversation remained light, Abby asking Lexa small things, trying to get a known of the girl.

Clarke arrived and hushed the girls to leave. They needed to help Raven, the girl was in pain and had opted to leave her brace at home and walk with her crutches.

“I really think you should take a gentleman with you, to keep away any unwanted advances from strangers.”

“Don’t worry mom, there’ll be plenty of people to protect us if we need it.”

 

* * *

 

They arrived at the bar, there was a table with cake and Lincoln was wearing a party hat. Octavia ran to him and hugged him. Their relationship was growing into something meaningful and their happiness showed on their faces. Lexa walked the short distance to the counter, where her sister was watching her with a furrow.

“What?” Lexa knew when her sister was waiting to give her a lecture.

“Where is your phone? I’ve been trying to call you-”

“I turned it off.”

Anya disapproving look did nothing to Lexa’s spirit.

“Lex, it wasn’t Clarke’s fault.” Anya leaned forward so Lexa could hear her better. Lexa looked at her sister with confusion. “Raven texted me, telling me what was happening. When I saw it, I tried to call you.”

Lexa felt a little guilty, she could see Clarke was making an effort but her heart was hurting and she was scared. She turned around and saw the sad eyes Clarke tried to hide as she chatted with Raven and Octavia.

“She stood me up. You have no idea how much it hurt.”

Anya throws her cloth down and looked at Lexa with fury. “I know how it hurt. I know how you thought of Costia and how similar the situations were. But,” Anya approach Lexa, raising her finger to her sister.Clarke rushed to you, she is here, looking guilty and sad. And you are throwing away a chance at happiness because you keep thinking people are out there to get to you. Stop running, because I am tired of picking up your pieces. Woman up and go apologize for being an asshole.”

Lexa was biting the inside of her cheek, trying to control herself with pain, but it was in vain. She looked at her sister with daggers in her eyes.

“Fuck you, Anya.”

Lexa turned around and was about to leave the bar when Octavia run to her with a bottle of tequila in hand.

“Lexa, drink with me! Lincoln can’t drink because he’ll be on duty tomorrow, Clarke’s the designated driver and Raven took some pain pills! It’s my birthday! My 21st birthday. I am allowed to drink and nobody wants to drink with me.” Octavia whined, pouting as she looked back at her friends. Lexa looked at the bottle the young girl pushed to her and without a second thought took it to her mouth and drank. Octavia cheered and pushed Lexa to drink some shots.

Clarke was fingering with the hem of her shirt. She didn’t want them to get drunk, Octavia was a messy drunk when they drank at home and Lexa didn’t seem to be in the right mood to get drunk. Clarke knows from experience. The alcohol only brings out the worst you are feeling.

She saw them drink shot after shot, beer after beer. Lexa was losing up, dancing clumsy, while Octavia was wrapped around Lincoln like a koala. Lincoln and Raven went play darts a while ago and Clarke was seated at the table, still drinking the same water bottle since they arrived at the bar.

Anya sat down in front of her, bringing her from her thoughts.

“Let me guess, she didn’t came talk to you?” The miserable sight and the way Clarke’s head and shoulder lowed gave Anya her answer. “I can kick her ass if you want me. And drag her here.”

Clarke looked up, surprised. “She’s your sister.”

“That doesn’t mean I am blind to her mistakes. I know when she’s being an ass.”

Clarke smiled sadly, looking at the water bottle between her hands. “Thanks, Anya, but I would like if she was the one that came here, on her own. Not because someone forced her to.”

Anya lifted her hands, giving up. “Okay. I won’t interfere, but it’s Octavia’s birthday and you are here, looking like a beaten up puppy and I can’t see a pretty girl like that.”

For the first time in that night, Clarke’s smile was genuine. “Anya, you really know how to charm a lady.”

Anya gave her that smirk that she saw so many times in Lexa. “Who do you think taught her?”

Clarke chuckled. “I hope you taught her how to drink too because she didn’t eat dinner and she gulped down a lot.”

“I know, I am controlling that. I’ve been giving them water, don’t worry. Do you want to keep me company at the counter?” Anya rose from the booth, slightly bowing and offering Clarke her arm.

Clarke smiled and followed Anya. She saw from the corner of her eye Lexa talking to some girl and she had to swallow dryly. The last thing she needed was Lexa flirting with someone in front of her. Worst. Going home with someone that’s not her. She let her arms fall in the counter, her face between them, being shielded by the cascade of her hair. She felt someone touch her elbow and looked back.

“Finn?”

He looked just like he did three months ago; shaggy hair, sly smile that made every girl fall at his feet, but not Clarke. Her expression hardened.

“Hey there, princess.”

“What are you doing here?” her words came out angry and cold, making him wide his eyes in surprise.

“Wow, I came in peace.” He lifted in hands. “Your mother called me. She thinks we are still dating and told me about your girl’s night. She wanted me here to protect you.” he approached her, slowly with a tentative smile. “I didn’t want to disappoint her and I want to talk to you.” he tried to trap her, placing his arms on each side of her, on the counter, but Clarke broke free. “Clarke, come on. I made a mistake, but I love you and I want to be with you.”

Clarke fixed him with a steely look. Was he for real? “Go float yourself, Finn. We are done.”

She tried to get away but he grabbed her arm and flushed her against his body. “Come on, Clarke. You haven’t told your mother for a reason. I know you still want me. Why would you look so sad and alone, if not for that?”

Clarke was stunned, she didn’t know what to say and she started panicking until she felt a hand on the small of her back.

“I think the lady didn’t welcome your advances.” her speech wasn’t dragged as someone who drank as much as she did should. Actually, Lexa looked like she was completely sober. She was serious, cold, her eyes, her clenched jaw, every inch of her screamed danger. Finn didn’t let go of Clarke, making Lexa put her hand on his shoulder and pushing him slightly away.

His face furrow. “Who do you think you are?”

“Her friend.” Lexa continued calm and serious.

Clarke gravitated closer to Lexa, feeling relieved in her warmth.

“Finn? What are you doing here?” Octavia, Lincoln, and Raven approach the scene, making him even angrier.

“Her friend? Like these two bitches that kept coming between us?” he bolted away from Lexa’s hand, focusing his anger on the brunettes that were near. Then he looked at Clarke again, she had her face hidden on Lexa’s arm. He looked better at the blonde and the brunette, noticing small details, his head working. He let out a dry laugh.

“You got to be kidding me. You prefer this dyke to me? You really are an easy slut, Clarke.”

That was Lexa’s breaking point. She gently pushed Clarke away from her, then her fist went flying and collided with Finn’s jaw. After realizing what happened, he tried to hit her, but she blocked his move, bringing her elbows to his chest, making him stumbled a little. It was her opportunity to bring him down to the floor, having the upper advantage. She started assaulting his face, punching as hard as she could. She heard someone call for her, but she couldn’t break away. She shook the hands she felt on her shoulders. She was blinded by anger. This is the reason she doesn’t drink. The reason she has to stay sober and in control. Because the moment she loses it, there’s no going back. She continued hitting Finn, he was unmoving under her. It wasn’t until a strong hand grabbed the collar of her shirt and pushed up and away from Finn.

Anya tossed her against the wall, the air of her lungs came out in a huff when her back collided with the hardwood. Anya’s hand on her collar kept her against it, not letting her go.

“Hey, Lexa, look at me. Look at my hand. Do you remember how I broke my hand? All the bones they had to rebuilt and realign?”

That was the only thing that made Lexa break out of her trance. Her eyes turned from a glazed black to their normal green.

“What-” she looked around the room, at the chaos she created. The guilt overwhelmed her. She wanted to run away, but her sister didn’t let her. She watched Anya lowed her hand. Clarke was at her side, concern all over her features.

“Can you take her to the back room, while I clean her mess?” Anya looked at Clarke who nodded, grabbing Lexa hand and dragging her away.

The brunette still didn’t have lifted her head, facing the ground to hide her guilt and shame. Clarke made her sat on the couch.

“Stay here, don’t move.” Her voice was raspy and cold. Then the blonde was out of the door. Lexa let her head fall on her hands and cried. She fucked things up. She let the tears taint her cheeks. When the door opened again, she looked up to see Clarke look at her with kindness. She tried to look away from those blue eyes as she dried her cheeks to her sleeve. Clarke rolled her eyes and kneeled in front of her.

“Give me your hand.” When Lexa didn’t comply, the blonde went and grabbed it, bring her closer to her eyes to inspect. After cleaning the bloody knuckles, she kissed them and applied some ice. Lexa was still facing the wall, not looking at this girl that still, after all she had done, was still helping her. Clarke was too good for her.

“You did right in not coming to our date. I am not good for you.” Lexa said. Clarke rose and sat next to her, bringing her hand, that wasn’t icing Lexa’s, to the brunette’s chin, making her face her.

“Why won’t you let me be the judge of that?” she smiled and Lexa felt hope grow in her heart.

“Do you- Clarke, I have a lot of baggage. I am a disgrace. I am violent. A monster.”

Clarke scooped closer, their thighs touching. She let her forehead rest against Lexa, never breaking their shared gaze.

“When will you learn that you are so more than that? Did you see how you defended my honor back there?” she smiled when the corners of Lexa’s mouth quirked up. “Come on, I am taking you home.”

When she rose, Clarke looked over her shoulder, extending her hand for Lexa to take and she felt the butterflies on her stomach coming to life when the brunette grabbed it, without thinking twice.

They went to the back door, to Clarke’s car, where Octavia and Raven were waiting on the backseat.

Guilt rushed through Lexa again and she stopped, making Clarke look back at her. When the blonde saw the panic in her eyes, she gave her a gentle squeeze and pulled her in the car’s direction. Lexa opened the door and looked at the girls. She had her head low when she spoke.

“Octavia, I am so sorry for ruining your birthday…”

Octavia blinked in disbelieve, looking back at Raven that shared her expression and to a smiling Clarke, before facing Lexa.

“Are you fucking kidding me? That was incredible, Lexa! How did you block his move and reverse it to your own blow?”

“Lexa, he deserved more than a few punches, believe me”

Raven and Octavia talked so fast, Lexa was falling at keeping up. The talked about how Lexa was amazing, how Finn got what he deserved. She was starting to feel dizzy when a hand on her thigh brought her back and kept her grounded. Or so she thought.

Clarke carried a nauseated Lexa through her house, climbing the stair to her room.

“Wait, Clarke. I think I need to throw up. You can go, I’ll be okay.”

Clarke held tight to the brunette’s midsection, guiding her to the bathroom.

“Lex, you can’t even walk straight. Come on, let me take care of you. Come on.”

They made their way to the bathroom, where earlier, Clarke was taking her shower. They sat on the floor, Lexa’s forehead was resting on the opened lid of the toilet. It didn’t take long before the brunette emptied the contents of her stomach. Clarke rushed behind her, holding her hair and rubbing small and comforting circles on her back. When she finished, she tried to get up, but almost fall if it wasn’t for Clarke’s firm hands. She washed her face and teeth before going to her room, helped by Clarke.

“Want help getting ready for bed?”

Lexa gave Clarke a naughty smile, but the blonde rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“I’ll wait outside.”

When Lexa finished she called Clarke. She was already in bed when the blonde entered the room, a childish smile on her face as she watched the blonde come closer. She pulled Clarke to her bed and hugged her. The blonde smiled and pushed her closer to her chest. Finally, things between them were normal, and it only took Lexa putting Finn in his place. Lexa wiggled to get comfortable, closing her eyes and grabbing the hem of Clarke’s top, not wanting to let go. Clarke smiles and caresses the brunette’s hair.

“I have to go, Octavia and Raven are in the car.”

“No. I want you to stay.” Lexa pouted.

Clarke sighted. This was a difficult decision. Lexa was breathing closer to her neck, clinging to her. It clouded her judgment.

“You have to rest. I’ll be here in the morning, with breakfast. Okay?”

Lexa opened one eye, looking up at Clarke. “Promise?”

Clarke smile and lower herself to kiss the brunette’s nose. “Promise.”

She disentangled from the brunette’s hold and kissed her nose one more time. Lexa was almost asleep. Clarke watched with awe, the brunette’s chest rise and fall as she entered the land of dreams. She looked beautiful when she was sleeping, so peaceful and so young.

“Goodnight, Lexa.”

* * *

 

On the next morning, when she knocked on the small’s house front door, Anya greeted her, thanking her for last night and grabbing the coffee and muffin that Clarke brought her.

“She’s still asleep. You know your way.”

The blonde rushed to the door of Lexa’s room, not bothering to knock. Lexa was laying exactly where Clarke left her last night, at the edge of the bed. She kneeled next to the brunette, brushing away some curls that made their way to cover the brunette’s face. She kissed her forehead, but Lexa didn’t stir, so Clarke set the coffee and cupcake she brought on the bedside table and went around the bed, took off her shoes and changed her jeans to some pajama pants and climbed the bed, under the covers, next to Lexa. She cuddled the brunette, her front against Lexa’s back. Her arm went around the sleeping girl’s waist, bringing her close. She felt the brunette’s wiggled, but it wasn’t until Clarke kissed her nape that Lexa woke up. She hummed in pleasure, not moving but feeling the content of her current position.

“You came.” She acknowledged, with a wide smile but eyes closed. She felt another kiss and another and her smile grew until her cheeks hurt.

“Lexa not even my mom can’t keep me away from you now. I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t let you go.”

Lexa could hear the honesty of Clarke’s words. Her heart was beating so fast that she was scared it jumped off her chest.

“Clarke, I think I am falling for you.”

She felt the blonde smile against the space between her shoulder blades.

“Good, because I am falling too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it. Please comment :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: there's a strong scene in this chapter, a little bit personal. Please be kind, it was hard to write.
> 
> Another thing, if any of you draw Clexa fan art or know someone who does, please contact me. I am looking for someone to do a commission on something that's going to happen in the next chapters, so hit me up :)

Clarke woke up smiling when she felt the tug on her top. She knew exactly where she was, the sweet aroma of Lexa lingered in the air, intoxicating all around her. She breathed in deeply. The brunette was resting against Clarke's side. Her head was laid on Clarke's chest as she mumbled incoherently while sleeping and tugging Clarke closer. That's when Clarke woke up and realized where she was and how she was. She smiled, pulling Lexa closer. Lexa's body wiggled to hers and now they rested in bed like they were glued, no space between them. She kissed Lexa's crown making the girl stir. Lexa opened her eyes and looked up. Clarke reprehended herself for waking the girl, but when she looked at those stunning green eyes, she forgot the world around them. There was only Lexa and her.

"Hi." Lexa greeted, stretching and letting go of Clarke's top and running her hand through Clarke's side until she reached the blonde's neck. They look lingering at each other for what seemed like an eternity. It was so easy for Clarke to reach down and lock her lips on Lexa's and it was even easier for Lexa to pull Clarke down to kiss her. It wasn't until Lexa tried to massage the hairs in Clarke's nape that the pain in her hand reminded her what happened last night. She bolted away from Clarke, almost rising from the bed.

"Hey, hey, hey." Clarke grabbed Lexa's wrists and pulled her to bed. "Where do you think you are going?"

There was a smile on Clarke's face but Lexa started shivering as she tried to break away from Clarke. Panic was written on her face, but the blonde pulled her closer, on top of her and locked her hands on the small of her back. "Talk to me."

Lexa tried to stay out of Clarke’s embrace, forcing her body up with her extended arms, but Clarke kept holding tight. The brunette lowered her gaze, but it came in contact with Clarke's breasts. Embarrassed, she looked up so fast she almost hit Clarke's head, so she just looked at the window.

"Clarke, this is highly inappropriate. I need to speak with Anya and-" Clarke shushed her, placing her index finger against Lexa's lips.

"Don't worry about that now and just come here." Clarke wiggled under Lexa, pulling her against her body. Reluctantly Lexa started to relax but she felt unsure. "I took care of it. Don't worry."

All Lexa's weight rushed out of her as she fell down on top of Clarke, hiding her head on the crook of Clarke's neck, inhaling the sweet lavender smell.

"Why?" She was shaking again and Clarke just held her tighter.

"Just let me take care of you. Don't worry about it."

Lexa felt numb. She started to get emotional, she's not used to people caring for her, especially after she fucks things up. Bad things happen after she loses control, but now she's in Clarke's arms, Clarke is kissing her hair, her face and telling her that everything was going to be okay. Lexa cries when Clarke says it again. And Clarke repeats it until she stops crying and smiles.

"Now you sound like a mafia guy."

"Who says I am not?"

Lexa wants to kiss this girl, this woman, this wonderful person, this everything.

She pulls herself up, wanting to look better at Clarke, but when she does, her thigh comes in contact with Clarke’s core, eliciting a moan from the blonde. Lexa looked surprised at Clarke, both a little flushed by what happened.

“Clarke, I-” Lexa didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know why she talked even, but the way Clarke looked at her, with want and desire, made her lost her train of thought.

The desire in both theirs gazes wasn't imperceptible to them. After the initial shock, Clarke ran her hands through Lexa’s side, feeling the goosebumps on the girl’s skin. Lexa’s green eyes were dark with desire, but in a slip of a second, they returned to their normal green as the brunette lifted herself from the bed.

“Let’s not do something we’ll both regret later.”

“Who says I am going to regret it?” Clarke countered, she was all worked up and frustrated right now, but she understood what Lexa meant. She laid in bed, her arm rested upon her eyes. “And it’s your fault, Woods, yours and those long legs of yours.”

Lexa sat next to Clarke on the bed, smirking, but kept her feet on the ground, she needed something to feel grounded.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Clarke added, making Lexa tilt her head in confusion towards her. “Repress and change your emotions so fast, like nothing had happened.”

“Years of practice,” Lexa confessed sadly, lowering her eyes to the ground.

“Don’t do it.” Clarke sat on the bed and searched for the brunette’s hands, interlacing their finger together as she rested her chin on Lexa’s shoulder. “Around me, I mean. I like to know what you are thinking and feeling. I can decipher some things but most of you is a mystery to me.” Clarke caressed Lexa’s cheek, smiling as the brunette looked at her with warm eyes “That or I’ll buy you a mood ring.”

Lexa laughed, throwing her head back while doing it. “Already trying to put a ring on my finger, Griffin?”

“Oh, shut up!” Clarke’s embarrassed eyes laid on her lap. Lexa smiled, jumping back on the bed and seating next to the blonde, lifting her arm and inviting the blonde to cuddle next to her. Clarke smiled and melted against the brunette’s side.

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” Clarke searched for Lexa’s free hand since the other was drawing circles on her shoulder and arm. Lexa looked adorable with her teddy bear’s pajama and fluffy socks.

“Anya works on Thanksgiving, so normally I spend it on my last foster parent’s house. He’s friends with Indra, the woman that helped Anya.” Lexa said, nonchalantly, while playing with Clarke’s fingers. Their conversation was heading to an uncomfortable zone for Lexa, but she trusted Clarke. She wants to give her another part of her past.

Lexa thought about it, maybe it was easier if Clarke knew her past, she would understand Lexa better or maybe if she knew, she would keep her distance, like the few friends Lexa made over the years. 

“You’re still in contact with them?” Clarke looked up to Lexa, smiling encouragingly to the brunette. 

“Gustus takes on difficult cases, like me, and it’s impossible to be indifferent to him. He’s such a wonderful person. I’ll take you there to meet him some day.”

“You want me to meet your foster parent?” Clarke’s tone was a little bit pitchy. The way Lexa talks about her foster parent makes her think that meeting this man would be almost the same as meeting Lexa’s dad and that scares her.

Lexa shrugs, blushing slightly as she tried to brush away the possible connotation that meeting Gustus may drive its way to Clarke’s mind. “Why not? He worries about me, then I can show him that I have someone that protects me. What about you? Your mom’s coming?”

Clarke shrugged and buried her head under Lexa’s chin, avoiding to look into the brunette’s eyes. She hates family holidays, they were always sad without her father around and her mother choosing work before her.

“Before my father’s death, my mom worked one of the holidays, now she’ll be working both, so…” Clarke shrugged. “But I am going to New York on both, with Raven and Octavia. She wants to be there, in case her brother makes an appearance.”

Lexa's face turned serious. “I’ve heard Octavia talk about her brother when we were playing. Why did he run away?”

Clarke sight deeply before tugging Lexa’s hand closer. “Don’t get me wrong, Bellamy is a good guy. He would put himself in front of a bullet for Octavia, but he has his own demons to beat.”

Lexa nodded and hugged Clarke closer, making the girl shift on top of her.

The feeling of behind closer to each other, even without anything happening between them, was something both women couldn’t describe. It was like having a safe haven, a way of being themselves, of knowing they were both safe. The connection they shared was unique.

Clarke began fiddling with the cord on Lexa’s pants. It was a nervous tic that Lexa had already noted on the girl. Clarke usually needs to distract herself with something when she’s anxious.

Lexa squeezed her closer, breathing into her hair. “What’s on your mind, pretty bird?”

Clarke’s hand stopped a little as she smiled at the nickname. It does things to her.

“Do you remember the last time we chat on the game? You told me you wanted to kiss me goodnight and I answer that I wanted for you to kiss me good morning.”

Clarke was hesitant. This wasn’t the way she wanted to bring this subject up but she had this enormous want to kiss Lexa.

“I told you I wish I could kiss you. Not that I wanted.” Lexa felt Clarke’s body fall down with sadness and doubt. She saw the girl bit her lips before looking to her.

“You don’t want to kiss me?”

Lexa sat up, bringing Clarke with her and cupped her face, looking straight into her eyes. “Clarke, there’s nothing I want more. But I am not ready.”

“Because of yesterday?”

“Yes.” Lexa rubbed her nose on Clarke’s nose, before letting go and leaning back on the bed. “I know you didn't do it on purpose, I understand that. But it made me remember things I thought I had buried. I just need some time to assimilate what happened.”

“I understand…” Clarke was on the verge of tears, she gathered herself to go away, but Lexa grabbed her, eyes wide with panic.

“No, please, don’t go away. I don’t want that. That’s exactly what I don’t want. I need you. Your touch, your caress. I _need_ it. If you go, I’ll lose myself.” While Clarke was still on the bed, Lexa got up, pacing nervousness, while running her hands through her hair. The panic got over her in a flash. She looked at Clarke with fear, before kneeling in front of her and grabbing her hands. “Clarke, nobody treated me like you do, I was never afraid to lose someone as I am afraid of losing you. You are the most caring, intelligent, smart-mouthed, wise and understandable person I know. You entered my life because of a computer game and changed it completely. I think it's destiny or luck, because how else can I explain that I met my dream girl online and she lived almost next door? And when I think about it, I am even more convinced that we were meant to meet. If my mother didn’t come to this awful city to kill herself, we would have met in New York. If she did and your mother continued working here, we would have met here. We were destined to meet. I just don’t understand how it didn’t happen sooner. But we are here now. I won’t lie to you. This, us, the possibility of an us, scares the shit out of me. I’ve always ruined the best things that happened to me and I am SO scared of pushing you away. But I know you are stubborn and if you think you can put up with me, don’t leave me. I’ll learn. I’ll learn how to love you right, I just want to make you happy.”

The tears that ran on Clarke’s face were fueled by love and happiness. She jumped from the bed and her lips collapsed with Lexa's, but as soon as they touched, Clarke stepped back, looking at the brunette that was taken by surprise and was still stunned.

"This is not a first kiss." Clarke informed, eyes stern and index finger pointing. "This is the promise of a first kiss. It will happen because I'll wait. I don't know what to answer to something like that, but I can promise you the same things. I'll be as stubborn as you need me to be and I'll wait. I just want you to promise me one thing." Lexa, who now had figured out what happened and was attentive following Clarke's works, with a smile on her lips, nodded eagerly for the blonde to continue. "I want you to talk to me. I know it takes time and I think you already know how patient I can be, so please tell me what is in that pretty mind of yours."

Clarke took the two steps that had put between them and watched the brunette melt on her arms as she opened them. The usually stoic facade that slowly she broke off Lexa, was torn apart completely and the woman she now held in her arms was vulnerable and innocent. After a few seconds, Lexa recomposed herself, cupping Clarke's face and kissing her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, before looking at the blue eyes she came to adore, without saying a word, but letting Clarke know what she was feeling and thinking.

"That was not a first kiss." Clarke reminded.

"That was not a first kiss." Lexa agreed.

The staring contest was broken off by the sound of Lexa's rumbling stomach, pleading for substance. Clarke stepped away, smiling when she saw the pout on the brunette lips as she left her personal space.

"Come on, I brought you breakfast and coffee, which is cold by now."

Lexa walked to her bedside table and picked up the cup and paper bag. "Don't worry, I will heat it in the microwave. What did you get me?"

"Red velvet cupcake with white chocolate frosting."

Lexa couldn’t hide the happy surprise that spread through her face at Clarke’s answer.

"How did you know I like it?"

Clarke shook her head in disbelieve, before locking her arm on the brunette’s and dragged her downstairs to the kitchen. "I always see you staring at them every time we go to that little bakery where we drink that special coffee, so if you don't want to treat yourself with one, I will. I am going to spoil you."

Lexa placed her right hand on top of her heart, smiling silly at Clarke. "Ah! The way to my heart!"

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa had her elbows planted on the kitchen counter as was eating her cupcake satisfied, swaying her hips in content when she noticed how quiet Clarke was. In fact, Clarke was seated on the table, looking at the bowl of fruit that rested on the center.

"What is in your mind, Clarke?"

Lexa smiled at the little jump Clarke did when she brought her down from her thoughts. "How- ?"

"You have two moods, Clarke.” Lexa smiled and tilted her head, observing the girl. “When you talk nonstop and the one where you are too quiet because you are having an internal conversation with yourself in your head. So care to share your thoughts with the rest of the class?"

Clarke looked at both her hands on the table, before turning her eyes to Lexa and then again to her hands.

"I- I was thinking about you. You looked so broken yesterday and I wish I knew what happened in the past to make you lose it like that. Being stood up is never easy but the look on your eyes showed something else. You don't have to tell me, Lex, I just... I don't even know what I want. Sorry.” She let her head fell between her shoulders “Just eat your breakfast in peace."

Lexa walked the short distance between the counter and the table, seating in front of Clarke.

"For me to explain to you why that hurt so much, I need you to tell you about my ex. And that's not easy.” She searched for Clarke’s hand, trying to gather some courage. “Do you want to hear it?"

Clarke sat straight on her seat, grabbing the offered hand and squeeze it. "If you want to tell me, I'll be listening"

"Okay.” Lexa breathed in and looked at theirs joined hands, she couldn’t face Clarke while she told this story, otherwise, she won’t make it to the end. “We meet through friends, she lived in a different town and went to a different high school. She told me she fell in love with me at first sight and I fell for that. She used to come here and we would watch tv together and make out, but that was it, she hated when I asked for a hug or when we cuddled, always telling me how needy I was… After a while, she wanted to go a little further but I wasn't sure about it so I told her ‘no’ a few times and she didn't take that good. After that, things went downhill.” Lexa looked up and saw Clarke’s calm and reassuring smile. She knew if she stopped there, Clarke won’t be mad, but she needed to continue. So, with another deep breath, she started again. “We were at a party when she hit me the first time. Called me worthless and that my mother did the right thing by killing herself so she didn't have to witness the garbage I've become. I didn't react when she did this. I let her bring me home and she left without saying a word.  The next day she called and asked for forgiveness, that she didn't know what happened but that she didn't felt or thought the things she said. I forgave her.” Lexa paused like she was cursing herself for that moment of weakness. That was the first time she thought love was a weakness. She pondered her words before speaking again. “We continued to hang out and one day, when Anya was pulling a double shift I told her I wanted more. I felt good in the beginning, her hands, her fingers, but after a while, I told her she was hurting me, but she continued. I will spare you the details, you can figure it out. She told me she was almost over and kept me on the bed, one hand on my throat and straddling my leg. She continued hurting me, I told her to stop a few times but she only stopped when she came. I didn't feel good at all. I didn't know what to think, it was my first time, so maybe it was supposed to hurt, I don't know. All I know is that she gathered her clothes and told me it was the worst sex she ever had and then she went home. I was bleeding and with bruises all over my body. I took a bath and cried that night.” Lexa stopped as her voice seemed to betray her, but Clarke saw the blank look on the brunette’s face. That was when she understood the stoic and cold mannerisms Lexa gives out.  “We had a date on the next day, so I went to her house. It was empty. So I went to our friend's house, she was having a party and right there, on the front porch, I saw my soon to be ex-girlfriend tongue deep on another girl's throat. The girl was dancing really sensual with her, something that I never could do. When she saw me, she came at me and embarrassed me again. Told everyone how bad I was in bed, that this act of orphan kid was nothing more than a plea for attention that she was tired of giving. She then poured her drink over my head and told me to get lost.” Lexa took a shaky breath and Clarke squeezed her hand in return. “I walked home and when Anya saw me, she asked what happened and I told her everything. We weren't that close at that time. That's when all changed. She wanted to kill Costia. I never saw my sister so angry. She wanted me to file a report but I didn't want to think about what happened. High school was about to end, I wouldn't have to see any of those people again and I just wanted to move forward. I continued the rest of the year all by myself and I was okay with that. Then university came and I was living the dream. I never thought about them again. I don't know if they stayed in town or if they moved. My life is in this part of the town now. I have no reason to leave my comfort zone.” Lexa shrugged as she lifted her gaze to find Clarke’s. “That’s it. Almost four years later I met you and here we are.” She lifted her eyebrows suggestively making Clarke roll her eyes.

The blonde rose from the chair and sat on Lexa’s lap, hugging her tight.

“You are so strong, my beautiful girl. If I ever lay my eyes on that girl, I’ll kick her ass. And you-” She placed her hands on Lexa’s cheeks, making their eyes bore into each other. Blue gazing green and green staring back at blue. “Please don’t be afraid to talk to me, to open up and tell me what’s wrong. I see you, Lexa Woods, you are beautiful inside and out. I love your heart, I love your geekiness and how tender you are. What I don’t like is the way you try to break off situations that scare you by making awful commentaries. There’s no need for that with me. She hated when you were needy? I LOVE when you are needy. I love your laugh, I love the way you hold my shirt when you sleep, I love when you are the one that initiates any kind of caress. I love it all.” _I love you_ stayed unsaid but they both knew it was there.

They sat on the couch and Clarke pulled Lexa on her lap, hugging her like she was a baby. Her baby. Lexa relaxed on Clarke's arms as they watched tv. Sometimes Lexa would look up and kiss Clarke's jaw, watching the blonde smile and rubbing their noses together. Lexa was at ease. She felt free like she never felt before. This prison, this cage she always felt around her, since she was little has come to disappear. When she was a child she never could be herself, she had to keep her feelings hidden or she would get in trouble. That's why she read if she was reading she wouldn't get in trouble. When she met Gustus, she barely said a word if she had to. She would be in her corner, quiet. Gustus made her come out of her shell a little more. Told her it was important for her to have a voice and to use it. But Lexa knew it was a bad idea to let go completely. The only time she did that, she broke more things that she could fix, but now the weight she carried on her shoulders was gone, she could breathe, her chest expanded without difficulty and her heart wasn't dead. Her heart beat stronger and fast, like the wings of a hummingbird. That was all because of the blonde next to her. Clarke brought her back to life. Clarke taught her to feel again.

She buried herself against the blonde, hugging her midsection with her head on Clarke’s lap and her legs resting along the couch.

Clarke's hands were around her, protectively and she felt so good.

"My sister never liked Costia." She started, watching Clarke from her lap

"Hmm?"

"Anya. She told me Costia was bad news. But she likes you.” Lexa sat on the couch, straddling Clarke. “I saw her talking to you yesterday before Finn appeared and she told _you_ to take me away. She never told Lincoln that, and she trusts him with her life. Every time I had a bad episode, she would be the one taking me away from the scene. Last night you were the one that took care of me. I won't forget it, Clarke. That means a lot to me."

Clarke brought Lexa's injured hand to her lips. The brunette fall against Clarke’s front, resting her head on top of Clarke’s chest and hugging her like a koala.

"Will you ever tell me what you told Finn so that he is not pressing charges?"

Clarke shrugged as her hand played with Lexa’s hair. "I just talked to him."

"Threatened him?" She tried.

There was a kiss on her hair and a smile. "Maybe."

 

* * *

 

 

“Call me when you get there so I know you arrived safely.” Lexa asked as she hugged Clarke one last time. Clarke lets go of the tender embrace with a smirk on her face. Lexa rolled her eyes and kissed the blonde’s forehead. “Or don’t. I don’t want to impose.”

After that awful attempt at a first date and the wonderful day that came next, they had become inseparable.

“I will text and call when I am not driving, okay? I’ll miss you, Lex.” Clarke locks a strand of brown hair behind the little ear she adores.

“It’s going to be the longest four days of my life. Who’s going to cook for me?”

Clarke smacks the brunette’s bicep. “That’s all you care? The food?”

“Nah, the company is the best.” Lexa smiles fondly and gave Clarke another kiss on the forehead. They really need to say their goodbyes quickly if Clarke wanted to arrive in New York before the sun was down.  

“I got to go.” Clarke said one last time, as her body leaned perfectly against Lexa’s. The brunette hummed against her forehead as she snakes her arms around the blonde’s waist.

“I know.”

Right there, in the middle of Lexa’s driveway, in the morning chill and with Octavia and Raven sleeping in the parked car, there was a struggle of feelings, neither one of them wanted to leave the other, but their sweet bubble had to be broken, someone needed to give in first. Neither wanted to but someone had to take the first step and when it came to things that hurt, Lexa was a pro on giving the first step. Like always in her life, she stepped away from the warm of happiness and gave Clarke one last lingering look, like she wanted to remember all of the blonde to compensate the next four days. With one last kiss on the cheek, Lexa took two steps back, hugging herself against the cold breeze and the lack of Clarke’s heat.

“Drive safe, okay?”

The blonde was left pouting before nodding and walking to her car. She climbed in and wave Lexa goodbye before turning on the car and driving away. Lexa stood planted on her driveway watching the car disappear down the road. How is she going to survive the next days without her best friend?

Lexa tried everything to keep herself distracted, but nothing seemed to work. The game was boring without her companions and Clarke’s raspy voice, she tried to read but when she got to the end of one page, she had forgotten what was at the top already.

She was spread on her couch, the tv as background and kept looking at her phone, waiting for it to ring. That’s how Anya found her when she arrived home for lunch.

“What are you doing?” she came around the couch and kissed her sister hair, ruffling it a little bit.

“Waiting for Clarke to tell me something.”

Anya looked at her sister and shook her head in disbelieve. That girl was whipped.

“They are half way now.”

Lexa rose from the couch so fast she stumbled on her on feet. Anya saw this from the kitchen and smiled as she drank her water.

“How do you know?” Lexa tried to look nonchalant, as she played with her fingers on the counter, but Anya gave her ‘really? That’s how you are going to play it?’ look and Lexa sighed. Her sister knows her too well. Anya didn’t tease further.

“I saw Raven’s Instagram story. She has been documenting their trip.”

Lexa looked so small when she spoke next.

“Can I see it?”

Her sister smiles and gave her her phone. Lexa took it eagerly and unlocked it before looking at it.

“Yeah, you need to show me how to go there, because I have no idea how this works.”

Anya took back her phone and navigated through it, instructing Lexa how to do it. When the younger woman saw the love of her life on the small screen, singing as she drove and laughing happily a big smile spread on her face, as she held the phone and contorted Clarke’s silhouette with her finger. Anya laughed and placed her hand on Lexa’s shoulder.

“I am happy you are happy. Did you guys figure it out what you are going to do? Because you have been spending a lot more time with her and texting and calling constantly.”

Lexa shrugged, giving Anya back her phone. “She gave me time and I told her we could try again after the exams.”

“So, the only thing missing is a date so you guys can kiss on the mouth and stuff? Do you know how incredibly cheesy and stupid that is? I can’t wrap my mind around that. You guys act like a couple. You are disgusting together as a couple should be. The only thing missing is the exchange of saliva.”

“I wanna do this right, Anya. She’s not some random girl.” Lexa whispered, feeling embarrassed and shy. “I think she may be the love of my life.”

Anya looked with disbelieved at her sister, before smiling proudly and hugging the brunette. “Only a nerd like you could find a girlfriend playing computer games.”

“Hey! I’m not a nerd.”

Anya smiled and she caressed Lexa’s brown curls. “Whatever you say, Lexa. Whatever you say.”

Clarke called Lexa the minute she entered her home, already missing her like crazy. Six and a half hours are too much without talking to Lexa. She smiled as the brunette told her she felt the same. Even through the phone, Clarke could imagine how Lexa was smiling, or the way her eyes were sparkling. They talked almost all night before they both had to hang up, they needed to be up early the next day.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa felt nostalgic as she walked the pavement to her foster father’s house. She lived there for four years and she was thankful for the kind man hospitality. Gustus made her come out of her shell a little, made her realize who she was and how to have a mind of her own. He taught her how to have an opinion and to express that opinion, he accepted who she was without a second thought and helped her to control her emotions without breaking into a fight. He is a shelter. Now he does that to other kids, like the one who opened the door after she knocked.

Aden crushed her into a hug, he was way taller than she remembered, but again she only saw the boy a few times a year. She felt guilty and promised herself to try and come by more often.

“Hey, Lexa is good to see you.”

“You too, kid.” she ruffled his sandy hair before entering the house and let herself be absorbed by the smells and sounds of ‘family’ holidays. She hung her coat by the door and went further into the house. Gustus was cooking while Indra chopped vegetables. Indra’s daughter was sitting at the island looking at her phone. She was the first to notice Lexa.

“Hi, Lexa. Welcome back to the madness!” Gaia said. Lexa stopped at the door frame, watching the small gathering from afar. Both Indra and Gustus looked up from what they were doing to greet Lexa. After a few questions about college and life, they continued in silence. Lexa stood there, observing and thinking about how their organized cooking was so different from watching Clarke, Raven and Octavia cooking. That was madness and laughter and happiness and Lexa’s stomach flips as she missed that chaos. She missed the way Raven would hi-five her every time she made a sass remark or how Octavia stole cookies from both of them without Clarke noticing, but the thing Lexa missed the most was being alone with Clarke in the kitchen and the blonde would come to her with a spoon and ask her to taste. The food was always delicious and Clarke would jump excitedly, before kissing Lexa’s cheek as a thank you. After the first time that it happened, Lexa swore if she had to taste mud and tell Clarke it was great just to see her smile like that, she would. Not that it was necessary, Clarke’s food was wonderful.

Her day dreaming was broke off by Gustus, who asks her to go and tell Ontari to join them. Lexa nodded before walking to her old room. Ontari was an even more difficult case than her. The girl came to Gustus after her teacher noticed the burn marks that Ontari’s mother was inflicting on the girl, who was seven at the time. Ontari’s older brother bailed out when the social worker asked him if he wanted to be Ontari’s guardian. Ontari has been with Gustus for ten years now, Lexa shared her room with Ontari for two years, before Anya was able to get her custody, but when Anya worked late, or couldn’t be home when she got out of school, Lexa would come to Gustus and stay there. She didn’t remember how her friendship with Ontari began. They were both troubled girls who didn’t want to socialize with anybody else. When Anya visited Lexa in those two years they had to be apart, she would bring ice cream to a scared Ontari too and sometimes the girl would trust them enough to join them on a movie marathon, even if she would stay far away from the sisters. They didn’t talk much, both of them were really quiet, but somehow, between looks and nods, they understood each other. Lexa would help a small Ontari with her homework and they would watch tv together, but in different couches and smile at the same things. When Lexa’s stupid adolescent phase began, she didn’t go by the house except for holidays and Ontari felt left behind. After Costia, she started to hang out in the house again, to distract herself and help with the new kid, Aden who was eight at the time and really behind in school and a pre-adolescent Ontari didn’t have the patience to help him. Aden was like a little duck, always following Lexa around when she was there and he would cry when she had to go.  
Lexa stopped at the room, the door was opened and Ontari was at her desk, studying.

“Hi, Ri. May I came in?

“Lexa.” Ontari acknowledged without looking from her books. “How’s the grown-up life treating you?”

“It’s good. How about you? How’s school?”

Ontari shrugged and lift her head in Lexa’s direction. “Same place, same shit. What are we going to do?”

Lexa took this as an invitation to enter and walked the few steps to the bed, where she sat, looking at Ontari.

“Gustus told me about this guy… do you want to talk about it?”

Ontari stopped writing, dropping the pencil on the table and turning on her chair to look at Lexa.

“One-time thing, he has a girlfriend now.”

“Sucks to be rejected. Do you want me to kick his ass?” she placed her hand on Ontari’s thigh.

The girl seemed thoughtful. “Hmm, can I kick Costia’s?

Lexa smiled before standing up with open arms.  “Come here.”

The panic on Ontari’s face was hilarious. “What? Lex- we don’t usually are this affectionate- WE don’t hug! What is wrong with you? What happened?”

Ontari tried to run, but Lexa was faster and agiler, she hugged the girl who fought back a bit before standing in Lexa’s arms paralyzed.  

“I’ve been thinking about life lately and I am trying to give back what it has been giving me.” Lexa took a step back so she could cup Ontari’s face and make the girl stare at her eyes. “I am here, for whatever you need me, call me, text me, anytime you want.”

Ontari swallowed before nodding and being hugged by Lexa again, only this time she reciprocated the hug. They stood there a few minutes before Ontari broke the silence.

“You are in love, aren’t you? That’s why you are this demonstrative and emotional.” She paused and waited for an answer but interrupted the silence again when an idea popped into her head. “Wait, you are not pregnant, are you?”

Lexa laughed and stood back, looking at Ontari. “You know I am a lesbian, right?”

“Well, I read you guys like to speed things up, so…” she shrugged again and Lexa brushed affectionately the knuckles of her hand on Ontari’s jaw, before pulling the girl under her arm.

“I’ve missed you Ri. And yes, I think I am in love. Come on, I’ll tell you all about it after dinner.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is it for now!  
> Tell me what you think :)


End file.
